


Storm in the Attic

by hyperInactive



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: ANYWAY i dont know what else i need to tag, Big Ol Platonic Moxiety, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, also if youre looking for deceit as a good guy, also this is fairly virgil centric bc uhhhhh i gotta Project, and i love him, but hes not in this for super long anyway so he's not a 'bad guy' either, i am only one lesbian you cant expect me to not make it gay, i guess theres death?? but like....death as a concept. no one gets like. murdered or anything, ill probably add more if i think of them, ok but yeah the focus isnt the romance but its still gay, please enjoy my good dudes, rated teen but i do say the bad words sometimes altho i limited myself, thats a real good trope yall, the f word is said four times total and thats very good for me considering i curse like a sailor, the main focus isnt romance which is a HUGE shocker for me, the slowest burn i think ive ever written, this is not the fic for you i am sorry, this is pretty slow burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-05-16 20:32:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 66,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19325575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyperInactive/pseuds/hyperInactive
Summary: When Patton Sanders is two years old, a strange boy shows up in his attic room with no memory of how he got there.  Patton doesn't know what to do, all he knows is that this boy is more scared than Patton is, and that Patton wants to fix that.So Patton asks his parents to let the quiet boy stay with them.  And over the following years, that boy becomes like a brother to Patton.But not all is as it seems, for that boy has yet to realize something.  Something so intrinsic about himself that it could change his entire life.





	1. It Rains and It Pours

**Author's Note:**

> please let me apologize in advance everyone: I Cannot Write Children.
> 
> this boy is two years old and i know he doesnt sound it but please,,,,,its only for one chapter i promise.

Patton Sanders wasn’t scared.  He wasn’t! His parents were fine, sitting in the kitchen drinking from the bottle that Momma kept on the upper shelf, her and Daddy talking quietly.  They weren’t bothered by the thunder. So Patton wasn’t either! He was brave, his Daddy always told him he was brave, and he was going to prove it! He was sitting, curled in three blankets on the couch, trying to block out the booms and the crashes in the sky, but it wasn’t working.  He was supposed to be in bed right now, but the safety of his bed meant he had to go to the attic. He would rather stay close to his parents until something happened. Because it would. Because storms were bad and loud, and -  _ definitely not scary!  _ He shook lightly with every noise, every flash of light outside, every soft flicker of the lights.  An outsider would think he was naked in the snow with how badly he was shivering. But he was fine. Patton was totally fine.  A flash of lightning illuminated the street outside and Patton was doing just great. He considered running to his parents, but they were busy.  They seemed serious with whatever they were talking about in the kitchen. Patton could handle this on his own anyway, he was big! He was two now, he could handle a storm!  

 

He  _ wasn’t _ scared.  He—

 

_ Crash!  _

 

The lights went out for five whole seconds, sending Patton scurrying up the stairs and into his room, huddling under his blankets for the security of the familiar fabrics.  He squeezed his eyes shut, focusing on the darkness and the warmth and definitely not the rain pounding on the window or the persistent flashes of light threatening to be seen through his closed eyelids or the ever louder crashes of thunder that his parents told him not to worry about.  He was blocking out the creaking of the roof above him, his attic room betraying him by being close to the elements, he was blocking out the scratching of the trees against the side of the house, the whipping of the wind against the walls, the whimpering from the corner, the sorry the  _ what now _ ? 

 

Patton’s eyes snapped open as they focused on a new sound.  A sound that wasn’t the storm currently terrifying him. Heavy, shaking breathing, and choked sobs.  Someone was crying. And it wasn’t him, he checked. He threw the blankets off of him, looking around with wide eyes until they landed on a shape in the corner of his room, obscured by shadows.  Patton narrowed his eyes, hopping off of his bed and slowly making his way across the floor, avoiding the patches of darkness on the ground. It wasn’t that he was afraid of the dark…...but he was a little bit.  As he got closer, the figure became clearer, until Patton saw the shape of a boy around the same size as him. He was huddled into a ball, curled in on himself with his face tucked into the fabric of his jacket.  Patton knelt down, watching the boy curiously.

 

“Who’re you?” He asked, utilizing all the tact possible for a two-year-old boy.  Which was to say, none. The other boy whirled to face him in fright, wide brown eyes staring at Patton as tears continued to fall from them.  His hair fell into his face, plastered there from sweat, and his mouth floundered as no words came from them. He was still shaking, and when a loud crack of thunder split the sky, he flinched violently and curled back in on himself.  Patton frowned, sympathy panging in his chest. He scooted forward until he was sitting right next to the other boy. Reaching his arm out, he rested it on the boy’s shoulders, feeling him flinch again as he glanced at Patton out of the corner of his eyes.  He was wary and suspicious, but after a few minutes, he relaxed into Patton’s arms. 

 

The storm kept raging outside, the boy shivering in Patton’s grip.  Patton’s own fears were forgotten in favor of comforting him, shifting the boy closer until his face was hidden in Patton’s shoulder rather than his knees.  Patton just tried to imitate his parents, running his fingers through the boy’s hair until his breathing started to even out. The storm outside seemed farther away, as Patton focused his attention on the boy clutching at his pajamas like a lifeline.  Patton didn’t know how he ever was nervous about this boy. Sure, he was...somehow in his room late at night, but he wasn’t scary. He was the scared one. 

 

Another peal of thunder rocked the attic, and Patton found that as the boy shrunk further into him, he wasn’t scared at all.  

 

* * *

 

Sunlight streamed in through the window, worming its way under Patton’s eyelids and dragging him from sleep.  He yawned, shifting to roll over when his arm refused to move. There was something on it? He reluctantly blinked his eyes open and stiffened at the sight of a boy his age curled against his side and trapping his arm against the wall of the attic.  The previous night came back to Patton, how he had comforted this boy from the storm. The boy was asleep, the fear that had stricken his face hours ago was wiped away, and he seemed calm. But Patton was a curious kid, and this boy somehow got into his room.  He lightly shook the boy, until his eyes fluttered open to reveal the dark brown irises. They locked immediately onto Patton, and the boy scrambled back in fear until Patton reached out an arm to rest it on the boy’s shoulder. 

 

“Hey,” He said quietly, and his voice seemed to jog a memory in the boy, as his eyes cleared and he stopped trying to run away.  Patton kept his voice down, he didn’t want to wake Momma or Daddy, or make them want to come into his room right now. He shifted closer to the boy again.  “You ‘kay?”

 

Patton may have been ahead of his age group with speaking, but that didn’t mean he was eloquent.  His parents were working to introduce the nuances of language before he went to kindergarten, to impress his teachers and give him a leg up, but it was a work in progress.  The boy blinked at Patton, his eyebrows furrowing. But he quickly worried his bottom lip between his small teeth and opened his mouth.

 

“Y-yeah,” His voice was almost a breath, so quiet that Patton had to lean forward to hear him.  However, as soon as he realized what the boy had said, a bright grin split his face.

 

“Yeah!  It was pretty scary.  Who’re you?” The question came so fast that the boy barely had time to be surprised before the stutter of a response instinctively came.  

 

“M-my name is Virgil,” He blurted, still confused, but he seemed to relax at the sheer joy that radiated from Patton.  

 

“Virgil!  I’m Patton,” Patton responded with a wide grin, gaining a hesitant and small smile from the other boy in return.  He would take it. He moved closer again until he was sitting right next to Virgil, the boy curling his knees up to his chest and letting his hair fall in front of his eyes.  “You’re in my room.”

 

Virgil flushed a deep red as he glanced around the attic room, seemingly noticing it for the first time.  He curled into himself again but relaxed as Patton nudged him with a shoulder. 

 

“S-sorry,” Virgil muttered, still barely above a whisper.  Patton liked his voice though, it sounded nice. He wanted to make Virgil not scared.  So he stopped grinning so widely, and just smiled instead. He wasn’t scared of Virgil, and so that meant that he didn’t have to worry about why the boy was in his room, right?  He didn’t have to be  _ so  _ insistent about how, although he was still gonna ask.  

 

“Why?” He asked, knowing that asking that sometimes annoyed Momma, but Virgil didn’t know that.  Virgil tore his eyes away from Patton, looking curiously around the room with narrowed eyes. Eventually, with Patton vibrating a little to keep himself from interrupting Virgil, he lowered his eyes to the floor with a mumble that Patton couldn’t hear.  Patton cocked his head and leaned onto his knees to get closer.

 

“Huh?” 

 

“I..I dunno,” Virgil mumbled again, his face flushing a dark red at the admission.  Patton didn’t know what to think. He didn’t know? How did he not know? The confusion must have shown on his face because Virgil looked up at him and then immediately back at the floor.  

 

“Don’t know?” Patton repeated, a little incredulous.  Virgil finally raised his gaze to meet Patton’s eyes. 

 

“I dunno.  Just…‘m here.”  He was back to whispering, practically talking to the fabric of his pants.  Patton frowned. 

 

“You ‘member anything?” He asked, hearing the other boy sigh and frown.  A shake of his head and Patton was sighing too.

 

“A voice…” Virgil trailed off, regaining Patton’s attention.  Virgil looked troubled, trying to remember anything at all, but struggling.  “Said it loved me.”

 

Was someone else in Patton’s room?  Did they bring Virgil? Were they coming back?  Patton opened his mouth, about to do yet another thing that annoyed his Momma and pester Virgil with these questions, when he saw something glint in the light from the window.  Something in Virgil’s eyes. Patton noticed that Virgil was tearing up and he lurched forward to wrap his arms awkwardly around the boy. Virgil stiffened, but when he realized Patton wasn’t letting go, he relaxed.  Patton felt something wet drip onto his shoulder, but he didn’t think it was gross. Momma and Daddy said crying was healthy, after all. And Patton would know, he cried a lot. 

 

“Well,” Patton said, his voice regaining its assured tone, “you’re staying!”

 

Virgil practically reared out of his grasp, staring at Patton with wide eyes.  Tears were still streaked down his face, his eyes a little red, but he seemed more shocked than upset.  Until a few seconds later, when he sniffed again and buried his head in his knees. Patton frowned, putting his hand on Virgil’s back until the boy’s breathing got regular again.  He wanted to get his parents, but he wanted to introduce them to Virgil properly. Because Patton wasn’t dumb. He was actually very observant for his age. And it didn’t take a genius to figure out that Virgil was feeling abandoned.  Patton might not know what that word meant, but he knew the feeling. However he got into Patton’s room, he was left alone by someone, and Patton hated seeing people lonely. So he was being an adult, like his parents, and deciding something.  

 

Virgil was absolutely staying.  

 

“Wanna meet my parents?” He said quickly, eyes bright as Virgil stared at him.  “Momma and Daddy are so cool.”

 

There was a minute of silence before Virgil looked back down at the floor.

 

“I- I'm not,” His face got a tinge of red again, “I don’t belong, an—”

 

“—What?  No! You  _ gotta  _ stay!” Patton pleaded, turning his puppy eyes on the boy.  Virgil frowned, trying to resist, but Patton knew his puppy eyes had gotten Daddy to take him to the ice cream truck even when Momma said no.  It only took a few minutes for Virgil to sigh and give Patton a small smile. Patton lit up, grabbing Virgil in another hug. 

 

When Patton heard his Daddy calling up the stairs that breakfast was ready, he pulled Virgil behind him until they reached the door to the attic.  Then, Virgil pulled away, frowning at the ground. Patton turned back to face him, tilting his head questioningly. Virgil mumbled something again.  

 

“Don’t...use my name,” He muttered, and Patton walked back to stand shoulder-to-shoulder.  

 

“Why?”

 

“Dunno, just…” Virgil crossed his arms over his chest.  “I don’t know them.”

 

Patton didn’t understand, but he didn’t want Virgil scared of his parents.  It made Patton feel good, actually, that Virgil told  _ him  _ his name if he didn’t feel comfortable telling Patton’s parents.  Hopefully once Virgil saw that they would totally help him and let him stay, he’d feel better.

 

“What name then?” Patton asked, and Virgil seemed surprised that he gave in that fast.  A small smile pulled at his lips. He looked around, eyes catching on the window where water was still running off the roof and hitting the glass.  He turned back to Patton with a questioning look in his eyes.

 

“...Rain?” He said quietly, probably expecting Patton to say it was bad.  But Virgil would soon realize that Patton was very easily excited, and he gripped Virgil’s hand with an enthusiastic smile.

 

“Ok!  C’mon then!”

 

Introducing Virgil to his parents as Rain went actually better than Patton was expecting.  His parents never once asked how Virgil got there, didn’t even question when Patton tugged him closer and said that he didn’t remember but that he needed a place to stay.  They just smiled at him and said that of course, Virgil was welcome. Virgil seemed shocked, eyes blown wide, but Patton noticed it wasn’t fear this time. It was hope. He squeezed Virgil’s hand lightly and grinned at his parents as they told him that it was his responsibility to set a place for Virgil at the table.  Then they went to dish out breakfast. Patton turned to the still-shocked Virgil with excitement. 

 

“You’re home!” He saw the shaky smile on Virgil’s face, and the glisten of his eyes, quickly pulling the other boy into another tight hug.  It took a lot shorter for Virgil to relax into this embrace. 

 

Throughout breakfast, Patton’s parents politely asked Virgil about himself, but when he answered it was in his normal mumbling speech.  Patton’s Momma had waited for a few seconds, after Virgil had finished speaking quietly, before turning to Patton and asking him to repeat what Virgil had said.  Patton put his hand on Virgil’s to quell the embarrassed blush on his face, as he relayed the answer brightly. He missed the look exchanged between his parents as Patton asked Virgil why he wasn’t eating the food Patton had dished for him.  Virgil just shrugged and said he didn’t feel hungry. Patton frowned then, but he let it go. Virgil was just adjusting, it made sense that he was awkward. 

 

“Patton honey, clean your plates off before you and Rain go to play, okay?” Momma asked, and Patton hopped off his chair with an ease that had his Daddy watching him carefully in case he fell.  But he checked with Virgil before grabbing the other boy’s still-full plate and carrying it to the kitchen with Virgil trailing behind him. 

 

As he and Virgil went to the playroom, he missed another look between his parents, aimed this time at the very one-sided chatter coming from the other room.  


	2. Kindergarten Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Growing older...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi i know its not saturday but how about that episode last night huh?? I totally didnt stay up till like,,,,4 because i was watching it. Nope. Anyway, here's my slightly spoilery thoughts on said episode: I very very much hate the duke bc i also deal with stuff like that! But thomas as always is a master at showing how to deal with those kinds of thoughts and i appreciate that a hell of a lot. Also, my dark son,,,,,,,,,,we been knew and i love him so very much, i want to hug him and i stg if thomas makes us wait months again till we see more of him im gonna yell (except he can always take his time and make sure hes in a good mental place before making episodes and so if thats why i gotta wait months then so be it)
> 
>  
> 
> But yeah!! that episode was wild and I love my scared son. He helps me with my own anxiety and so i love him, and im giving yall two chapters this week! including another one on the regular update saturday :)))))) hope yall like it!~

“Pat, wha’ is that?” Virgil mumbled sleepily from his place on the floor, sprawled half-napping in a patch of sunlight.  Patton looked up from where he was admiring his newest possession. He grinned and sat down next to Virgil, showing it off.  

 

“Backpack!  Momma got it for me,” He explained, showing the Care Bear design on the front with pride.  The rest of the bag was a soft blue, Patton’s favorite color, and his mom had already written his name on the tag in Sharpie.  Virgil traced the figures of the bears, a small frown appearing on his face as he thought. Patton put his hand over Virgil’s, covering the one still lying on the wood floor.

 

“Sorry you can’t come.  But I’ma teach you all of it!” He reassured the boy that had basically become his brother over the past three years.  Patton’s parents had sat him down a month ago and told him that he would be starting Kindergarten in the fall, and Patton had started excitedly talking about how much fun he and ‘Rain’ were going to have.  Patton’s parents had exchanged another look, before breaking the news that Rain would have to stay home. Apparently, since Rain wasn’t their son, there was some law or whatever that meant they couldn’t enroll him in kindergarten, or even elementary school once Patton was that age.  Patton was upset, and so was Virgil when he was told later that day, but they hadn’t sulked for long. It was Patton’s idea, for him to share whatever worksheets or coloring sheets he got, bringing them home so that he and Virgil could do them together. Patton had insisted that he wouldn’t let Virgil miss out on anything, and he would tell him stories of the day and tell him what the teacher taught him.  Virgil could only smile, grateful tears already pricking at his eyes. 

 

“‘M fine, Pat,” Virgil said, handing the bag back to Patton with a small quirk of his lips.  “I was scared, honest. When Momma and Daddy told us about school.”

 

“You’d do so good though,” Patton teased, wrapping Virgil in a hug that the other boy made a big deal about trying to escape.  “You  _ smart _ , Virge.”

 

“ _ Pat _ ,” Virgil groaned, wriggling out of Patton’s arms with a glare holding no heat behind it.  Patton just giggled and picked up his new backpack, moving it over to the corner of their attic room.  

 

“Patton!” Their Momma called up the stairs.  “Dinner!”

 

“We’re coming, Momma!” Patton yelled back, darting back over to help Virgil to his feet.  He looked at the other boy, at the shadows already forming under his eyes despite his young age.  A slight frown tugged at his lips. “Virge? Are you...gonna eat tonight?”

 

Virgil had told Patton why he never touched his food at meals.  It was the same reason that the attic was the only place he didn’t speak as quiet as a whisper.  He, for some unknown reason, was really self-conscious not only about his voice and the volume of his voice but also of eating in front of other people.  Patton was an exception, he was always an exception, but at the dining table? Virgil just stared at his plate, occasionally murmuring an answer to Patton, who would relay it to their parents in his loud young voice.  Patton would be lying if he said he wasn’t worried, and Momma and Daddy always told him not to lie, but he would never force Virgil to make himself uncomfortable. So he just snuck some leftovers out of the kitchen every night and brought them to the attic for Virgil.  

 

Virgil didn’t want to worry Patton by saying that he barely ate them at all before sneaking the plates back downstairs after they were supposed to be asleep.  

 

“Yeah, Pat,” He gave a small smile, “but later.”

 

That satisfied Patton, who grabbed his arm and took them down the stairs two at a time, much to their Momma’s chagrin as she came out of the kitchen.  

 

“ _ Patton _ ,” She chided, “how many times have we told you not to do that?”

 

“I keep telling you it’s dangerous,” Virgil mumbled into his ear.  Patton flushed.

 

“I know Momma, Rain says the same thing.” He looked down at the floor as his mom walked over to ruffle his hair. 

 

“Well maybe listen to Rain next time, huh?  We’re all just trying to keep you safe, sweetheart,” She said, giving him an exasperated smile.  

 

The rest of dinner went perfectly normal.  Virgil was practically a shadow, with Patton acting as his voice, but this time Patton noticed more of a frown than usual on his brother’s face.  It wasn’t hard to know why, though, not when they had talked about this before. Patton and Virgil were as close as brothers, despite not being related, but Patton’s parents still only thought of themselves as  _ Patton’s  _ parents.  Patton tried to make up for it when they were alone in the attic or playing together, but their parents never really gave Virgil the same affection they gave Patton.  No ruffling of the hair, no impromptu hugs or hoists into the air, no forehead kisses. Virgil had told Patton not to bother, otherwise Patton would be reminding them of Virgil’s presence whenever they seemed to forget about their newest son.  

 

“Are you excited for school on Monday?” Daddy asked, and Patton beamed, nodding enthusiastically.  That got a chuckle out of Virgil, who shook his head teasingly at Patton. Patton stuck his tongue out in response.  

 

“Now Patton, that wasn’t very nice, was it?” Momma caught him, as she always did.  Patton pouted.

 

“He was laughing at me,” He grumbled, but a glance at Virgil assured him that Virgil knew he wasn’t really upset.  Momma smiled, but she just turned to the chair that Virgil had claimed as his own.

 

“Ok then, both of you apologize.”

 

Virgil suddenly found the tablecloth very interesting, but he said he was sorry at the same time that Patton did.  And when dinner was over, Patton took their plates to the kitchen, sneaking Virgil’s food into a container and following their parent’s instructions to go up and get ready for bed.  They said good night, and then Patton followed his usual routine of insisting that he was old enough to tuck them both in on his own, which let him hand Virgil the container of food without the worry of their parents realizing they weren’t asleep.  

 

Patton always fell asleep before Virgil, with a mumbled goodnight and a forehead kiss.  

 

Virgil never felt comfortable enough to sleep until Patton was quietly breathing next to him, his face peaceful and calm.

 

* * *

 

“Rain!   _ Rain! _ ” Patton’s excited voice called up the stairs, rousing Virgil from his nap.  He found that sleeping was the only way to stop himself from worrying about Patton while he was at Kindergarten.  When he was awake, he was too acutely aware of the fact that Patton wasn’t there, and he would think about what was happening at the Kindergarten.  Were the kids nice? Were they making fun of Patton? Virgil wished he was there so that he could stop them if that was the case, but he knew he wasn’t intimidating enough to do that.  Maybe if he got mad enough, but he probably would just be scared like usual. Virgil didn’t like thinking about those outcomes, the ones that usually ended with Patton crying and Virgil being useless.  So he hugged Patton goodbye, went back up to the attic, and caught up on sleep that seemed to evade him during the night on far too many occasions. 

 

But every day, as soon as Patton burst excitedly into the house, he woke up feeling strangely warm, his mouth curling into a smile as he bounded down the stairs to meet his brother.  Every day was a reminder that his worries were unfounded. Patton loved Kindergarten, and Virgil loved seeing him happy. Not to mention, every day after Patton got home, they sat at the dining table and Patton showed Virgil how to do the worksheets he got.  He never once forgot to keep his promise, making sure that Virgil learned too. 

 

Virgil really loved learning how to write, but he didn’t get much of a chance.  He didn’t want to take the worksheets from Patton, since they were his and a lot of them he would have to show his teacher, and so a lot of his learning was just watching Patton intently as he traced the letters and formed simple words.  He considered sneaking paper and pencils up to the attic to practice by himself and show Patton once he got good at it, but he kept forgetting. The few times he  _ had  _ made his own letters, though, he did pretty well.  Virgil did like being good at things. Virgil also hated math, even though it wasn’t very involved.  It was just annoying, and he liked that Patton was annoyed by it too because they could complain together.  One day, Patton was explaining to Virgil how to form the later letters of the alphabet, tracing them for him and showing him what to do, as their parents watched from the doorway.

 

“Well, at least he’ll know it better now,” Momma muttered, too low for either of the boys to hear.  Daddy nodded.

 

“Everyone knows that teaching something makes you know it more too.” He looked at Momma with something in his eyes.  “He’s getting older, though.”

 

“I know,” Momma sighed.  “But he’s happy, and this can be helpful.”

 

“If you’re sure.”

 

* * *

 

“Virge?” Patton whispered, the moonlight shining through the window into the attic.  “You awake?”

 

“Mhm,” Virgil mumbled.  “Why?”

 

“Momma says I gotta see a doctor.”

 

“What?” Virgil felt something seize his breath, as his eyes shot open to face Patton.  Patton instantly realized what he said and what it sounded like, reaching out to reassure Virgil.

 

“She says it’s fine!  Somethin’ ‘bout my eyes.”

 

“Your eyes?”

“Yeah.  Momma said so when I told her things look blurry.”

 

“Is that bad?  Are you okay?” Virgil stared into Patton’s eyes, trying to see something wrong with them.  They seemed fine, but Virgil didn’t know anything about eyes, what if something was seriously wrong?  Was Patton going blind? Was Patton going to lose his eyes? Patton took Virgil’s hands in his own and laughed a little.

 

“Yeah, yeah, Momma said I’m fine.  Don’t worry, Virge,” He said. Virgil sighed, burying his head in the pillow as Patton’s words slowly helped his breathing even out.  

 

“Okay.  If you’re sure.”

 

The next day, Patton was late coming home from school, and Virgil was worried.  But around an hour and a half later, Patton came bounding into the house, eyes bright and excited, rambling to both Momma and then Virgil about his new glasses that were gonna be coming.  Virgil was happy that Patton was okay, and joined him in saying how cool he was gonna look with the glasses, Patton showing Virgil a picture of them happily. 

 

They both missed the look exchanged by their parents.  

 

* * *

 

Patton’s Kindergarten graduation was a huge affair in the Sanders household.  Patton was all dressed up in a small blue suit, his hair neatly combed and his new glasses cleaned.  He was beaming, but the figure off to the side made him sad. Patton had asked his parents to get Virgil a suit for the ceremony too, but they had apparently looked at him with his dark hoodie (that Patton really couldn’t remember him getting but he probably stole it from Patton) and his hopeful expression and thought that he was dressed well enough.  

Virgil didn’t think that their parents didn’t like him, but they did obviously favor Patton.  But he thought it made sense since Patton was  _ actually _ their son, but it didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt sometimes.  Like the day of the ceremony, when they had said ‘of course, Rain can come’ and then almost didn’t leave the door open long enough for Virgil to get in.  Not that they forgot about him, since Patton held the door for him, but they seemingly instinctively closed the door behind Patton after he was in the car seat.  

 

The graduation was a standing affair, with the parents and siblings of the graduates watching each Kindergartener hug their teacher and then run over to hug their parents.  Virgil hated crowds, and so he was perfectly happy hiding off against the wall and watching Patton from a slightly further distance than their parents. It felt like the room was suffocating, with seemingly far too many people for the number of graduates, but he was there for Patton and so he stayed to the side and pushed through it.  He couldn’t help the proud smile on his face as Patton beamed and wrapped his arms around the woman on the makeshift stage, making her laugh affectionately at his enthusiasm. Patton’s cheerfulness was infectious. As Patton climbed down off the stage, he saw Virgil, his eyes brightening and smile widening, but Virgil knew that their parents were waiting for him.  And anyway, if Patton hugged him then and there, Virgil would become the center of attention, as it seemed like everyone was watching Patton skip across the linoleum. So Virgil smiled and nodded towards their parents. Patton paused, frowned only slightly, and then at Virgil’s affirming nod, smiled softly back and changed direction. 

 

Virgil loved Patton, there was no doubt about it.  He still couldn’t remember anything before that night in the attic, the night of the storm, and he sometimes worried about what it meant.  Were his real parents coming to find him? Well, not  _ real  _ parents, because Virgil did love Patton’s Momma and Daddy, and they were basically his parents too.   But the people who had left him there, who had somehow gotten him into the attic. Were they looking for him?  Would they take him away from Patton? Or, worse, would they not want him? Honestly, Virgil didn’t know which was worse.  At least if they didn’t want him, he’d have Patton. The other boy never failed to say how much he loved Virgil, and how happy he was that he had been in the attic that night.  He never once brought up the mystery behind it, making Virgil wonder if he even cared at all that there  _ was  _ a mystery, but Virgil could admit that he appreciated the distraction from those thoughts.  

 

Virgil never wanted to leave Patton.  Even that night in the attic, the night that Virgil couldn’t forget if he wanted to, he had instantly trusted the blunt, curious boy with the soft brown eyes.  The boy who hadn’t freaked out that Virgil was somehow there, but had pulled him close and shielded him from the storm outside. From that night on, there was a connection between them that Virgil never wanted to break.  He wanted to be by Patton’s side for the rest of their lives, supporting Patton as he did great things, from the shadows if he had to since they weren’t legally brothers. Apparently. Whatever that meant. Their parents never really explained that.  Virgil wanted to be Patton’s brother officially, but it was probably complicated. He could understand if their parents didn’t want to put in that much effort for Virgil.

Those were the kinds of thoughts that Virgil would voice when they were supposed to be asleep, and Patton would brush away with reassurances and affection.  The other boy seemed to be never-ending in his affection, and Virgil thrived in it. He never wanted to pull away from Patton’s hugs, feeling cold when he did, feeling like if he left Patton’s arms he would never get a chance to hug him again.  

 

Virgil sighed, returning to the present as he saw Patton catch his eye insistently.  They were leaving. He pushed himself off the wall, accidentally knocking over a stool and seeing eyes dart over to look at him curiously.  He flushed, his face burning red as he rushed away, leaving the stool overturned on the ground. He expected someone to call after him, make him pick it up, but he reached Patton’s side without incident and grabbed his hand for comfort.  Patton squeezed his hand, smiling softly at him in that way that never failed to make Virgil feel loved. It reminded him that he wasn’t alone, no matter how it might feel when he was separated temporarily from Patton. It reminded him that little things like stools didn’t matter.  What mattered was that Virgil was  _ there _ , with Patton, with his family, and nothing could take that away from him.  Nothing could break their makeshift family. 

 

Patton reminded him of that bond every day, with small smiles and affectionate words, never letting Virgil be left out of a conversation.  Patton told him that Virgil was the best brother he could have ever asked for and that no one could even try to change that. 

 

Then Patton and Virgil turned eleven.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh also, i dont post really any sanders sides stuff, but if you want, you can find me on tumblr at @rorzeebubbles! Im always down to chat about fandom stuff if you want, i dont bite :))
> 
> I hope you liked it!


	3. The Forgotten Past, Come Back to Haunt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Answers are revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the early morning sadness, but hey! have some answers :) hope you enjoy

The years of Patton’s elementary school experience went as normal as they could with Virgil stuck at home.  They fell into an easy routine. They would both wake up, Virgil getting much less sleep, Virgil would help Patton get ready and see him off with Momma and then go back upstairs to go back to sleep, Patton would come home and spend the next half hour recounting his day to Virgil, then they would do Patton’s homework together.  It got progressively harder for both of them, and Patton spent longer explaining the material to Virgil so that he understood it clearly and so the two of them could better finish the work.

 

It was a good system, and Virgil loved being taught by Patton, even if sometimes Daddy had to come and correct him.  For not the first time, Virgil wished he could go to school too. He wanted to meet Patton’s school friends that he talked about, the kids he sometimes played with outside of school.  He wanted to be their friend too. But Momma and Daddy didn’t let him go. They told Patton something about it not being good for Virgil to leave since they still couldn’t make him legally their son.  As Virgil grew older though, he began to doubt that. He began to see something that he had blocked out as a younger kid. He was around eight when he saw just how differently he was treated. He had gotten better about speaking up, and yet they still acted like he was mumbling under his breath, waiting for Patton to translate for them.  They didn’t seem to care that Virgil didn’t eat at meals, but had started to question Patton’s regular use of Tupperware. Patton had managed to finagle his way out of that, using his infamous puppy eyes until Momma sighed and told him to make sure to wash out the containers when he was done. 

He knew that Momma and Daddy loved Patton more than him.  It was all too obvious even to an eight year old. But he could never muster the courage to confront them, or even to confide in Patton.  Patton did enough for him already, asking him questions at meals and bringing his food upstairs even if he could still barely stomach any of it.  He didn’t want to cause a rift between Patton and their parents, even if it hurt him as a result. He cared too much about Patton to do that. And as the years kept passing, Virgil kept noticing things, and it kept hurting. But Patton was happy. So Virgil kept quiet. 

 

“Rain!  Sorry, I got distracted on the way home,” Patton wrapped him in a hug, sitting next to him on the couch.  Virgil had woken up at the time that Patton usually got home, making his way downstairs to meet his brother, only to find him not home.  He  _ definitely  _ didn’t start to worry, and that worry definitely didn’t shift to panic only a few minutes before the door pushed open to reveal a panting Patton.  Virgil let himself relax and he leaned into Patton’s side.

 

“What distracted you?” He asked, and Patton flushed.

 

“There was a cat on the sidewalk.”

 

“Pat!  You’re allergic!” Virgil scolded, immediately grabbing Patton’s face and checking for signs of a reaction.  Patton laughed and tried to pry his fingers off, but to no avail.

 

“Rain, c’mon, lemme go!” He giggled, but Virgil frowned.

 

“If I let you go, you go wash your hands.  Get the cat off your skin.” He removed his hands from Patton’s face, the other boy thankfully getting up and going to the kitchen.  Virgil leaned back into the couch cushions, waiting until Patton got back to ask him about the school day. More than happy to oblige, Patton instantly launched into a recount of his escapades, including a detailed discussion of the fantasy game he played at recess.  He was the Just and Fair King, ruling over his subjects and ordering knights to battle, his friends using sticks as swords until the teachers told them to stop and that they had to use their imaginations. Virgil rolled his eyes.

 

“They were right, you know,” he said.  “You could have gotten hurt with those sticks.”

 

“But it was  _ fun _ , Rain!  I know you would have loved it,” Patton shot back with a grin.  Virgil opened his mouth to respond, but he had nothing. Because he probably would have loved it, if just because he got to see Patton so happy.  But he couldn’t play with him and his friends. As his face fell almost imperceptibly, Patton furrowed his eyebrows, putting a hand on Virgil’s shoulder.  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

 

“No, you’re right.  It’s fine. Tell me more about the duel between those two kids?” Virgil tried to change the subject, but Patton had gotten less willing to let Virgil brush off his emotions like that.  He gave Virgil a look, taking his hand away but moving closer on the couch.

 

“No, Rain, it’s not okay.  You know I want you there, right?  I wish you could come with me to school.  I wish that Momma and Daddy could work something out.” He looked at the floor, and Virgil felt bad for what he was about to say.

 

“I don’t think they want me to go,” He mumbled.  Patton’s eyes shot up to meet his.

 

“What?”

 

“I mean, we’re eleven, Pat.  If they can’t make me their son now, when can they?  Am I ever gonna be able to do anything?” He felt a sting in his eyes but refused to cry over this.  He had stopped crying about this over two years ago. Patton frowned. Virgil hated making Patton frown.  

 

“We just have to keep hoping, okay?  That’s why I’m teaching you everything I learn, right?  So that even if you can’t come to school you can still do things when we’re adults?”  He assured Virgil, trying to get him to look up from the couch. But Virgil had lost hope the same day he realized that he would always be the lesser kid.  He was about to respond, to tell Patton that he was worried he would be so far behind everyone else as an adult that he still wouldn’t be able to do anything, when Momma rounded the couch.  

 

“Hey there, are you busy?” She asked, glancing down at the backpack still sitting closed on the floor.  Patton looked up at her as Daddy came to stand next to her. 

 

“A little.  Rain and I were talking about school,” He answered, shifting to face them instead of Virgil.  Momma glanced at Daddy, then sat in the chair across from the couch. She leaned her elbows on her knees, Daddy sitting on the arm of the chair, and she looked at the boys with a serious expression.

 

“Actually, Patton, your Daddy and I wanted to talk to you about Rain,” She started, and immediately Virgil reached his hand out and placed it over Patton’s.  He knew Patton was probably thinking this was good, but Virgil couldn’t help but think the worst. He needed his brother’s comfort right now. 

 

“What about him?” Patton asked, innocently cocking his head, making his glasses seem more crooked than they already were.  Daddy sighed.

 

“We were talking, and we think…” He trailed off, glancing up at Patton and faltering at the bright look in his eyes.  Momma put her hand on his knee, and he cleared his throat. “We think that it might be time for you to...act a little older.”

 

“Honey, we know that this is going to be hard, especially since we’ve let this continue for a long time.  But you’re eleven now. You’ll be entering middle school next year, and that's for big kids,” Momma continued, her voice soft and placating, but not at all working on Virgil, who gripped Patton’s hand.  

 

“W-what are you saying?” Patton seemed to have caught on that this was not a pleasant conversation.  

 

“We’re saying that you need to act a little more your age, Patton.” Daddy gave a small smile that did nothing to quell the nerves of the two boys.  

 

“We’ve talked to other parents, and childhood phases like this one were meant to end a few years ago, at the very latest,” Momma said.  Patton was confused.

 

“But...what does this have to do with Rain?” He asked, his voice barely a whisper.  Momma sighed again. 

 

“Sweetheart, it has everything to do with Rain,” She said.  “Rain is keeping you stuck in a childhood dream, and you need to act like a big kid.”

 

Patton felt something cold grip his heart, and he tightened his grip on Virgil’s hand.  Tears began to sting at his eyes, welling up but not falling. 

 

“No!” He tried not to raise his voice, but he wasn’t very successful.  “Rain belongs here, this is his home! I won’t let you kick him out!”

 

Virgil was looking at Patton with sadness and affection in his eyes, worrying that Patton wouldn’t be able to stop his parents from doing what they had set their mind to.  But their parents just shared another infuriating glance and turned back to look at Patton in pity.  _ Pity _ .  Virgil started to get mad just because of that, but his fear outweighed it still.  

 

“Patton, we can’t kick Rain out,” Momma said quietly, like she was talking down a wild animal.  “I’ve been talking with your Daddy and we think that maybe talking to a specialist about this might help.  I’ve read articles about kids who hold onto imaginary friends for too long, and it—”

 

“—What?” Patton knew Momma and Daddy hated when he interrupted, but he couldn’t help it.  “What are you saying? Rain isn’t  _ imaginary _ !”

 

“Patton, don’t interrupt people, it’s rude,” Momma scolded, and Patton spared a glance at Virgil next to him.  He was staring wide-eyed at their parents, tears threatening to spill, bottom lip shaking. Patton felt a wave of fierce protectiveness wash over him, and he turned back to his parents, ignoring the tears now falling from his own eyes.  

 

“No!  It’s rude for you to say Rain doesn’t exist when he’s sitting right next to me!” Patton was yelling, something he rarely did.  He could tell Momma and Daddy were shocked but they didn’t back down.

 

“Patton, there is no one else on the sofa with you,” Daddy insisted.  “This imaginary friend thing  _ needs  _  to end, you are eleven years old.”

 

“Rain is my  _ brother _ , and he’s as good as your son!” Patton didn’t back down either, feeling Virgil’s eyes shift to stare at him.  

 

“Patton!  Listen to us, alright?” Momma grew stern, hardening her gaze.  “This is a normal part of your childhood that it’s just time to leave behind, alright?  It’s nothing to be ashamed of. You were scared one night and made a friend to comfort you, and you named him Rain to protect you from storms.  We aren’t mad at you. But everyone has to leave things behind as they grow older, and this is one of them. I had an imaginary friend named Rosemary, and I left her behind when I was six.”

 

Patton didn’t know what to say.  He was as silent as Virgil, and that was saying something.  But then he pursed his lips and realized what he wanted to tell them.  With an apologetic glance at Virgil, he faced their parents. 

 

“I didn’t name him Rain!” He insisted.  “He did! That’s not his real name!”

 

“Patton please, we just want what’s best for—”

 

“—His name isn’t Rain, his name is Virgil!”

 

Patton was so focused on his own breathing and on the affection in the look Virgil was giving him that at first, he didn’t notice the silence.  He felt Virgil’s eyes on him, full of love and wordlessly thanking him for fighting for him. Patton just squeezed his hand. He would always fight for Virgil.  It took both of them a few empty seconds to notice the fact that their parents hadn’t said a word. Patton glanced up, nervous, and he froze at the twin expressions of...horror.  But not quite? Daddy had his hand on Momma’s, gripping it tight with white knuckles, his eyes trained on Momma with worry and something else in his eyes. Something sad. Momma had her hand covering her mouth, but she turned to Daddy after a minute and pulled him down to whisper in his ear.  But she was shaken from something, and she wasn’t very quiet.

“ _ Did we leave something lying around?  Did we say anything?”  _ She sounded so nervous, and Patton felt his heartbeat pick up.  What was happening? Daddy shook his head.

 

“ _ We were careful, there’s no way.” _

 

_ “Then where did he hear that name?” _

 

_ “It wasn’t from us.” _

 

_ “We have to tell him.” _

 

They were silent.  Momma took a shuddering breath, turning to Patton with eyes that sparkled with unspilled tears.  

 

“Sweetheart,” She started, her voice shaking with emotion, “Where did you hear that name?”

 

“I told you.”  Patton looked between his parents, the feeling of Virgil’s cold hand in his was the only thing keeping him from panicking.  “He told me. He said he didn’t want you to know his real name because he didn’t know you, so he came up with Rain. If you want to know so badly, you can just ask him!  He’s right here!”

 

Virgil, who was starting to realize something, looked at Patton a little sadly.  Momma made a pained noise, looking at Patton with regret in her eyes.

 

“Patton, honey...we  _ can’t _ .” 

 

“It wasn’t a coincidence, was it?” Daddy muttered, Momma putting her hand on his thigh to comfort him, shaking her head as a tear fell down her cheek.  She seemed unable to speak.

 

“What do you mean?  What’s happening?” Patton had never been more confused in his life.  Momma took a breath and reached out to put her hand on Patton’s knee.  She was crying, and that made Patton tear up again, the sight wrenching his heart like nothing else.  Next to him, Virgil was shaking lightly, tears welling up in his eyes too. 

 

“Patton…” Daddy was struggling to get the words out, his voice sounding thick like he was trying not to cry.  “Virgil was the name of your brother.”

 

He didn’t seem to be finished, but Patton felt the indignation welling up inside him.  “That’s what I told you! He’s—”

 

“—He died when you were infants.”

 

Patton felt the words die in his throat.  He floundered, his eyes stinging and the hand gripping his suddenly seeming insubstantial and colder than normal.  He felt his lip tremble as the tears spilled out of his eyes and tracked down his face, the rest of him staying stock still.  He couldn’t tell if it was fear, shock, or grief. They weren’t saying…

 

“W-what?” Was all he could choke out, the words feeling like vomit he was trying to spit out.  

 

“Pat…” Virgil whispered next to him, his voice as quiet as it was the night they met.  “I think I’m  _ dead _ .”

 

“What?” Patton yelped, looking horrified between his brother and his parents.  Virgil was staring into space, a lost look in his eyes and horror in the twist of his mouth.  Momma lurched forward, grabbing Patton’s other hand in her own and looking at him with something resembling hope.

 

“Is it really him, sweetheart?  Does he look like you?” She practically begged, and Patton could barely see through his tears.  Truthfully, the two of them had gotten into a few conversations over the years of how funny it was that they looked alike.  They had the same eyes, the same hair, they were the same height. They only looked different because they carried themselves differently.  Patton had used those conversations as an excuse to reassure Virgil, saying it was destiny that he was there, that he was somehow destined to be Patton’s brother.  But now, it seemed that Patton’s words had some merit to them.

 

“N-nearly identical,” Patton said, hearing his own voice as if through water.  Muffled, and swimming with emotion. Momma smiled shakily, looking back at Daddy.  Daddy was staring at the space next to Patton, the seat where Virgil was sitting, with something that looked like regret and love and hope wrapped up into one heartbreaking emotion.  

 

“Do you think....?” Momma trailed off, the question too hard to ask.  But Daddy understood.

 

“There’s no other way,” He replied, staring wide-eyed and unabashed.  “Too many details.”

 

“It’s not unheard of, either,” Momma added, more so to herself than the rest of them.  “Auntie did say she saw her brother after he passed.”

 

There was a beat of silence, and then it was as if they both got flooded with relief, relaxing as their tears were no longer due to sorrow.

 

“I can’t believe we have another chance,” Momma breathed, her eyes brightening as they looked back at Patton like he held the key to everything she had ever wanted.  

 

“He’s been here the whole time.” Daddy raised his hand to cover his mouth, as the first of many tears finally escaped his eyes.  

 

“We’re so sorry,” Momma said, squeezing Patton’s hand as she followed his gaze to where Virgil was sitting.  “We’re so sorry we never believed you, that we thought this was all in your imagination. So much that we brushed off as childish actions or coincidence…”

 

“What coincidence?” Patton managed to find his voice, curiosity winning over his urge to drag Virgil up to the attic and forget this whole conversation.  But it was also the love in their parent’s gazes that kept him rooted to the couch. Momma glanced at Daddy before sighing.

 

“You remember the night you say R- _ Virgil _ appeared?” She asked, and Patton nodded.  “It was...that night was a year to the day that he died.  The day we thought we lost him for good.”

 

“We were worried about you, Patton.  We knew you never got the chance to know him and that you didn’t even remember him, but we were worried that his absence, the lack of a twin, would do...something,” Daddy added.  “So when you told us about your new friend, someone we couldn’t see who appeared in your room and you wanted to stay, someone who you could talk to like a sibling...we thought it was a great idea.”

 

“Where is he sitting?  There?” Momma gestured to Patton’s left, and he nodded mutely, still processing everything they had said.  Momma smiled again, guilt taking control of her features as she turned to Virgil. “Virgil, honey. I’m so sorry.   _ We’re _ so sorry.  We’ve been treating you like you didn’t exist, it’s been nine years and you must have been so confused.  I don’t know how to continue, I don’t know how to parent a child I can’t see, but I want you to know that if I knew it was you...I would never have let you go a day without knowing I love you.”

 

Patton’s hand felt lukewarm, a sign that Virgil had let go, and he glanced over to see the other boy — his  _ brother _ , his actual twin brother — covering his mouth with his hands as tears fell from his eyes.  

 

“We understand if you can’t forgive us for practically ignoring you for years, Virgil,” Daddy said, joining Momma as they sat on the floor in front of Virgil, looking up at the boy they couldn’t see with hope in their eyes.  “But we miss you. We’ve missed you for ten years, since the day you left us, however unknowingly temporary that was. And I know that I wish I hadn’t spent these last few years worrying about Patton’s imaginary friend because I had nothing to worry about.  You belong with him, Virgil, and your mother and I would love it if you would give us a second chance at being your parents. We didn’t really get long enough to do a good job the first time.”

 

There was silence as Patton watched Virgil look between Momma and Daddy with something unreadable in his face.  He knew that Virgil had worried about what they thought of him for years. Virgil was scared they didn’t want him, that they wished he would stop pretending to belong in their house.  Virgil was scared they would make him leave Patton. Now here they were, saying that they loved him and wanted him to stay. No,  _ begging _ him to stay.  

 

Patton saw the instant the light appeared in Virgil’s dark brown eyes, and he felt his heart soar at the sight of it.  Virgil finally removed his hands from his mouth, revealing a tear-stained smile that seemed still hesitant, still worried that this would be ripped away from him.  But he got off the couch, kneeling in front of his parents and just looking at them as they kept watching the place that he  _ was _ .  He reached out a hand and placed it on his Daddy’s cheek.  Daddy jumped a little bit, startled at the chill that Patton assumed he had felt, before glancing curiously at Patton.  Patton smiled back, his happiness and affection refusing to be kept at bay. Daddy looked right in front of him, where Virgil was now resting his hand on his Momma’s hand, and a relieved smile split his face.  

 

‘Welcome home, Virgil,” He said, voice breathless and joyful.  “We missed you so much.”

 

Patton got off the couch then, joining the rest of his family on the floor and wrapping his arms around his newfound brother from behind.  Virgil relaxed instantly, taking his hand off their Momma’s, who threaded her fingers in the carpet as soon as the contact was lost. Patton nestled his head into the crook of Virgil’s neck, not caring about how odd this must look since their parents couldn’t see Virgil.  He felt a smile on his face, and he looked up to see a matching one on Virgil’s. That made his own smile widen. Making Virgil smile like that made anything better. 

 

“I told you that you belonged, Virge.”

 

Patton didn’t start his homework until after dinner that night, but he couldn't care any less.  He lost sleep but gained a twin brother, and he wouldn’t trade that for the world. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed!!! i promise the rest of the gang is gonna show up soon, but at least now yall know whats up with poor virge.


	4. Sick of the Sidelines

After that conversation with their parents, things started to become a lot clearer for Patton.  It actually explained quite a lot. Suddenly, the mystery of why their parents didn’t give Virgil the same affection was no longer confusing, and neither was the fact that they still relied on Patton to speak for Virgil.  The hoodie he had that Patton never remembered getting, and how it never seemed to get dirty or need replacing. Virgil’s seemingly nonexistent appetite and his penchant for staying awake at night made sense. All of those red flags had been brushed off by a naive child, but now that his eyes had been opened, it was all so clear to everyone.  Everything seemed to have fallen into place, and their parents were taking it all in stride. Patton took a little longer to adjust to the fact that he had a dead brother, since from his perspective Virgil had barely been gone at all, but he soon realized that the only thing he had to care about was the fact that he had an awesome brother who just couldn’t be seen by anyone else.  Virgil adjusted to the knowledge that he was dead, which was a shift for everyone, but with all the things that suddenly made sense and with Patton staying as constant a presence for him, he found that it wasn’t that hard. It was new, and he felt that it  _ should  _ be bad, but how could it be that bad if his brother could still be there for him?

 

After that, though, their family worked together to make things easier and better for everyone.  Virgil still stayed home while Patton went to middle school, but now he knew the real reason, and he wasn’t as alone anymore.  Especially as he and their parents worked out ways to deal with his...situation. It had been a learning curve, but they were fully open to figuring out ways to work around the fact that one of their sons was a ghost.  

 

Like right now.  Patton was at school, and Virgil was wandering the lower floor, having stopped spending the hours that Patton was gone just sleeping and waiting.  Momma was in the kitchen, and so he made his way in there, stopping briefly to shift a carefully hung wind chime in the doorway. At the noise, Momma turned from where she was washing dishes, a smile on her face.  

 

“Hey, Virge.  Having a good day?” She asked, and Virgil walked over to knock twice on the dining table.  They had figured out that while only Patton could see, hear, and touch Virgil, the boy still had some ways of interacting.  He could touch objects, it just took a lot of energy to move them. It was something that had struck him as odd years ago, but he had brushed off as just finding everything really difficult to do, which may have caused some self-esteem issues over the years but he was working on that.  Patton was helping. They had also realized that if he touched his parents, they just felt a chill wherever he touched them, not a physical being like Patton did.  

 

So their system mostly entailed hanging a bunch of wind chimes around the house so that they would always know when Virgil entered the room, trying to only ask him yes/no questions with a one knock meaning no and two meaning yes system, and having Patton help Virgil train himself to hold physical objects for longer, so that he could write to them using a whiteboard they bought him.  The biggest obstacle was still the physical contact, but now that Virgil knew the real reason, it was easier to accept it and easier for Patton to fill in the gaps where he could.  

 

“Any chance you’re feeling up to helping me with dishes?  I know it’s a lot of energy for you, but I could use a drying buddy,” Momma asked, throwing a sly grin over her shoulder.  Virgil hesitated, thinking over the options. If he didn’t help, he’d be up for maybe playing a game with the family later, being able to move his own piece around the board and not having to rely so much on Patton.  But he wouldn’t have the stereotypical bonding with his mom through cleaning dishes. If he  _ did  _ help her, he would get that time with her, but he would be absolutely drained throughout dinner and maybe even have to skip playing a game.  

 

At his hesitation, Momma chuckled a little.  “Just so you know, Daddy’s got work to do tonight, so you and Patton are on your own for entertainment after dinner.”

 

Oh.  In that case, Virgil only took another few seconds of deliberation before knocking twice on the table.  Momma gave a smile and set a towel down next to the sink. Virgil felt the strain as soon as he lifted the towel and the bowl that Momma had just washed, but Patton had been making him lift heavier and heavier objects, which meant that it was a lot easier than it would have been as Virgil slowly but surely dried the plates and bowls.  He still got self-conscious when he thought about how weird it must be for his family to watch him interact with the world, since to all but Patton it just looked like things were floating. But they were great about curbing any shock they might feel when Virgil moved something, and Virgil really appreciated that.  

 

Momma started humming lightly as she worked and Virgil joined in, feeling like a part of something even though she had no way of knowing he was adding the harmony part to her song.  

 

When they were done, Momma invited him to sit with her and watch her bad reality TV shows, which Virgil gladly took her up on.  It was his guilty pleasure because those shows were a train wreck in the best of ways. Daddy hated them, and Patton didn't understand why they liked them, but it was one of the main ways that Virgil had bonded with his mom.  

 

“Virgil!  Could you come here for a sec, kiddo?” Daddy called from his study, and Virgil sighed before quickly leaning over to knock loudly on the end table by the couch so that Daddy knew he had heard.  One upside of this was that Virgil now knew what every surface of their house sounded like when hit with his knuckles. Riveting knowledge that would definitely be something he needed to know for the future.  

 

When he got to the study, he rang the wind chime and made sure to shift a pen on the desk so that Daddy knew where he was standing.  Daddy, who was filling out some sort of spreadsheet on the computer, looked up at where he was with a bit of an exasperated look.

 

“Ah, there you are.  I just wanted to ask you if you had at all reconsidered your stance vis a vis high school?” He asked.  At the resounding singular knock that answered him, he sighed. “That’s what I thought. Virgil, who knows what high school will bring.  It would be your first time even leaving the house for an extended period of time, where you wouldn’t be around us all and where Patton would find it a lot harder to talk to you at all.  I won’t forbid you from going, because we have kept you from a lot of other things inadvertently, but I still think you should have a serious talk with Patton about it.”

 

Virgil, knowing he wouldn’t be able to get this point across without waiting for Patton to get home, walked around the back of his dad’s office chair and took control of the computer mouse.  Daddy only questioned what he was doing for a brief second before he saw Virgil open the notepad on the screen. Even typing took energy from Virgil since he had to press down the keys, but he could always just go sleep through dinner anyway.  Food was more of an enjoyment thing for him, he didn’t need it like the rest of his family and most of the time the energy strain of trying to eat just wasn’t worth it. So if he had to skip dinner tonight, all he would miss was the story of Patton’s day, and as much as he didn’t really want to miss that, it was a sacrifice he was willing to make.  This was a conversation he needed to have.

 

_ Pat wants me there,  _ he wrote.   _ You said high school is a lot.  I need to keep Patton safe. _

 

“Virge...I’m not trying to bring you down here, son, but I think Patton can protect himself.” Daddy stopped there, but Virgil heard the unspoken words.  Virgil was a ghost, how could he protect Patton better than Patton himself? Virgil appreciated the fact that the words  _ were _ unspoken, but he still disagreed.  

 

_ But he’s oblivious.  I love him, but he notices nothing.  I notice everything. Do you know how worried I’ve been every single day since he went to kindergarten?  _  Virgil took a glance at his dad as he read the words.  His face had taken on a small frown, but the guilt that was there made it clear that the frown wasn’t directed at Virgil.  He knew how much his parents were trying to make up for the years that they thought he was imaginary, but honestly, he was fine.  He just loved having a real family now, or as close as they could get under the circumstances. He didn’t blame his parents for anything.  If anything, he was annoyed at himself for somehow going ten years without doing something to make their parents even the tiniest bit suspicious of ghostly activity.  How hard would it have been for him to carry a plate or something? But in the end, he knew he was lucky now to have them like he did, and so he didn’t blame them at all.  

 

“I know.  Well, no I don’t, but I know you and so I can imagine.  But wouldn’t you be more worried if you went with him?” Daddy asked.  “I just don’t want you to stress yourself out more, and that environment is stressful for, well, everyone.”

 

_ Daddy, I’m not changing my mind on this.  I know I’m gonna be nervous whether I go with him or stay behind.  I might as well be with my brother.  _ Virgil tapped twice on the desk as a sign that he was done.  He was starting to notice how hard it was to press down the keys, or lift his arms in general.  Daddy sighed, but nodded.

 

“I get it.  Just don’t push yourself, okay kiddo?  You’re still adjusting to everything, just like the rest of us, and I don’t want you to get hurt,” He said.  Virgil looked down at his own hands.

 

“I don’t know if I  _ can _ get hurt,” He mumbled, knowing that wasn’t what his dad meant.  He set a hand on his dad’s shoulder as an answer, getting a small smile in response.  

 

“Okay.  And I assume you’re coming next week to Patton’s ceremony?”

 

Two knocks.

 

“I figured.  You can go back to Momma now, I know you two were watching those awful shows.  Are you gonna be at dinner?”

 

After a second of thought, Virgil drummed his fingers on the wood surface of the desk, the answer that they had decided would mean he didn’t know.  Daddy nodded.

 

“I hope you’ll be there, but I get if you need to rest.  In case you aren’t there, I hope you sleep well,” he said.  Virgil absent-mindedly tapped the desk twice again before leaving the room, jostling the chime lightly as he did.  

 

He didn’t make it to dinner, but he did manage to write Patton a message on his whiteboard before passing out in the bed, exhausted before 4 pm.  

 

* * *

 

“Virge!  Virge, wake  _ up _ , come on!” Patton was practically jumping on the bed until Virgil’s hand shot out from under the covers and grabbed his ankle in his icy grip.  

 

“ _ What _ , Patton?” He grumbled, only shoving his head out from the pile of blankets when Patton groaned loudly.

 

“Of course you forgot, you’ve been sleeping for like, twelve hours now.  It’s Friday! It’s my last day of middle school!” He insisted, and Virgil was suddenly awake.  The ceremony! Virgil was going to see Patton’s middle school for the first and only time! He was still tired as he pushed himself out of the bed, but he knew it was because he had spent the previous day writing a long, inspirational note for Patton on the whiteboard.  A note that he saw still on the board, having been outlined in light blue hearts while Virgil was asleep.

 

“How long until we leave?” He asked, sitting up and stretching.  

 

“An hour!  I know you don’t have to get ready, but I need help with my tie and you’re weirdly good at that,” Patton said, finally getting off the bed and letting Virgil lie back on the mattress without him jostling it.  He raised his eyebrows at his brother.

 

“So why aren’t you dressed, then?”

 

At Patton’s blush, he felt a sly grin on his face.  

 

“You fell back asleep, didn’t you?” He teased, watching as Patton stuck his fingers in his ears to block him out.  “I’m shocked at you, Patton, scolding  _ me  _ for sleeping when you woke up at the same time?  Tsk, you’re going into high school, young man.”

 

“Alright, alright, I slept in.  You can’t attack me for sleeping, you practically live in the bed,” Patton stuck out his tongue, walking to the other side of the bed and dragging Virgil out from under the blankets, ignoring his loud protests.  “No one can save you from the Patton, Virge, it’s time to wake up.”

 

“I  _ hate _ being incorporeal,” Virgil grumbled as he stumbled to his feet with Patton’s help.  

 

True to schedule, the whole family was shuffling out to the car an hour later, with Patton’s tie in perfect condition thanks to Virgil.  The drive to the school was quiet, with everyone still a little tired, and once they got there Virgil felt himself grow excited. He knew he’d be in a crowd and of course, he still hated that, but now he knew that the crowd couldn’t see him.  So he wouldn’t be bothered by anyone. An odd upside to being dead.  

 

“Virge, try to stay close, but if you wander around then be at the car by noon, alright?” Momma whispered, leaning down as they piled out of the car.  Virgil tugged twice on her sleeve as an answer, before leaning over to Patton.

 

“If you leave without me, I will follow you for a week and your hair will  _ never _ be well-combed.  I will make sure of it,” He said, causing Patton to snort a laugh.

 

“Darn, there go all my plans,” He shot back, only stopping his giggling when they got closer to the school.  He shot Virgil an apologetic look, but Virgil waved him off. He knew Patton couldn’t talk to him in public. He thought it would bother him, but the knowledge that his brother knew he was there and  _ wanted  _ to talk to him made it a little easier to accept that he couldn’t.  

 

As his family filed into the auditorium, after giving Patton one final discreet squeeze of his hand, Virgil noticed something odd.  Families were sitting down, filling up the seats as they waited for the ceremony to start, and that was all normal. But just like the graduation ceremony he remembered from Patton’s Kindergarten, and even elementary school now that he thought about it, there were  _ so _ many people.  The seats were almost full, there were five minutes before it started, and people were still standing in the aisles.  Just like Virgil was doing.  

 

The lights dimmed, and Virgil turned his attention to the stage.  There were tables set up with certificates for the students, and pots of multi-colored flowers scattered all across the stage.  The Principal stepped up to the microphone and started to speak, talking about the ceremony, and Virgil tried to pay attention. But Patton wouldn’t be called for a while, and the world seemed to have other plans for Virgil than his watching of kids that were not his brother.

 

“Oh, sweetie…” A voice sighed from behind him, sounding sad.  Virgil didn’t pay it too much mind, at least not until the hand tapped his shoulder.  He whirled around, feeling fear grip his mind and his eyes widen and his feet prepare to flee.  He had long since gotten used to the fact that his heart didn’t beat, a fact that took him far too long to notice, but it still felt weird at times like this when it should be beating out of control.  There was a woman behind him. An old woman, with wrinkles on her face and curly silver hair, but with kind blue eyes. She was watching Virgil, really  _ looking  _ at him, with something resembling sympathy.  It wasn't pitying, though, and Virgil was thankful for that.  

 

“I- you can...you can see me?” He whispered back, the sight of the old woman making some of his fear dissipate.  She seemed nice, and the mere fact that she could see Virgil made him feel  _ light _ .  The woman chuckled, but the sound was sad.  It wasn’t until she looked at him again, looking at him like he wasn’t seeing the whole picture, that he realized what was actually going on.  “...Oh.”

 

“So I was right,” The woman sounded sad as she spoke, moving closer to Virgil.  “You’re so  _ young _ .  You should not be stuck like this.”

 

“It’s not that bad,” Virgil said, and he realized that he meant it.  At least he had Patton, at least he had his family. “I’ve had time to get used to it.”

 

“Still.  You do not deserve this, child.  Who are you here for today? A younger sibling?” The woman asked.  Virgil, relishing in being able to talk to another person, didn’t feel scared anymore.  That was a first for him. It felt good.  

 

“Not younger.  He’s my twin,” He answered, and he could practically see the gears turning in the woman’s head.  

 

“But you look…” She trailed off.  “If it is not too personal for me to ask, when did you...pass?”

 

“Years ago.  I was a baby,” Virgil answered, seeing the woman frown in sympathy for him. 

 

“And yet you aged...but you said that your brother is your twin?  That could be the reason. I have only been confined to the spirit plane for a few months now, but I have met many others with a lot more information,” The woman explained.  “And some spirits can find themselves aging, depending on their unfinished business.”

 

“Unfinished business?” Virgil asked.  The woman nodded.

“The reason you came back to the spirit plane rather than moving on.  There is something keeping you here. For me,” She said, “it is my granddaughter.  She was so distraught when I fell sick, she said that I had better make it to her graduation.  Even though she might not know it, I refuse to break my promise.”

 

Virgil didn’t say anything, but he had a pretty good idea as to what his unfinished business was.  And the good news was, it was impossible for him to finish on his own. Which meant he’d be around for a while. 

 

“What’s her name?” He asked.  The woman looked up at the stage with a wistful expression.

 

“Vivian.  Vivian Miller,” She answered.  “What about you?”

 

“Oh, um, my brother is Patton Sanders,” He replied.  He still had that worry about people knowing his name, and he hoped that this woman wouldn’t push it.  Thankfully, she didn’t, and she just nodded as the names of students kept being called in the background.  

 

“So…” Virgil struggled to ask the question.  “Are ghosts, like, common? I thought I was...weird.”

 

The woman chuckled.  “No, dear, spirits are rather common.  Most aren’t around for very long, but sometimes your business takes a little more time to finish.  Just look around us, at how many find themselves here either for or because of their business.” She motioned to the other people in the aisles, before frowning and turning to Virgil with a serious expression.  “But, not all of us are nice, you must understand. When a spirit grows tired, or angry, or becomes unable to complete their business and therefore are stuck in this plane forever...they grow restless. Vengeful.  They become stronger and can influence the mortal plane with less difficulty. But they lose who they are over time. And the worst part is that they still look normal. I do not want to scare you, but you are young and I do not want you to get hurt, or worse, find yourself falling into that mindset.”

 

“Can they hurt the living?  Or just other spirits?” Virgil had to ask.  Because if other ghosts posed a danger to Patton, then that was a threat that only Virgil could fight against.  At the woman’s look, he had his answer. And he quickly turned his head to look for Patton in the crowd of waiting kids, making sure that he wasn’t near any of the spirits.  Thankfully, he was enveloped in the throng of kids, safe from any ghostly harm.  

 

“Don’t worry yourself too much over that, dear.  This is not a time for such dark talk,” The woman placed a hand on Virgil’s shoulder and lightly turned him towards the stage.  He obliged, noticing with slight annoyance that they were only on the last names starting with ‘C’. This was going to be a while.  

 

It took about a half hour for the name Vivian Miller to be called, and Virgil saw the woman behind him stand up a little straighter as she heard it.  The girl crossing the stage was happy, but not exuding energy like Patton usually did. She shook the Principal’s hand and got her certificate, brushing dirty blonde hair behind her shoulder as she turned to smile for a picture.  Virgil knew that smile. It was the smile he always gave when he didn’t want Patton asking him what was wrong, back before he knew what he was when he was feeling particularly alone. Virgil glanced back at the woman to see that she was smiling with tears in her eyes.  He smiled at her a little, and as Vivian made her way to the other side of the stage and down the stairs, the woman closed her eyes with a content sigh.  

 

Then she began to glow.  Softly at first, but then brighter, gathering the attention of some of the other nearby spirits.  Then she dissolved in front of Virgil, scattering into soft golden dust that swirled against the dirty auditorium floor before melting away.  The woman was gone.  

 

“Good for her,” A ghostly man across the aisle said, a slightly envious look on his face as he met Virgil’s eyes.  He gained the same sort of shocked sympathy that the woman had, after seeing how young he was, but he merely nodded in solidarity before turning back to the stage.  Virgil stared for a second longer, stunned into silence by even more contact with someone that wasn’t Patton. Was this what the world would be like if he left the house more?  Could he even handle that?  

 

Probably not.  Especially with the knowledge that some spirits could harm Patton.  But all the more reason for Virgil to go with him to high school. Who knew how many vengeful spirits were hanging around a place like that?  It was a miracle nothing had happened over the years that Virgil stayed in the house.  

 

Patton skipped across the stage with his trademark enthusiasm, beaming as he posed for a picture with the Principal.  Virgil watched with a fond smile on his face, having turned his back on the rest of the auditorium so that he could avoid seeing if any other spirits passed on in the middle of the ceremony.  Sure, to them, it would be a good thing. Wrapping up their loose ends and finding peace. But peace wasn’t exactly Virgil’s M.O. He couldn’t imagine moving on, leaving Patton so soon, leaving him  _ at all _ .  He was fine being incorporeal for years, decades, however long it took for him to live as full a ‘life’ as he could with Patton.  He wasn’t going anywhere.  

 

After the ceremony, he went up behind Patton and tapped a pattern on his shoulder, one that they had made for when Virgil needed to talk.  Patton gave a small, inconspicuous nod, and slowly drifted away from the crowd of students finding their parents.  

 

“I need you to find someone,” Virgil said.  Patton frowned in confusion, furrowing his eyebrows.

 

“What?  Who? Why?”  He asked. Virgil sighed.

 

“Just...her name is Vivian Miller, do you know her?”

 

“Vivian?  Of course I do!  I mean, I barely know her, but I definitely know who she is.  She was in my science class, I made her a cupcake for her birthday, but we don’t talk too much because that’s the only class we share.  I know she likes science, though, she was the only one to ace almost all of our tests, and I think she stayed after for extra lessons.” Patton was grinning by the end of his speech, and Virgil rolled his eyes.  Of course Patton baked a cupcake for a girl he ‘barely knew’. That was just who he was.  

 

“I need you to tell her something, and it’s gonna sound weird as hell to—”

 

“—Virge, language—”

 

“—weird as  _ heck _ to her, but I think she needs to hear it.” Virgil watched Patton’s reaction, worried that he would say no.  He knew that both of them didn’t want anyone to think Patton was crazy for talking to Virgil, or for believing in ghosts in general, but he didn’t want that girl to have to keep smiling that forced, lonely smile because she thought her grandmother didn’t make it to her graduation.  But Patton’s face softened, and he smiled at Virgil.

 

“What is it?”

 

“Tell her that her grandmother kept her promise.  Vivian might not have known it, but she was there.  And she was really proud,” Virgil said. Patton glanced around before pulling Virgil into a quick hug.

 

“Gotcha.  And if she thinks I’m insane, I’ll just tell her that my twin brother who happens to be a ghost told me this,” He said, and Virgil could hear the teasing grin on his face.  

 

“Tell her that, and I’ll visit you in your straitjacket,” Virgil teased back.  

 

“Yeah, yeah, go haunt someone else why don’t you.” Patton pulled away and rolled his eyes, but the smile on his face gave him away.  Then he peered over the heads of the students until his eyes lit up. “Found her! I’ll see you at the car and I’ll tell you what happened, ‘k Virge?”

 

“I’m not getting any younger here,” He called out as Patton strode off into the crowd.  He kept a watchful eye out as Patton made his way across the packed hallway, eyeing anyone who looked to be a spirit with suspicion.  There certainly seemed to be fewer spirits than there were at the start of the day. Virgil wasn’t complaining, it made the whole experience much less stressful.  It was ironic, he was more comfortable surrounded by the living,  _ because  _ of the fact that they couldn’t see him.  It was comforting in a way, like a security measure.  

 

The sun was edging towards noon when Virgil wandered out of the building and towards the car, following Patton at a distance since he was walking with some other kids.  He knew that their parents would be annoyed if they were late, and so Virgil had found Patton and motioned insistently for him to start walking towards the car. He knew it wasn’t that big of a deal, but their parents wanted them back by noon, and Virgil was going to make sure they were  _ back by noon _ .  So he didn’t stop until Patton started heading his way, his friends following with him until he reached the parking lot.  But as soon as Patton said goodbye to his friends and split off on his own to head to their car, he motioned with his hand for Virgil to speed up and walk with him.  

 

“Virgil, what happened back there?” He asked as soon as Virgil slowed down next to him.  “How did you know that about her grandma?”

 

“She was there.  In the ceremony. We talked,” Virgil explained, shrugging.  Patton’s eyes grew wide, ignoring the nonchalance of Virgil’s statement.

 

“What?  There were other ghosts there?” He turned to Virgil in shock.  Virgil steered him forward again, not wanting to make their parents more annoyed nor wanting people to see Patton staring in surprise at what looked like nothing to them.  

 

“Everywhere.  I never noticed they were ghosts until Vivian’s grandma talked to me and told me about them.  About ghosts in general,” He said. He had decided to wait to tell Patton about the whole vengeful spirit thing since Patton would worry more about Virgil than himself.  And Virgil was supposed to be the worrier, the one who kept Patton safe, not the other way around. “So anyway, what did Vivian say?”

 

“She nearly started crying!  She looked at me like I was some sort of hero, calling me a ‘medium’, and saying that she thought she felt her grandma there but wasn’t sure…” Patton trailed off.  “I guess I sort of  _ am  _ a medium, huh?  If only just for you...”

 

“Way to make a boy feel special, Pat,” Virgil jostled Patton with his shoulder as the other boy giggled.  

 

“There you are!” Momma said, annoyed, leaning out the window of the car.  “I was about to call the police!”

 

“Yep, because the police would be able to find your incorporeal son,” Virgil muttered, making Patton have to hold back laughter so Momma didn’t think he was laughing at her.  Virgil grinned, there were perks to their parents not hearing him.  

 

“Sorry Momma, I got caught up talking to friends,” Patton apologized, opening the side door for Virgil and then climbing in himself.  Momma sighed.

 

“It’s okay, I know today was very emotional for everyone.  Are we all good to go?”

 

Virgil knocked on the side of the car, letting her know that he was in the car and ready.  He could have waited for Patton to answer for him, but he liked reminding himself that his ghostly status didn’t mean he had to act as Patton’s shadow as he had for years earlier.  

 

It wasn’t until later that day that Virgil told Patton about the whole ‘unfinished business’ deal, sharing his theories on his own business.  And it wasn’t until later in the summer that he told him about the vengeful spirits. Throughout the summer he spent his time going out with Patton more, and while he found himself roped into a conversation with some of the more energetic spirits, he mostly focused on training his death glare to keep them all far away from Patton.  He did manage to make one...friend? A ghost boy that hung around the park. But Virgil spent two days talking to him as he helped the boy recall his memories and remember his family. Then he walked the boy to his old house, and as soon as a middle-aged woman left the house to water the window-boxes, the boy gave Virgil a hug and dissolved into golden dust.  

 

But he tried to keep his distance from most ghosts.  The boy was an exception. For the most part, it worked, and he also managed to keep the spirits a healthy distance from Patton.  But far too soon, the summer was over and Virgil started to stress about what the next year would bring for Patton. His brother was excited as always, and their parents were encouraging Virgil to listen to the lectures too and learn on his own, ignoring the possible dangers lurking at the school that threatened their living son.  All too soon, Virgil was watching Patton happily label his binders and pack his new blue backpack. He sighed.  

 

It was time for Virgil to go to school.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, i have a question for yall. i have the rest of this fic finished. would you want me to keep with one update a week, or move it up to two? 
> 
> Hope you liked this chapter :) next time i promise we see the rest of the gang


	5. The Royal Sight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Gang's All Here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally,,,,,,,my boy roman,,,,,,,

Roman Prince was all too ready for his first day of high school.  He had all his supplies, but most importantly he had his winning smile, which he knew could get even the most stubborn of teachers to love him.  It had served him well for years, and he knew it wouldn’t fail him now. Not to mention, he had a tutor who was obligated by friendship to help him for free.  And also obligated by proximity, seeing as he lived right next door to Roman. He was currently standing outside of said neighbor’s house, barely raising his hand to knock before the door opened.  

 

“You’re late,” Logan said, walking past Roman and closing the door behind him.  Roman rolled his eyes.

 

“By  _ two minutes _ .  We’re already going to be half an hour early, I think you can handle a couple minutes.”

 

“I have a schedule, Roman, I like to stick to it.”

 

“I’ll show you where you can stick your schedule, Logan,” Roman shot back with a grin.  Logan gave him an exasperated glare, lightly smacking him upside the head and making him bark a laugh.  They walked in silence for another minute before Logan turned to him.

 

“So, what are you looking forward to this year?” He asked, knowing exactly what question would get Roman excited.  True to form, Roman lit up, practically clapping his hands together like a seal.

 

“Oh!  I signed up for the beginning theater class, but I’m hoping to talk to the teacher and maybe shift my schedule so that I can get into the intermediate class.  After all, I am quite a good actor, I think I deserve to be in the more advanced class. I already  _ know _ all the basics of acting and performance, I don’t think I need to be retaught them.  But either way, I’m going to audition for every performance this year, I need to get my name out there somehow!” He launched into his rant, eventually trailing a bit behind Logan as he lost himself in his rambling.  Logan kept his eyes forward, but he was still listening. If anyone asked, he would insist that Roman was pursuing a career in what he liked to call ‘professional make-believe’, but in all honesty he liked hearing Roman talk about his acting.  Logan might not understand it, or really care about it at all, but if it made Roman that excited? Well, acting has seen some impressive salaries, and should Roman ‘make it big’ like he wanted to, then he might be able to retire at a relatively young age.  Logan used to put down his ideas for the future due to their supposed financial downfalls, but one day Roman decided to put it in his terms. He pulled up statistics of actors and their financial histories, showing Logan the upsides.  

 

Sure, Logan still questioned if Roman would ‘make it big’ when surrounded by actors all trying to do the same thing, but he would shove that aside and show support to his friend.  And should he turn out to be right, well then he would help Roman find a backup plan.  

 

Roman kept rambling about his theater class, having moved on to talk about the teacher and his success on the stage, when something caught his eye and he stopped walking.  He had drifted, walking slower as he talked, and so he saw as a man who was leaning against the side of a building began to turn his head and look at Logan. He had a question in his green eyes, and desperation written in the tapping of his foot.  Roman sighed, giving a wry smile and going up to the man. This happened far more than he would like it to. He glanced up and down the street before speaking.

 

“Hey, I know he looks smart, but it’s all in the glasses,” he said, stopping the man from trying to reach out and tap Logan’s shoulder.  “What do you need?”

 

“You—” The man looked surprised as he turned to Roman.  “It’s...it’s my dog. I need to find her.”

 

“Alright.  Did she run away, was she taken, what happened?” Roman asked.  He hoped the poor dog wasn’t kidnapped, but maybe if she was then he would get the chance to pull out the cool sword his mom and step-dad had bought him for Christmas.     
  


“She just ran off one day, my wife left the door open accidentally.  I was sick at the time, and I couldn’t help look, and now…” The man trailed off.  Roman frowned.

 

“How long has she been missing?” Roman was aware that Logan had stopped walking to wait for him, but he prided himself on helping people when he could and he knew that Logan understood that.  He might not understand other things, but he knew all too well that Roman had a, as he put it, ‘hero complex’. He just liked to try and make people a little happier, sue him.  

 

“Oh...f-four months…” The man looked sad, and Roman hastily smiled at him, ignoring the slight pit in his stomach at the answer.

 

“W-well I’m sure she’s just fine!” He said.  “I have to go to school, but what’s her name?  I can do some searching while I’m there, and then I can meet you here afterward and tell you what I found.  Does that sound good?” 

 

“Yes!” The man practically melted at the relief on his face.  “Yes, thank you so much. Her name is Nellie, she’s a beagle. I’ve been so worried about her, I can’t thank you enough.”

 

“You can thank me by being here at 3.  Hopefully, I’ll have some news on Nellie.” Roman gave the man another smile, this one a little softer as the man seemed so full of hope.  The man reached out as though to hug him, before hesitating and retracting his arms. He just nodded, slightly awkward now, and gave Roman another thankful smile.  Roman nodded back, before turning and catching up with Logan. Logan instantly started walking as soon as Roman was next to him again, and it took a minute for him to speak.  When he did, his voice was slightly annoyed.

 

“You know, you’re putting a lot of effort into this ruse, Roman,” He said.  “I would be impressed at your tenacity if it were not so childish.”

 

Roman sighed, running a hand back through his hair.

 

“ _ Exactly _ , Logan.  Why would I put this much effort into tricking you?  It would be a waste of my talents, and not worth—”

 

“—Fifth grade.” Logan cut him off with a sideways glare.  Roman froze, eyes widening. He grimaced as he remembered exactly what Logan was talking about.

 

“Right.  I, um, I forgot about that.  I forgot about fifth grade…” He turned to Logan with a sheepish expression, finding no sympathy in the other boy’s exasperated glare.

 

“You  _ forgot _ .” He was not impressed.  “You spent an entire year convincing me that the proper etiquette when asking for a ‘fist bump’ is to say ‘fist me’, and you  _ forgot _ ?”

 

“It was funny!  You almost made it a  _ thing _ , Lo!” Roman tried to defend himself, but Logan wasn’t having it.

 

“I made a fool of myself at a fundamental time of my learning and development as a person.  It was mortifying, Roman, and you are not tricking me again.”

 

“Fine, I’m sorry, alright?  I’m sorry about fifth grade, it was stupid and I was stupid,” Roman said, seeing the edges of Logan’s lips quirk in a rare smile.

 

“‘Was’?” He teased.  Roman groaned.

“Okay, I deserved that one.  But seriously, I don’t think I ever apologized for that, and I guess I owe you one.  So I’m sorry.”

 

“Thank you, Roman,” Logan sounded genuine, and Roman relaxed a little.  He and Logan had never  _ really _ fought, at least not in a way that lasted past the actual altercation, but every time they did clash Roman was reminded of how different they were.  And he got nervous that one day they would fight, and it wouldn’t be so amicably resolved. Logan told Roman many times that they had been friends for this long, it would take a lot for Logan to get really fed up with him, but Roman was an emotional person.  He didn’t worry about many things, but his relationships with those he cared about was one of those things.  

 

“So…” He decided to try again, despite years of failed attempts.  “What can I do to convince you?”

 

Logan sighed and adjusted his glasses.

 

“Nothing, Roman.  I might have forgiven you for fifth grade, but I haven’t forgotten it.  And this is an even weaker ruse than that. I might believe you if you were able to show me any sort of proof, but that is impossible, right?” He eyed Roman, who flushed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

 

“Yes, unfortunately.  Proof is rather hard. But come on, Logan, haven’t you ever encountered something that just couldn’t be explained?” He insisted.  Logan rolled his eyes.

 

“Everything can be explained, Roman.  And, logically or scientifically, there is no concrete evidence of the existence of ghosts,” His voice held finality, but Roman wasn’t done.

 

“They really don’t like the term ‘ghost’, Lo, they prefer spirit.” He ignored the glare from Logan and kept his head faced forward.  “And there might not be evidence, but I’m not the only person to ever be able to see them.”

 

“Sure, Roman.  Keep telling yourself that.” Logan brushed him off yet again, and Roman grew annoyed.

 

“Logan, this is my life.  I’ve seen them my whole life, and I’ve spent my life helping as many of them as I could, letting them finally move on,” He said, a little agitated.  He was only a little bitter that his best friend didn’t believe such an important thing about his life. Just a little. “It’d be great if you would give me the benefit of the doubt here, and just trust me.”

 

Logan shot Roman another look as the school came into view around the corner.

 

“Okay, ghosts are real,” He said.  “Sorry, ‘spirits’. There you go, you’ve convinced me.  Happy now?”

 

Roman deflated, not answering as the two of them drew closer to the school.  Logan seemed to notice his sudden disappointment, but took it as a reason to seem proud of himself.  Roman knew it wasn’t personal, but it didn’t change the fact that he desperately wanted Logan to believe him on this.  Roman had known about spirits since he was old enough to talk and he realized that not everyone could talk to the nice people on the streets or in buildings that always seemed surprised when he smiled at them.  And ever since he was old enough to walk around the town on his own, he did his best to help those that he could move on. And also did his best to keep any spirits that gave him a bad feeling far away from Logan.  He had gotten rather good at spotting vengeful spirits, having seen far more than he would like. He still made some wrong calls, but better safe than sorry when it came to those spirits.  

 

He didn’t bring up the spirits again, and the next time either of them spoke it was to say where their first class was.  Of course, they were practically on opposite ends of the school, and so they probably wouldn’t see each other until the lunch period that they thankfully shared.  Roman sighed, bid Logan a temporary farewell, and hiked his backpack farther up his shoulder. His first class was English, and while he didn’t hate it, he was rather indifferent still.  

 

In fact, he was indifferent about all his classes until after lunch.  Because after lunch he had his theater class. And so he got through the rest of his classes with a barely contained excitement that manifested in a continually tapping foot.  He might have pissed off a classmate or two, but that was fine. He tried to distract himself by searching for that poor spirit’s dog, looking at all the local online bulletins and all those websites where the townspeople post about needing lawns mowed or about how the one man down the street never slows down at the stop sign.  He even checked the ones for the next town over. Nothing. Nothing about a beagle named Nellie. He did find the original post by the man’s wife, made a little over three months ago, and begging for any information about the poor dog. Through that, he found the man himself and saw that he passed away from an illness only a week after his wife made that post.  No wonder the dog had been missing for so long, the wife probably stopped looking after her husband died. He clicked absently onto the wife’s facebook, hoping to maybe find some clue as to where the dog might go, when he froze.  

 

‘ _ It’s been two months since we lost him, but we’re helping each other heal _ ’ was the caption on one of the posts.  Roman almost scrolled past it, but the picture was what stopped him.  It was a blonde woman kneeling in the grass, her head bowed down and her forehead pressed to the small forehead of a little beagle.  Roman felt a wry smile on his face. That poor guy. He knew what his unfinished business was, and he probably left to go find his dog as soon as he came to terms with his death.  Months later and he’s had no luck, not realizing that the dog found her way home on her own while he was tirelessly combing the streets for her. Why the man hadn’t gone back to his house was beyond Roman, but he supposed that the man didn’t want to watch his wife grieve.  

 

Roman felt good as he closed all the tabs, though.  He always felt good as he helped a spirit find their peace.  

 

Peace, though, was not something that Roman really knew how to find for himself.  He was vibrating like his blood was made of caffeine, wound up tight like a spring waiting to be released by the bell.  And as soon as that bell rang, he was zipping through the halls to his next destination. He barreled into the cafeteria at lunchtime, quickly claiming a table and waiting for Logan to find him.  He didn’t have to wait long before the other boy was sitting across from him and taking out his own packed lunch. Roman’s mom took pride in packing him lunch every day, leaving him an encouraging note like she has since kindergarten.  Today was no different, and the small heart on the paper made Roman smile.  

 

“Have you had a good day so far?” Logan asked, looking up at Roman from across the table.  Roman shrugged.

 

“It’s fine.  Pretty normal first day, every class has been all about the syllabus that will ultimately be thrown out the window by the end of the year.”

 

“Syllabi are still important, they tell you what to expect from the class,” Logan said.  Roman rolled his eyes.

 

“Of course you defend the syllabi, Microsoft  _ Nerd _ .”

 

Logan just shook his head in response and turned back to his lunch.  Roman was about to do the same when his eye was caught by something that made him just a little worried.  There was a boy entering the cafeteria, a wide grin on his face that really didn’t belong in the middle of a high school, but whatever.  He was walking with a group over to a table, chattering excitedly while wearing a light blue sweater vest like he was a middle-aged dad. Normally that wouldn’t get Roman’s attention, he wasn’t noticing every peppy student, after all.  No, what caught his eye was the boy following a few steps behind the ball of sunshine. Roman had gotten pretty good at the nuance over the years. He could see the very, very  _ slight _ differences between the living and the spiritual.  Spirits tended to not be affected by light or shadow, and if you looked hard enough, you could sometimes spot the incredibly small level of transparency in their forms.  There were a few spirits in the halls of the school, which Roman intended to help at some point, and all of them were wandering aimlessly while sometimes attempting the fruitless endeavor of interacting with the living students.  

 

The boy in blue was being haunted.  And the spirit behind him did not look friendly.  With his black hood pulled over his head and his hands shoved in the pockets of the hoodie, it was hard to see him as anything but...dark.  His facial expression was barely visible, but what Roman could see was clearly a glare. He couldn’t tell what the spirit was glaring at, but that expression wasn’t easy to see as a good one.

 

As the blue boy and his friends took a seat, the dark spirit took a spot standing right behind the boy he was clearly following.  Almost standing guard. In fact, one of the other school spirits pushed herself off the wall to stroll over to the hoodie spirit, probably to introduce herself and try to make a connection, as so many spirits were, for lack of a better word, dying to do.  But the hoodie spirit didn’t let her get within twenty feet of himself, giving her what could only be described as a death glare until she acquiesced and went back to the wall.  

 

It took Roman a minute to think that maybe the spirit wasn’t keeping the other spirit away from himself, but from the boy sitting in front of him.  Maybe he really was standing guard. But nothing good could come from a spirit as angry as that one having his eye on a boy like  _ that _ .  

 

“Aw, c’mon…” He muttered, coming to the conclusion that he had been avoiding.  This spirit, with the shadows under his eyes and the perpetual glower on his face, was definitely up to no good.  In fact, if he wasn’t already, then it was only a matter of time before he became vengeful. And if he had an eye on that boy, then that poor kid would take the brunt of the anger and the outbursts that came with the territory of vengeful spirits.  The spirit probably had his eye on the large, condensed well of energy that the blue boy was, most likely hoping to leech that energy into himself and grow stronger.  

 

“-ear me?  Roman?  _ Roman! _ ” Logan snapped his fingers in front of Roman’s face, snapping him out of his downward spiral.  “Finally. Were you daydreaming again?”

 

“What?  Oh..um, yeah, totally,” Roman lied, knowing Logan wouldn’t believe him.  He would probably just get annoyed if Roman brought up spirits again. Logan frowned.

 

“Are you sure?  Did you see someone you know?  You were staring pretty intently at the table over there,” He looked over Roman’s shoulder towards the table where the boy in blue was sitting with his friends and with his dark shadow behind him.  Roman chuckled awkwardly.

 

“No, I don’t know anyone.  Just...thought I saw something.”

 

“A ghost?” Logan looked unimpressed.  Roman sighed and rested his chin in his hands.

 

“Spirit, Logan.  And yeah, actually,” He said.  Screw it, if Logan didn’t want to believe him because there were no facts, then Roman would just have to not shut up about it and annoy him into believing.  If there was one thing Roman could say, it was that he was  _ very  _ good at annoying Logan.  

 

“Really?” Logan asked, very clearly not actually asking.  He voiced the question the way one asks ‘really’ after someone very obviously lied.  Roman wasn’t lying, though, and one day he’d make sure Logan knew that.

 

“Yeah, Lo.  I think a kid’s being haunted over there.  He might be in trouble,” Roman explained briefly, seeing the annoyance flash in Logan’s dark eyes.  Good.  

 

“Don’t tell me you’re going to try and say the Ghostbusters are real, Roman.  That would be taking this ruse a little too far,” Logan sighed, and Roman scoffed.

 

“Those movies aren’t even accurate to the spirit plane in general, Logan, of course the Ghostbusters don’t exist.  Spirits don’t need  _ busting _ , they need help.  They’re only a problem if they turn vengeful, which is what I’m worried about with his kid and his haunter.” Roman knew that Logan didn’t care about his explanation, but he had to share this knowledge with  _ someone _ , and who better than the person that Roman had called a ‘knowledge sponge’ on multiple occasions?  Sure enough, Logan just shook his head at Roman’s words and went back to his lunch. Roman frowned slightly, but dropped the subject.  Any investigation into this boy and the spirit would have to be on his own anyway.  

 

As lunch wrapped to a close, Roman wasn’t feeling the excitement he had had all day about his coming theater class.  Instead, he just watched that boy get up and grab his bag, unaware of the danger standing right behind him. Sometimes he was a little jealous of those with no knowledge of the spirit plane, but times like this he was glad to have his gift. 

 

That boy needed his help, and damn if Roman Prince wasn’t going to save him from that dark spirit.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its not slow burn if virgil doesnt make a truly wonderful first impression now is it
> 
> also! i think im gonna update saturday and tuesday! so twice a week. 
> 
> hope you all liked it :)


	6. The Shadow Speaks

Virgil really hated high school.  He hated the crowds, the teachers, the other students, and the other ghosts. But most of all, he hated the fact that it all  _ still _ stressed him out. He was dead! He didn’t have to do the work or take the tests or deal with the jerks! But Patton wasn’t nervous, which meant all the nerves manifested in Virgil. Which was fine, he was happy to handle the stress if it made things easier for Patton, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t annoying.  

 

“Virge, it’s been fine,” Patton said, swinging his backpack onto his back.  “It’s been a week, and nothing bad has happened!”

 

“What about your math teacher saying that any cheating is an automatic failure?” Virgil said, raising his eyebrows.  Patton scoffed.

 

“Well, I don’t cheat so that’s not an issue.”

 

“No, but your eyes wander!  What if he thinks you’re cheating!” Virgil really didn’t understand how Patton didn’t see these problems, but that was why he was there to keep an eye out.  Patton reached out and ruffled Virgil’s hair, causing the other boy to scowl and swat his hand away.  

 

“Virgil, that’s not gonna happen.  But  _ if it does _ ,” He interrupted Virgil trying to object, “then we’ll deal with it!  It won’t be the end of the world. It won’t ruin my life. It’ll be  _ fine _ , you lovely ball of anxiety.”

 

Virgil rolled his eyes, but dropped the subject with a sigh.  He’d still do whatever he had to in order to make sure Patton didn’t get mistakenly marked for cheating.  He didn’t deserve that.  

 

Virgil had spent the past week working as best he could to keep Patton safe.  He was probably overworking himself, but between the choice of overworking himself and ‘saving’ Patton from things that most likely would be fine, and having something happen to Patton because Virgil let his guard down?  There was a clear answer. Already, Virgil has had to keep a few spirits from trying to get close to him or Patton. He knew that not all ghosts were vengeful, but until he knew how to tell, he would play it safe. He also didn’t  _ really _ like Patton’s friends, but he would never say that because he did like how happy they made Patton.  He’d mentioned here and there that some things they said weren’t nice, and that they didn’t seem to really care too much about Patton, but he never pressed the issue when Patton started to get upset.  He wanted to, but he hated making Patton upset. So he’d just keep an eye out on his own and be ready to do something if he had to, although he wasn’t sure what exactly he could do in his condition.  

 

“You ready?” Patton asked, motioning to the door.  Virgil shrugged, but followed him down the stairs anyway, ringing the wind chime in the kitchen despite always being right behind Patton in the mornings.  

 

“Morning boys, did you sleep well?” Momma asked as they entered.  Virgil’s knocking was almost unheard over Patton’s answer, but Momma managed to pick it out, and she nodded.  “Patton, don’t forget to take something for breakfast. I know you’re excited to see your friends, but you have to eat.”

 

“I  _ told  _ you that you forgot to pack the protein bar, but who didn’t listen?” Virgil backed up their mom, raising his eyebrows at Patton.  Patton had a bad habit of forgetting to eat a good breakfast and then buying cookies at lunch anyway, despite Virgil’s comments. Patton pouted.  

 

“It’s like I have two moms sometimes…” He sighed, going to the cabinet and pulling out a few of the protein bars.  “See? Now I’ll be set for a while!”

 

“Virgil, make sure he doesn’t eat all of those today, alright?  Or share them with everyone he meets?” Momma’s mouth quirked into a wry smile, one that Virgil copied as he knocked his agreement.  

 

“Okay, okay, we’re going now,” Patton hugged their mom and she kissed his cheek before he strode back across the kitchen and hooked his arm around Virgil’s neck.  He practically dragged Virgil out of the kitchen and out the front door, where Virgil was able to worm his way out of Patton’s grip. He stopped walking as soon as he was free, making Patton turn to face him.  

 

“Jeez, what’s the rush?  I’m all for being early, but we’ll be early even if we walk at a normal pace,” Virgil asked.  Patton shrugged.  

 

“I just wanted to get moving!  It’s such a nice day!” He answered, but Virgil frowned.  He knew Patton like the back of his own incorporeal hand and he could tell that his brother was deflecting the question.  

 

“Pat…” He took hold of Patton’s hand.  “Was it me and Momma ganging up on you in there?  We just wanted to make sure you were eating enough.”

 

“I know, Virge, I know.” Patton looked down at their linked hands.  “It’s just...I can take care of myself too, and when both of you get like that…”

 

Virgil sighed.

 

“Sorry, Pat,” He said.  “I just worry. And there’s nothing for me to worry about in regards to myself, and so I worry about you.  After all, I mean, what else am I gonna do besides look out for you?”

 

“I  _ do _ appreciate it,” Patton said, looking at Virgil earnestly.  “And I’d much rather have you worrying about everything right behind me than have to go to school without you.  Just...let me worry about the stuff that I can control? Like eating breakfast?”

 

Virgil gave Patton a small smile.  “I can’t promise I won’t remind you, but I won’t keep bringing it up.  I think I can manage to focus on the outside factors.”

 

“Thanks, Virgil.  And, I know that I can’t actually do anything about this, but…” Patton lightly squeezed Virgil’s hand.  “I wish that you had more reason to worry about yourself. I worry about you sometimes, but I know it’s not the same.”

 

“I’m fine, Patton, really,” Virgil said.  “I’ve had more than enough time to get used to this.  And the only person that I really need to be close to is you, so I’m fine on that front.”

 

“I know you are, but...it couldn’t  _ hurt _ to maybe talk to some of those other ghosts you mentioned seeing around the school?  Having people to talk to that aren’t me might help,” Patton offered with a faux-nonchalant shrug.  Virgil could see the sincerity of the suggestion in his face, and he sighed as the two of them started walking again.  

 

“Not until I’m sure that none of them are dangerous.  And I can’t be sure of that.”

 

“I’ll take it,” Patton grinned, his energy returning as they got closer and closer to the school.  Virgil didn’t know much about normal kids and their lives, but he was pretty certain that Patton was weird for how much he liked school.  All the other kids looked tired as they trudged into the doors, almost rivaling Virgil with their slouches and exhausted eyes, but Patton was as bright as ever.  He caught more than a few other students staring at Patton with a mixture of annoyance and jealousy, and he wished that his death glares worked on the living.  

 

Virgil mostly spent the time during Patton’s classes standing right behind his desk, listening to the class and learning along with his brother.  Sometimes he went behind the teacher’s desk to find the answer to something he knew Patton was struggling with so that Virgil could help when they got home, but mostly he just listened and sometimes whispered sarcastic commentary into Patton’s ear.  Not too much, since he was scared to get Patton in trouble, but sometimes he just couldn’t help himself. Patton would occasionally write back to Virgil in the margins of his notes, too.

 

So Virgil amused himself throughout an early morning math class and a boring history class before he followed Patton to lunch.  Virgil didn’t like lunchtime. First off, all he had to pay attention to was Patton’s conversation with his new friends, one that he couldn’t participate in.  Second, lunch was when more ghosts tried to talk to him, and he had to spend more effort getting them to go away. Today was no different, although Virgil swore that he felt like he was being watched.  He was able to get himself to brush it off as just another spirit trying to get his attention, but he still felt a little unnerved.  

 

Then came Patton’s English class.  Usually this class was one of Virgil’s favorites, despite being unable to participate.  Or, actually, maybe because he was unable to participate, or be forced to participate. He loved English, but he knew that he would  _ hate  _ contributing to the discussions in the class.  Today, however, was a little different. Because as the bell rang, a boy entered the room who had not been in the class for the past week.  After murmuring with the teacher for a few minutes, the boy grinned and ran a hand back through his light brown hair. The teacher turned to the class and said that the boy, who introduced himself as Roman, had just switched into the class, and that they were to help him get up to speed on what they’d talked about.  

 

Then, because Virgil had great luck, the boy was told to sit in the desk next to Patton.  Virgil frowned, he had to make sure this kid wouldn’t get Patton in trouble. The boy scanned the classroom as he walked over, and for a split second his eyes paused...meeting Virgil’s gaze.  Virgil froze, eyebrows furrowing, but the boy moved on to look around the rest of the room and Virgil let out the breath he had held. Still, he held a glare at the boy as he sat down in the desk, as if Virgil could stare right through his head and know if he would hurt Patton.  He knew that was impossible, but a boy can dream.

 

“Hi!  I’m Patton,” Patton reached over to shake the new boy’s hand, smiling brightly.  

 

“Roman,” The boy responded.  “I’m glad I was able to switch into this class, it was the only open English class this period.”

 

“Why did you switch?” Patton asked, genuinely curious like only he could be.  Virgil couldn’t be bothered to care, but Patton leaned onto his desk while watching intently for an answer.  The boy, Roman, leaned back in his chair with a hand splayed proudly on his chest. 

 

“I had to replace my English class with intermediate theater, I was approved to move up from the beginner class,” he bragged, causing Virgil to scoff and roll his eyes.  Patton discreetly swatted his leg from under his chair, but Virgil wasn’t taking back the sentiment. He wasn’t sure Roman was a threat anymore, but he  _ was  _ annoying, and Virgil was going to make sure Patton knew he thought that.  

 

“That’s great!  You like theater, then?” Patton kept talking to Roman, much to the chagrin of a disgruntled Virgil, who crossed his arms as the two of them chattered back and forth.  The teacher seemed to be excusing this, which Virgil was baffled by, but a small part of his brain said that it made sense to let Patton make Roman feel comfortable in the class.  Virgil wished that the teacher would call them out on their talking, but his instinct to stop Patton from getting in trouble won out over his urge to cover both Patton and Roman’s mouths with his hands.  Instead, he just pursed his lips and pulled his hood up over his head.  

 

It wasn’t that Virgil distrusted Roman, except that was exactly what it was.  Virgil didn’t even fully trust the kids that Patton had been hanging out with for the past week, so of course he wouldn’t trust this random kid who seemed very interested in befriending Patton.  So if his glare was a little harsher than normal, well, he knew it wouldn’t do anything anyway. And he also knew that Patton would be upset if Virgil tried to  _ actually _ push away any of the kids he distrusted, and so a glare would be all he did.  Spirits, he could push away all he wanted, and he definitely did his best to look ahead and steer Patton away from potentially dangerous/potentially bully-laden scenarios, but anyone Patton actually wanted to hang out with was off-limits for Virgil’s protective, worrying nature.  

 

“So, have you read this before?” Patton held up the copy of the book they were reading.  It was the classic freshman English unit, with Romeo and Juliet, and Patton was dreading having to read the death scenes since he was already attached to the love story.  Virgil frowned harder as Roman cocked his head.

 

“I haven’t, actually,” He said.  “Do you think you could fill me on what we’ve talked about so far?”

 

“That’s a load of crap,” Virgil muttered to Patton, who just swatted his leg again.  Virgil narrowed his eyes at Roman. What kind of theater kid hadn’t read Romeo and Juliet?  Especially one that just  _ oozed  _ theater like Roman did?  Virgil’s suspicion of Roman skyrocketed as Patton grinned brightly.

 

“Of course!  I can meet you after school if you want?”

 

Virgil held back a complaint, but he really didn’t want Patton hanging out with Roman after school.  Something was up with him, drawing him to Patton and leading him to lie in order to hang out with him.  Virgil was going to find out what. And then he’d get Patton’s permission to intervene a little. He couldn’t do much, but a little unnerving feeling whenever Roman was around Patton should do the trick.  

 

“That would be incredible!” Roman beamed.  “Thank you  _ so  _ much, I would really hate to be behind in this class already.”

 

“I can’t do today, unfortunately, but tomorrow I can meet you in the library?” Patton asked, and Roman nodded, holding out his hand to seal the deal.

 

“Can do, I’ll see you then!  Thank you again, you’re a real lifesaver.”  He shook Patton’s hand right as the teacher started talking about a partner project that he would be assigning on Romeo and Juliet at the end of the week.  Both Roman and Patton finally stopped talking, turning back towards the front and listening intently. Virgil sighed and crossed his arms. He was having a talk with Patton later.  

 

‘Later’ came as soon as Patton left the school and started down the sidewalk towards home.  

 

“I really don’t like that kid,” Virgil said immediately, causing Patton to glance over at him with a sigh.

 

“Virgil, he needs help to catch back up with the class!  Of course he’d be nice to the person he was sat next to, he needs my help.” He wasn’t being condescending, which Virgil appreciated, but he also wasn’t listening to Virgil.

 

“Patton, he said he’s in intermediate theater.  And he hasn’t read Romeo and Juliet? That’s impossible.  Something else is going on,” Virgil insisted. Patton glanced around before grabbing Virgil’s hand.  

 

“Nothing else is going on, Virgil, trust me.  He’s a high school freshman, what else could he possibly be doing?  I appreciate the worry, I really do, but in this case, you’re overthinking it.” Patton met Virgil’s eyes with determination, grounding Virgil.  He stuck his other hand in his jacket pocket.  

 

“Just...be careful?  You know I’ll be here, but just in case, be careful,” Virgil looked pleadingly at Patton.  

 

“Okay.  I promise I’ll be careful,” Patton acquiesced with a smile.  Virgil let the subject drop then, and the two of them kept walking home in comfortable silence.  

 

* * *

 

Roman watched the dark spirit follow Patton out of the classroom intently, never letting Patton get too far ahead of him.  Throughout the class, he had heard the spirit make the occasional snarky comment, in a low, almost growling voice. Roman had been slightly surprised that the spirit, who was so attached to the spot behind Patton that he practically acted as the boy’s shadow, would talk when no one could seemingly hear him, but he had heard that some vengeful spirits forget that they’re dead.  Perhaps this one is already that far gone? It seemed impossible since he wasn’t actively hurting Patton yet, which meant that he was either talking to himself or he was testing if Roman could hear him. That could be it. He had glowered at Roman the whole class too as if he knew Roman could see him. Which was impossible, as Roman had made a point to never look directly at him.  The closer he could get to Patton without the spirit getting suspicious of him, the more likely he could try and get rid of the spirit haunting the poor boy. Unfortunately, judging by one of the remarks hissed under his breath, the spirit was already suspicious of him just by virtue of him trying to befriend Patton. Which was fine, totally fine, Roman could work with that. The spirit was clearly suspicious of anyone who got remotely close to his chosen target, and so Roman just had to not be more suspicious than anyone else.  

 

“Logan!  Hey! Over here!” He called, spotting Logan in the crowd of people flooding out the school doors.  Logan sighed, rolling his eyes before heading over to meet Roman.

 

“Hello Roman, I just saw you two hours ago, you don’t need to yell,” he said, reluctantly letting Roman pull him into a quick hug.  He had long since gotten used to Roman’s affectionate tendencies.  

 

“Yes, I know, now come on.  My mom is making cookies and she told me to bring you over.”  Roman noticed the small glint that appeared in Logan’s eyes at the mention of cookies.  For all his harping about a healthy diet and his adamance that he didn’t like junk food, he had a soft spot for Mrs. Prince’s cookies.  Everyone did.  

 

So with Logan following behind him, Roman pulled his backpack higher onto his shoulder and set off down the sidewalk, looking forward to his study session the next day.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed! i love my spooky ghost son very very much


	7. Checkmate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A move is made.

Roman was confused.  Baffled, even. Completely and utterly hornswoggled.  Bamboozled. Befuddled, perplexed, discombobulated and flummoxed.  

 

The dark spirit was doing nothing.  It had been three weeks. Roman’s first month of high school had passed without fanfare, despite Roman and Patton being assigned as partners for the Romeo and Juliet project.  They met up twice a week in the library to work on the project, and Patton’s dangerous shadow followed him every single time without fail. He glared, and grumbled, and watched with his face half-dark from the hood of his jacket.  If they weren’t watching Patton, his eyes were trained on Roman with suspicion and annoyance.  

 

But he hadn’t made a move to hurt Patton.  What other reason would he be so angrily following the poor boy around?  What other reason would he make certain no other spirit got within fifteen feet of the two of them?  He obviously wanted Patton all to himself, and the energy radiating off of him was all indicative of something vengeful, yet Patton’s energy never wavered and the spirit never interfered with the mortal plane.  And Roman had no clue what that dark spirit’s plan was. But whatever it was, Roman would find out. Today.  

 

“You seem out of it, Roman.  Are you sure you’re alright?” Logan asked at lunch.  Roman was staring over the other boy’s shoulder, watching as Patton sat in a booth by himself, with the spirit leaning on the barrier between the booths, arms crossed and hood up.  Roman was a little concerned with why Patton was sitting alone, and a little more concerned with the smile that was still on his face despite his usual table still full of the kids he usually sat with.  Was the spirit making his move? “Roman? Don’t tell me you’re still on this ‘haunting’ thing.”

 

“It never went away,” Roman mumbled, absentmindedly taking a bite of his sandwich.  “I think it’s getting worse, I need to get to the bottom of this, or Patton could get seriously hurt.”

 

“I, of course, appreciate your instinct to protect, you know I do,” Logan said, and Roman’s eyes flashed to him.  He knew Logan appreciated that, because Roman had protected Logan from mortal threats as well as the spirit kind. Bullies didn’t really like the fact that Logan wasn’t affected by their taunts and instead chose to taunt them back, and so Roman made sure to step in when fists began flying.  “But say you are telling the truth here, and I’m not saying I think you are, how are you going to even protect your new friend? You said you couldn’t touch ‘spirits’, right?”

 

Roman sighed.  “Right. I can’t.  But if I can get the spirit alone, maybe I can talk to him?  It would be dangerous, but maybe I can find out his plan, or if he’s really vengeful yet.”

 

“Dangerous and stupid, Roman.  But since all this is fake anyway, go ahead.” Logan turned back to his food, letting Roman resume staring across the cafeteria at Patton.  Roman knew that even if he ignored Logan the whole lunch, it wouldn’t do anything to their friendship, but as he let his attention drift away from his best friend, he resolved to let Logan pick their next outing no matter how nerdy he made it.  

 

When Roman arrived to the library after school, he approached slowly, trying to spy on the spirit before he knew Roman was there.  He saw Patton sitting at their regular table with his regular shadow and his spirit shadow both behind him. But that wasn’t what made Roman pause.  Roman paused at Patton’s face. Patton was...frowning at the table, a sad sort of look that Roman had never seen on the usually happy boy before. And then he saw the spirit, with his hand resting on Patton’s shoulder.  

 

Oh no he wasn’t.  Not on Roman’s watch.  He wasn’t letting this spirit sap Patton’s energy like that, Patton didn’t deserve it.  So Roman strode forward, stage-whispering Patton’s name a little louder than the librarians liked.  Patton jerked upwards, a smile breaking out over his face as he spotted Roman. As the spirit spotted Roman, his hand left Patton’s shoulder as his arms crossed, and Roman held back the urge to smile at him smugly.  He had to keep up the act for just a little bit longer, then he could confront the spirit.  

 

“Hey, Roman, how was your day?” Patton asked, his voice chipper despite the way he had looked before Roman came up.  

 

“Alright.  How about yours?” He returned, sitting down across from Patton and swinging off his backpack.  Patton shrugged.

 

“My day was fine!  Now about this project, I had some ideas—”

 

“—Are you sure?” Roman interrupted.  “I don’t want to pry, but I saw you looked a little sad as I walked up.”

 

Patton was quiet for a second, the spirit turning a harsh look onto Roman.  But Patton sighed, and Roman focused on him rather than the spirit.

 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He smiled gratefully at Roman.  “I just found out that some people weren’t exactly who I thought they were.”

 

“What do you mean?” Roman leaned forward onto the table.  Patton turned his eyes to the wood, pushing up his glasses.

 

“Sometimes it takes a while to realize that people are kinda mean, you know?  I mean, I’ve had, um, someone telling me that my friends weren’t treating me great for a little while now, but I never saw it myself until today,” He said, and Roman noticed the spirit’s glare darken again.  Now the spirit was mad at Patton for something? He didn’t deserve to be mad at Patton after trying to use him like a battery.  

 

“Well you don’t deserve that, Patton,” Roman said, reaching a hand across the table to pat Patton’s arm comfortingly.  “Say, why don’t you hang out with me and my friend Logan? If you were looking for new friends, that is.”

 

“That sounds great, Roman, thank you!” A light brightened Patton’s eyes as the spirit rolled his own.  

 

“We always take the table closest to the snack machine at lunch, by the way,” Roman added with a grin.  “Now, what were your ideas for the project?”

 

Patton, now looking happier, launched into his list of ideas for their presentation.  Roman listened intently, but also dedicated a part of his awareness to keeping an eye on the dark presence standing guard behind Patton.  Currently he was watching Patton flip hurriedly through his notebook, an unreadable expression on his face underneath his hood. Patton was reading through a list he had made in one of his classes earlier today, and Roman’s eyes caught on a few notes scribbled in the margins that had nothing to do with Romeo and Juliet.  

 

‘ _ Don’t say I told you so’  _ was scrawled on the side of the page seemingly out of nowhere.  Then, down a few lines, there was more.

 

_ I know you did. _

 

_ It’s not your fault! _

 

_ Thanks <3. _

 

_ Dunno what I’d do if you weren’t. _

 

_ No, don’t do that, I don’t want you to. _

 

_ What are you thinking? _

 

_ That sounds really nice, thank you :). _

 

There was another one down at the bottom of the page, but Roman couldn’t make it out due to Patton’s messy handwriting.  He couldn’t help the slight frown on his face as he tried to figure out why Patton wrote those notes. Was he talking to whoever sat next to him?  Roman usually ripped out the note when he did that, but he supposed this worked too.  

 

Nothing else happened during the study session, although not for lack of looking on Roman’s part.  He was just daring the spirit to try something, daring him to mess with Patton while Roman was right there.  He didn’t even talk to himself though, he was just silently standing there, watching the whole time.  

 

_ Creepy. _

 

But finally, Roman had his chance.  Patton had packed up his things, bidding Roman a goodbye and setting off through the library.  Roman had swung his backpack over his shoulder and followed Patton through the hallways. And then, finally, when Patton ducked into the bathroom, the spirit remained out in the hallway and leaned against the wall with his hood up and arms crossed.  Roman felt a determined smirk spread across his face as he straightened his back and strode forward.

 

* * *

 

Virgil was tired.  It had been a long day, very emotionally exhausting, and all he wanted to do was go home and sit down for a family dinner and then go to sleep.  He really liked sleep. He didn’t want to have to think anymore about the jerks who made fun of Patton. The jerks who let him think that they were friends, acting just nice enough that Patton’s trusting nature took hold, but just mean enough to set off Virgil’s alarm bells.  The jerks that decided today of all days was a good day to notice Patton smiling at something Virgil had muttered, and call him out on it rather rudely. Of all the days to act like that, they picked the anniversary, the day that Patton would be the least likely to put up with anything that remotely linked back to Virgil.  After all, even though they were together, Virgil was still  _ dead,  _ and the anniversary never failed to remind them of that.  

 

Virgil was happy that Patton wasn’t hanging out with those kids anymore, he had hated listening to the things they said when they thought no one could hear them, the things Patton found unbelievable.  But he hated seeing Patton upset even more, and he hated that he felt it was his fault. After all, he had been the one to make Patton smile at seemingly nothing. So yes, he just wanted to go home and be with his family on the anniversary of his death.  But of course Patton had a study session after school with the most annoying kid Virgil had ever had the pleasure of being unable to meet. Sure, he wasn’t mean, in fact he was actually nice to Patton unlike the ‘friends’ that Patton had just left. But he was infuriating with his dramatic gestures and his inability to adhere to the library’s noise level.  

 

He seemed to make Patton feel better, though, and so Virgil didn’t say anything mean about him, he just settled for glaring in the other boy’s direction while he talked with Patton about their project and the ideas that Virgil had helped Patton come up with earlier.  

 

As Patton finally left the library, Virgil let his gaze soften.

 

“I’m so ready to go home,” He said, and Patton let out a soft chuckle.

 

“Me too, Virgil, me too.  Momma said she was making a cake, so that should be fun,” He replied, glancing over at Virgil.  “Are you up for cake?”

 

“I think cake is the only thing I’m up for right now.”  Virgil gave Patton a quick grin. “We both deserve it today.”

 

“You know it.  I’m just glad I won’t have to eat lunch alone again tomorrow,” Patton said.  “Not that you aren’t great company, but it would be better if I could actually talk to you.”

 

“I know, I get it.  Now come on, we’ve had a long day, let's get home.”  Virgil tugged lightly on Patton’s hand, spurring him forward and getting him to smile a little more.  

 

“Alright, just let me stop by the bathroom quickly, I really shouldn’t have bought that juice earlier.”

 

“I literally told you that but okay,” Virgil rolled his eyes, but let Patton split off and go into the bathroom.  Feeling absolutely no desire to follow him in there, and trusting that nothing bad would happen, Virgil leaned against the wall and decided to see just how interesting the floor tiles could be.  The answer turned out to be very, as he first counted the spots on each one and then tried to make shapes between them. He had just managed to make the shape of a giraffe that spanned two whole tiles when a shadow fell in front of him.  He might not have noticed it, just passing it off as a kid trying to get into the locker right next to him, but soon an unfortunately familiar voice joined the shadow.  

 

“Well, at least you don’t follow him into the bathroom, am I right?” Roman’s voice cut through Virgil’s daydreaming, snapping his head up as their eyes met.  It only took Virgil a second to realize what was happening. Their  _ eyes had met _ .  

 

Roman was looking at him.  Roman was talking to him. Roman could see him.  

 

Virgil knew his eyes were blown wide open, staring unabashedly at Roman as the other boy cocked his head to the side.

 

“I mean, thank goodness for small miracles,” Roman continued, not lowering his gaze from Virgil’s face.  “Now, want to tell me what you want with Patton? I’d really rather not have his energy sapped by a vengeful spirit, thanks.”

 

Virgil wanted to answer, but he had no idea what to say.  He was speechless. He felt his mouth open and close a few times, his mind still trying to wrap around the situation, still coming to terms with the fact that  _ Roman could see him _ .  

 

What should he do?  He could stand up for himself, shoot back that he’s not a vengeful spirit and ask Roman what made him come to that conclusion.  He could stand there until Patton came back and then get  _ him  _ to say that Virgil wasn’t vengeful.  He could also run. Running sounded nice.  Running sounded safe.

 

But Roman was right there in front of him, staring at him, waiting and watching and staring, and Virgil felt his breathing speed up.  It had to be today, didn’t it? Of course it was today. Roman knew he was there, he had to have known the whole time, he thought Virgil was a threat!  What if he tried to separate him from Patton? What if that made Virgil actually go vengeful? What if Virgil accidentally hurt someone?  _ Patton _ ?

 

What was he going to do?  What was he going to do? What was he going to do what was he doing to do  _ what was he going to do what was he— _

 

—He hissed.  That was the first instinct he had, and he grabbed that bull by the horns no matter how stupid an idea it was.  He kept staring Roman in the eyes, and he hissed at him. Roman’s eyes widened, and he paused, confused and maybe a little bit frightened.  So Virgil seized the opportunity and he sprinted down the hall, not caring about anything and running right through other students until he reached the main doors.  He hated the feeling of passing through a person completely, it was too visceral a reminder of his condition, but in this case? It was by far the lesser of two evils.  

 

What did he do to deserve this?  What did he do to deserve  _ Roman Prince  _ being able to see him?  He was already dead, he didn’t need this too!

 

Was he really Patton’s friend, or was he just trying to get to Virgil?  If he found out that Patton liked having Virgil around, would he turn on Patton too?  There were too many variables, and Virgil didn’t know what to do. So he looked around as soon as he left the school building until his eyes lighted on a ghost sitting casually on the roof.  She was watching the sea of students with a disinterested expression, and Virgil curled his hands into fists to steel himself. Disinterest meant that she was less of a threat than Roman right now.  

 

“Hey, how did you get up there?” He called, hating how shaky his voice was.  The ghost jerked at the sound, eyes darting until they landed on Virgil. She seemed confused, but pointed down to a dumpster that led to a drain pipe.  Virgil felt a pit in his gut, but quickly made his way over and climbed onto the dumpster. The other ghost ran over and helped pull him up onto the roof when he struggled with the drainpipe, and Virgil quickly backed up to where the students outside couldn’t see him.  To where Roman couldn’t see him if he looked. Only then did he let his eyes close and his hands unclench. He would go down in a few minutes and find Patton, but he needed Roman to think he was gone first. What was he going to do tomorrow? Patton was going to sit with Roman at lunch, and Virgil couldn’t just abandon him!  But he couldn’t deal with the knowledge that Roman knew he was there and thought he was hurting Patton! Virgil crossed his arms around himself and tried to slow his breathing. Sometimes he hated the fact that he technically didn’t need to breathe, since it had become such a habit for him from his years of thinking he was still alive, but right now he hated that he still hung onto that habit.  

 

“Are you okay?” The ghost standing in front of him said, looking at him curiously.  “You seem really freaked, and the last time I saw you, you glared at me so hard I thought your eyes were gonna pop out of your head.”

 

Virgil focused on her voice, wishing that Patton was there.  He looked up at her from through his bangs, deciding that he needed some sort of distraction right now.  Maybe she even knew something.

 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” He managed to say.  “Just...a little freaked out.”

 

“From what?  Is there a Venge in the school?” The girl seemed to get a little worried herself, but Virgil frowned.

 

“ A Venge?”

 

“Oh, ‘vengeful spirit’ is a mouthful,” the girl rolled her eyes, “so all the spirits that hang out at the school just decided to call them Venge’s.  Sounds stupid, but it’s easier.”

 

“Well, no, there’s not one as far as I know.  But I think someone thinks  _ I  _ am,” The words felt good to say out loud, despite the voice that yelled at Virgil not to tell this to a stranger.  The girl cocked her head, thinking.  

 

“Well, I can see the logic there,” She admitted.  “You do seem a little...angry. All the time. But it’s pretty clear now that you’re not.  Who thought that? Was it one of the spirits that hang out by the gym? They can be pretty judgemental sometimes.”

 

“I- no,” Virgil took a breath, noticing too well the way that the girl’s eyes seemed interested when he did.  “No, he...wasn’t a ghost.”

 

The girl pursed her lips, nodding.

 

“Ah.  Pro-tip, by the way, most of us prefer the term spirit, but it’s not a huge deal for a lot of us.  But I get it. It can be really unnerving when you run into a mortal that can see the spirit plane.” The girl gave him a look that seemed understanding.  Virgil, finally calming down a bit, narrowed his eyes.

 

“So it does happen?  Some...some ‘mortals’ can see us?” He asked.  He knew Patton could only see him, and he assumed that no one could see every ghost.  Apparently, he was wrong.  

 

“Yep,” The girl shrugged.  “It’s rare, but not unheard of.  There definitely could be someone with the sight at this school, I can ask around if you want?  Unless they’re really lying low, it can be safe to assume they’d talk to at least  _ one  _ of us.”

 

“No, it’s fine, you don’t need to do that,” Virgil hastily assured her.  He didn’t really want help with this, he wanted to forget it happened. He especially didn’t want every ghost at this school knowing what happened.  The girl gave him a quick grin.

 

“Well now I’m curious, so I’ll ask around but I won’t mention you at all.  Sound good?” She asked. Virgil just stared at her before nodding. It was as if she knew exactly what he was thinking.  She grinned wider and clapped her hands together, before glancing over the edge of the roof and squinting. “Great! By the way, I think I see that boy you’re always with, he seems worried about something.”

 

Virgil froze.  Patton was probably freaking out, wondering where he went.  

 

“I have to go,” he said quickly, darting to the edge of the roof above the dumpster. 

 

“Hey, wait, now that I know you aren’t an asshole, what’s your name?” The girl called after him.  Virgil paused, considering his options before deciding to do what he knew Patton would want him to do.

 

“Virgil,” he replied.  He could hear the smile in the girl’s voice as she responded.

 

“I’m Valerie!”

 

Virgil hesitated before sending her a quick wave goodbye, and then he dropped onto the dumpster.  He had a lot to tell Patton.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked it!!!


	8. The Art of Subtlety

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> totally unrelated to this story: why can i not get good hours of sleep like normal people. Goodbye mental stability, hello trying to do work on 3.5 hours of sleep.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this :)

“You made a  _ friend? _ ” Patton exclaimed, eyes widening in excitement. Virgil groaned, putting his face in his hands. 

 

“Pat, no, I- is that really the most important thing you got out of what happened?” He asked, exasperated.  Patton was too busy vibrating to notice Virgil’s annoyance, he was just so happy that his brother had talked to someone other than him. 

 

“Well, of course I heard the rest of it, but Virgil!  I’m just so proud of you!” Patton ruffled Virgil’s hair, causing Virgil to pull away and find a spot on the other side of the couch with an indignant expression.

 

“Patton this is serious!  I only actually talked to her because  _ Roman knows about me _ !  Doesn’t that worry you?” He insisted.  Patton sighed, pushing his glasses up his nose.  

 

“Virge, if he thinks you’re a danger, then the answer is pretty simple.  We just show him you’re not!” He said. “He’s a nice guy, it’ll all work out.”

 

“What if it doesn’t!  He clearly doesn’t trust me, why would he listen to me?  Why did he wait so long to do anything if he didn’t think I was gonna hurt someone?” Virgil looked so nervous now, making Patton frown and scoot closer to him on the couch.  He covered Virgil’s hand with his own and looked him in the eyes.

 

“The important thing is that you  _ aren’t  _ gonna hurt someone, and I’ll make sure that Roman sees that too, okay?” He assured Virgil.  “Who knows, he might even say something tomorrow and then we can air all this out at once and all be friends!”

 

“Or he knows of a way to get rid of ghosts and—”

 

“—Now let’s not go there, that’s some dark thoughts that I really don't like,” Patton cut him off with a small smile.  “What do you want to do about this? You’re good with plans and stuff.”

 

“I don’t know, there’s just so much that can go wrong here,” Virgil brought a hand up to rub his temples, his expression pained.  “We don’t know Roman well enough to really know what he’s going to do.”

 

“Alright then, here’s your big brother’s master plan,” Patton grinned, ignoring the protests from Virgil that ‘Momma said  _ I  _ was older!’.  “Let’s just wait on it, and let him make his move.”

 

“I...what?  What if his first move is dangerous?”  Virgil rebutted.  

 

“Then we deal with that when it happens.  But, Virgil, I don’t think that’s gonna happen.  I think his first move is gonna be trying to confront you again, in which case we can explain everything and it’ll all go right as rain.” Patton didn’t think that Roman would hurt Virgil, not unless Virgil did something to truly make Roman think he was vengeful.  Which wasn’t gonna happen, because as dark and gloomy as Virgil could get, he was a sweetheart on the inside! It just took a bit of time to see that.  

 

“Are you sure?” Virgil asked hesitantly.  Patton nodded.

 

“Sure as sugar!”

 

“I don’t think that’s a saying, Pat.”

 

“Of course it is, I just said it, didn’t I?” Patton shot back.  “So are you good with that? Now that I’m all keyed in, I can see if he looks at you, and I can try and subtly find out what he’s thinking.”

 

“Can you do ‘subtle’, Patton?” Virgil asked, a doubtful expression on his face.  Patton pouted.

 

“Of course I can, I’m a master of subtle,” He replied.  “I doubt he’ll say anything directly to me since he doesn’t know I can see you, and so maybe he’ll let something slip.”

 

“Okay.  Yeah. Sure, let’s do this plan.” Virgil seemed less than enthused, but he wasn’t as petrified, so Patton would take it as a win.  

 

“Great!  Now we gotta go before Momma lets Daddy eat all the cake, I think she got the good chocolate kind.”

 

That got Virgil excited, and the two brothers raced themselves to the kitchen, their worries left behind for now.  

 

* * *

 

The next day, Virgil was more anxious than normal.  Patton insisted on holding his hand all the way to school, trying to calm him down somewhat, but as soon as the school came into view he got worked up again.  

 

“So we’re just pretending yesterday didn’t happen then?  I’m just ignoring Roman like I used to?” He asked, trying to mask the nerves in his voice.  But Patton could still hear them.  

 

“Yep!  Then he’ll be forced to make the first move, or he doesn’t for some reason and then I’ll confront him for you!  It’ll be fine, Virge, okay?” Patton gave his brother a wide smile, feeling proud when Virgil returned it with a small twitch of his lips.  

 

Virgil hung back when Patton entered the school, taking his usual place a few paces behind him.  Patton knew that the first few classes until lunch would be spent trying to ignore Virgil’s nervous vibrating behind him, but he was used to it by now.  

 

Patton wasn’t sure what lunch would bring, honestly.  He wasn’t nearly as nervous as Virgil, instead choosing to remain steadfastly optimistic about his new friend and how he definitely wasn’t going to try and hurt his already dead brother.  It was hard enough going to school and being unable to talk to Virgil all the time, Patton didn’t want to have to ask Virgil to stay home so he’s safe! He knew that Virgil liked going to school with Patton just as much as Patton liked having him there.  Even if he kept saying that he just needed to keep Patton safe, it was clear that he liked learning and that he actually enjoyed helping Patton with his homework and projects. It was thanks to Virgil that Patton’s project with Roman had such a good idea behind it.  Part of Patton wanted to tell Roman the truth about everything so that someone outside of their family could appreciate Virgil for all that he did, but Patton understood why Virgil was so hesitant. Roman had spent a month carefully watching Virgil and he said nothing!  It was a little suspicious.  

 

Patton’s best expectations for lunch included Roman making it somewhat obvious that he knew Virgil was there, allowing Patton to swoop in and tell him the truth.  Patton wasn’t thinking about any worst options, instead leaving that to Virgil.  

 

However, as the bell rang and Patton began to make his way to the cafeteria, Virgil hesitated.  He maneuvered Patton into a stairwell that was mostly used for couples to make out, which was mercifully empty.

 

“Patton...I can’t do it,” He said, gripping his hoodie sleeves like a lifeline.  Patton sighed in understanding.  

 

“I get it, Virge.  But you know he wouldn’t do anything in the cafeteria, right?  There are so many other people there,” Patton replied. Virgil shrugged, his eyes lowering to look at the floor.

 

“Do we know that?  What if we don’t know Roman at all, what if it’s all been fake?  I just don’t know if I can handle him actually  _ looking  _ at me again,” Virgil mumbled.  

 

“What are you gonna do during lunch then?” Patton asked.  Virgil looked pensive.

 

“Not sure.  Would it make you feel better if I said I might try and find that girl from yesterday?”

 

“Your new friend?” Patton brightened, his hands flying up to his cheeks in excitement.  “Oh yes! Go do that! And tell me  _ everything  _ after school!”

 

“She’s not a friend, Pat, she’s just...more than a stranger?  And not a threat. Which is more I can say about the rest of the spirits here,” Virgil frowned a little.  “Just tell me everything that Roman does at lunch okay? I’ll meet you at your English class.”

 

“Have fun with your new friend!  Tell her I said hi! Or, wait, would that be a bad idea?” Patton interrupted himself.  “I don’t know, I’m confusing myself, just trust your gut and if you think it’s a good idea then tell her I say hi.”

 

“I probably won’t, and she’s not my friend,” Virgil stated plainly.  “Now go to lunch and act normal. I’ll see you later.”

 

With that, Virgil headed back out of the stairwell and left Patton to ponder how he should act ‘normally’.  It would be weird going to lunch without Virgil, so that was already abnormal, so the best thing for Patton to do would be to pretend that Virgil was standing behind him like usual, right?  Yes, that seemed like the best idea.  

 

Patton immediately found Roman in the cafeteria, sitting across from a boy that Patton had seen around but never met before.  Sitting down next to Roman, Patton stuck out his hand to the new boy.

 

“Hi!” He said brightly.  “I’m Patton. I’m in Roman’s English class!”

 

“Logan,” The boy answered, shaking Patton’s hand firmly.  If they weren’t sitting, Patton would have hugged him as a greeting, but this would do.  “You’re the one that Roman thinks is haunted, yes?”

 

“ _ Logan! _ ” Roman hissed across the table, his face flushing slightly.  “I said nothing of the sort!”

 

The cursory glance at the empty space behind Patton said otherwise, but Patton wasn’t gonna mention that.  Yet, anyways.  

 

“Ha, it’s fine!” Patton waved off the flustered Roman.  “Being haunted would be kinda cool after all. As long as the ghost doesn’t look like a spider or something.”

 

Just because he was keeping Roman from thinking he knew about Virgil didn’t mean he wasn’t gonna defend the idea of Virgil existing.  What kind of brother would he be if he just let Roman think like that? And he wasn’t lying because Virgil was kind of haunting him and it was awesome! 

  
Throughout lunch, Patton only noticed Roman look behind him that once, but he did notice a few small, confused glances towards the doors of the cafeteria.  He was clearly wondering where Virgil was, and Patton didn’t blame him. Virgil had never left Patton’s side at school before, minus the times that Patton went to the bathroom.  Those didn’t count. Patton wanted to talk to Roman about it, this whole quiet reconnaissance way of doing this was Virgil’s area of interest, not Patton’s. But Virgil was the one who possibly could be put in danger here, so Patton would do things his way.  

 

And so Patton stayed quiet.  And he didn’t point out the fact that Roman kind of blatantly stared at Virgil when he entered the English classroom.  Instead he just drew a little heart in the corner of his paper to let Virgil know that it was all gonna be fine, and he waited until they both got home to tell him how confused Roman was.  Virgil was a little amused by that, which Patton took as a win, but he was still worried. Patton tried to change the subject to his new ghost friend, but all Virgil did was shrug and say that he listened to her talk about her experience as a spirit for a while.  

 

The next day passed the same way, with Virgil going his own way only during lunch, and with Roman being increasingly more relaxed during those same lunch periods the longer Virgil didn’t show up.  The next day was the same. And the next. And the next.  

 

A week passed, and the only thing that changed was that Virgil stopped protesting when Patton referred to Valerie as his friend.  Patton had to fight the urge to squeal loudly and tease him about that, but he knew that it was big enough that Virgil was actually  _ talking  _ with her instead of listening to her talk.  Patton would wait to tease him about it until he was more comfortable with the idea of actually having a friend.  

 

Another week, and Patton knew that he wanted to keep Roman as a friend.  Obviously if it came down to it, he would still pick Virgil in a heartbeat, but now he was more determined than ever to resolve this peacefully.  Roman was a real sweetheart, with a heart of gold and a desire to help people, something that Patton could admire. And he loved to talk about theater, his face lighting up in a way that just looked so happy.  Patton would deliberately ask him theater questions just to cheer him up, something that got a contradictory response from Logan. He would groan in annoyance, but send Patton a look of approval. Logan and Roman had an odd friendship, that was one of the first things Patton learned.  

 

Week three, and Patton was done.  He loved Virgil, and he knew that his brother wasn’t ready, but he also knew that he would never be ready.  And sometimes, it was family’s job to shove you into the deep end and just help you not drown. Roman was his friend, Logan was his friend, and he desperately wanted them to be friends with Virgil too.  So Patton would do what he did best: aggressively show affection until Virgil and Roman actually talked things out. 

 

“Virge, I don’t think Roman is gonna make another move,” Patton said, Sunday night as the two were hanging in the attic before going to sleep.  Virgil looked up from his book.

 

“You don’t?  What are you suggesting?”  He asked, his voice growing suspicious.  He knew what Patton was going to say. Or at least, he thought he did.

 

“Tomorrow, come with me to lunch,” He started, not stopping at Virgil’s stricken face.  “I know, I know, but Roman won’t be expecting it! It’ll throw him off to see you there, and then I can subtly worm information from him while he’s frazzled!”

 

Virgil was quiet.  Then he dropped his head onto his book with a groan.

 

“Why does that have to be a good idea?” He lamented, his voice not muffled at all despite his face being inside of the book.  Patton grinned proudly.

 

“Because I’m smart!  Now come sleep, we have a big day of sleuthing to do tomorrow!”

 

“Fine,” Virgil gave up his protesting, laying down on the bed next to Patton.  “‘Night, Sherlock.”

 

“I’m Watson, thank you very much,” Patton corrected, reaching over and turning out the lights.  “Goodnight.”

 

While Patton fell asleep to dreams of how great tomorrow could go, Virgil fell asleep to dreams of just how many ways everything could go wrong.

 

But he trusted Patton.  And so when the morning came, he was the one who reminded Patton of what they were doing.  Patton was insistent that everything would be okay, and Virgil was hoping he was right. But hope wasn’t good enough, and so Virgil barely paid any attention throughout all of Patton’s classes.  Instead he was mentally mapping every escape route from the cafeteria, and not using any energy so that if he had to, he had the strength to cause a distraction of sorts.  

 

And then all too soon, it was lunchtime.  

 

“Patton, remember,” Virgil muttered as he walked behind Patton, “ _ subtle _ .”

 

“I’ve got this, don’t worry,” Patton whispered back.  He walked into the cafeteria like he did every other day, immediately making his way to the table by the snack machine, where Roman and Logan were already sitting.  Roman spotted him, and Patton noticed how eyes lit up at first, but then slightly shifted away from Patton’s face. Roman then looked slightly concerned, confused, and suspicious, but all in such small amounts that Patton knew if he wasn’t looking for it he wouldn’t see it.  There was a reason that Roman had gone a month without Patton realizing he could see Virgil.

 

“Patton!  How, um, how was your day?” Roman asked, and Patton fought the urge to high-five Virgil.  They were right, he was totally thrown off by Virgil being there. Patton stole the seat next to Roman, which was normal, but Patton had another idea brewing.  He turned around as he put his backpack behind his seat, and made eye contact with his brother. He smiled a little and made a small motion with his head towards the other side of the table.  Virgil’s response was the pursing of his lips and a glare in Roman’s direction, but then the glare shifted to a smirk. And as Patton turned back around to greet Roman, Virgil made his way around the table to slide onto the stool right next to Logan.  Patton figured that if Virgil left his position as shadow, it would throw off Roman even more.

 

“It’s been great!  I had such a good weekend,” Patton leaned both his elbows on the table, trying not to laugh at the satisfied smirk on Virgil’s face as he pulled his hood over his head and refused to look at Roman.  Roman’s face looked a little pale as Patton turned to look at him, and Patton realized that he really must think Virgil was a threat. That also made Patton want to laugh. Virgil wouldn’t hurt a fly, not unless the fly hurt Patton first.  

 

“What did you do, Patton?  You seem very energetic,” Logan asked.  

 

“My family and I went to have a picnic!  We watched the sunset and it was so pretty,” Patton gushed, remembering the trees that framed the sky as it burst into flame.  Virgil had nearly cried, and Patton was never going to let that go. Ignoring the fact that he was  _ also  _ crying, of course.  How could Patton not cry at something so gorgeous?

 

The small talk and occasional banter continued, with Roman being uncharacteristically quiet, until Patton was trying very hard to stop himself from vibrating with anticipation.  He made quick eye contact with Virgil, who sharpened his gaze briefly as if to remind Patton to be  _ subtle _ , before turning to Roman and Logan.  He’s got this.  

 

Then he locked eyes with Roman and realized that he did not, in fact, ‘got this’.  He was a master at being subtle, if being subtle included waving at police cars as he passed them on the road despite forgetting to buckle his seatbelt because his memory really isn’t as good as it should be.   Which was to say, as much as he insisted to Virgil that he could be subtle, he very much could not. 

 

“So,” he said, his voice instinctively going up an octave.  Virgil winced out of the corner of his eye. “Do you two believe in ghosts?”

 

Ah.  Perfect.  Patton kept his smile wide and inquisitive, ignoring the fact that Virgil’s head had dropped onto the table and he was quietly muttering ‘I hate this I hate this I hate this’ over and over.  Logan barely glanced up at Patton before answering.

 

“No,” he said, matter-of-fact.  “There is no scientific basis and no logical reason why one would remain here after death.”

 

Patton ‘hmm’ed in response, deciding not to disagree for now despite the amused look forming on Virgil’s face, before turning to Roman, who was staring rather intently at the ‘empty’ seat diagonal from him.  Now or never, was he going to spill something?  

 

“Yes,” He said, after a moment of silence, very clearly looking at Virgil.  Patton’s grin widened and he gave a sigh of relief.

 

“Jeez,  _ finally _ ,” He said, watching Roman turn to him in confusion.  “You, sir, are a tough nut to crack, I’m telling ya.”

 

“I’m-  _ what _ ?” Roman looked baffled, and Patton leaned a little more onto the table.

 

“I mean, it’s been weeks and only now do we get you actually  _ admit it _ !” Patton would be lying if he said that he didn’t find the look on Roman’s face to be hysterical.  

 

“Admit what?  What have I admitted?” 

 

“That you can see him!” Patton said, noticing that Virgil had slightly raised his head and was watching cautiously from under his hood, his eyes dark as they looked back and forth between Patton and Roman.  There was a pause as Roman looked back at Virgil, his eyes narrowing.

 

“Wait...you- you know?” Roman sounded completely exasperated, and Patton couldn’t help but giggle.  

 

“Of course I do, silly,” he said.  “ _ And _ , I know that you think he’s all spooky and dangerous.”

 

“He’s been following you for two months now, looking at everyone like  _ that _ , what else was I supposed to think?” Roman defended himself.  “Are you saying that you  _ don’t  _ want me to help you be not haunted?”

 

“Hell no,” Virgil said darkly, causing Roman to stiffen and whirl to face him.  Patton sighed.

 

“Language…” He chided.  Virgil frowned, eyes falling to the table.

 

“Sorry,” He muttered.  

 

“Roman, honestly?” Logan suddenly cut in, sighing in annoyance.  “I know you’re committed, but dragging Patton into this is incredibly unnecessary.”

 

Patton looked to Roman in confusion, and the other boy pinched the bridge of his nose.

 

“Do you really think I would do that?” He replied to Logan, before turning to Patton and looking at him with a rather tired expression.  “Let’s just say that I’ve been trying to introduce Logan to this whole spirit thing for a few years now.”

 

“Well, he’ll get there, I’m sure,” Patton whispered with an encouraging nudge to Roman’s side.  “And no, I don’t need any help. We’re just fine.”

 

“I haven’t been following him for two months,” Virgil found his voice, sitting back up and crossing his arms over his chest.  Roman scoffed.

 

“Sure, tell that to the  _ two months  _ that I’ve been watching you walk around at his heels like a guard dog.”  Roman seemed to think that was a joke, but both Patton and Virgil knew that he technically was a guard dog.  And Virgil was fine with that job.  

 

“I’ve been following him for thirteen  _ years _ , idiot,” Virgil finished.  Patton reached over to lightly swat his arm.

 

“Virgil!  That was not nice, you apologize!” He insisted, and Virgil groaned.

 

“You’re not dad, Patton, c’mon.”  He tried to glare at Patton, but after a few seconds of stern glances, he scowled and turned to Roman.  “Sorry, I guess.”

 

“Good enough,” Patton nodded.  Roman was looking back and forth between the two of them in bewilderment.  Patton could see Virgil struggling to not start laughing, and Patton was having trouble with that himself.  

 

“I’m sorry, but what exactly is going  _ on  _ here?” Roman asked, gesturing emphatically with his hands and narrowly missing hitting Logan’s lunch.  Logan, who had been quiet for quite some time, had pulled out a book and was completely ignoring the other inhabitants of the table.  

 

“Sorry, I guess we kind of owe you an explanation,” Patton admitted.  Virgil shrugged.

 

“Not really.”

 

“ _ Virgil _ .”

 

“Fine, fine, go ahead and tell him,” Virgil waved Patton off and rested his chin in his hand.  Patton gave him a small smile and turned back to Roman.

 

“Right.  So...this is Virgil,” He started.  Virgil raised a hand slightly.

 

“‘Sup, princey,” He said, stifling a grin at the indignant sputtering coming from Roman at the nickname.

 

“He’s my brother!” Patton finished with a bright grin.  Roman instantly froze, his face falling a little as he looked back at Patton.  Virgil recognized that look. It was the same look their parents had gotten years ago after realizing Virgil was still around.  It was the same look that Valerie had when Virgil actually got the courage to tell her who Patton was. Sympathy, confusion, and understanding all rolled into one facial expression.  With a sigh, Virgil took off his hood and looked at Roman head on for the first time. Roman looked a bit taken aback.  

 

“I...oh,” He said, looking between them again with a new sense of clarity on his face.  “Are you...twins?”

 

“Wow, got it in one.  What are you, a detective?” Virgil raised his eyebrows, only looking away after an exasperated glance from Patton.  

 

“I’m sorry,” Roman said, and Virgil froze.  That wasn’t the response he was expecting. Patton smiled softly and reached out to take Virgil’s hand, looking at Roman with a bit of gratitude in his eyes.

 

“Thanks, but it’s alright.  We’ve had a while to get used to it,” He replied.  Virgil leaned his arms onto the table and made eye contact with Roman.

 

“Unless you’re apologizing for scaring the crap out of me a month ago, in which case, I haven’t quite forgiven you yet.” He wasn’t gonna forgive Roman for that until he knew for sure that the other boy wasn’t planning anything.  Roman rolled his eyes, but shrugged.

 

“I wasn’t apologizing for that, but I...suppose I should.  Just because you look like the embodiment of a storm cloud doesn’t mean you’re vengeful, and I guess I might have possibly jumped to a conclusion,” He said, looking as if the words themselves hurt to say.  

 

“You don’t like to admit you’re wrong, do you?” Virgil shot back, enjoying the embarrassed blaze that spread across Roman’s face.  

 

“I- well- I’ll have you know that-” Roman was cut off by Logan shutting his book with a loud sigh.

 

“ _ Roman _ ,” he said.  “If you would be so kind as to take this tomfoolery somewhere where it doesn’t disturb my reading?” 

 

“Sorry, Logan,” Roman sighed, shooting both Patton and Virgil an exasperated look.  Virgil motioned towards Logan.

 

“So what’s up with him?” He asked.  “Does he seriously think you just talk to nothing to mess with him?”

 

Roman gave a short nod.  Virgil smirked and reached over, dangerously close to Logan’s water bottle.  

 

“I can give him a little, uh, nudge?” He offered, hand hovering next to the water bottle and a mischievous expression on his face.  Roman hid a smile but shook his head.  

 

_ ‘It won’t work _ ’, he mouthed.  Virgil raised his eyebrows, and Patton was just as confused.  Would Logan really not believe even if Virgil directly interacted with him?  Patton wanted to see what would happen. Luckily for him, Virgil seemed spurred on by the fact that if Logan didn’t believe a ghost did it, only Roman would get chastised for it.  So he lightly knocked over Logan’s water bottle, causing it to hit the table with a  _ clang _ .

 

Roman gave Virgil a glare, which Virgil returned with a wide-eyed, innocent look.  

 

“I slipped,” He said.  Logan looked up, rolling his eyes.

 

“Really, Roman?  Jostling the table so I think a ‘spirit’ knocked over my water?  I know you’re dedicated to this ruse, but that’s just immature.” He then went back to his book as Virgil tried very hard to not start laughing in front of Roman.  

 

Roman put his head in his hands.

 

“This is a  _ nightmare _ ,” He groaned.  Patton grinned, patting his back.

 

“Aw c’mon, it’s not that bad.  Why don’t you come over to my house after school?” He asked, ignoring the frantic ‘no’ motions from Virgil.  “That’ll get you back in the  _ spirit _ .”

 

A chorus of groans was his only answer.

 

Yet somehow, much to Virgil’s annoyance, Roman ended up walking next to them as they made their way home.


	9. I Won't Say I Don't Hate Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title is pretty self-explanatory :)

Patton and Virgil’s parents were absolutely  _ thrilled _ when the two of them brought Roman into the house.  To put it lightly. Patton had never really brought home a friend before, and when it came out that Roman could talk to Virgil too, well, they loved him.  It didn’t help that he was very good at charming parents, and soon the three boys had fresh cookies being baked while they went up to the attic to talk.  

 

As soon as the door was shut, Roman began talking.

 

“Okay, so let me get this straight,” he said, giggling a little to himself for some reason before growing serious again, “you thought that he was alive for ten years?”

 

“In my defense, I  _ can  _ touch him.  And he’s a naturally quiet person!” Patton said.  “It wasn’t too much of a stretch for me to think that.”

 

“In his defense, I thought I was alive too,” Virgil added, not noticing the flash of sympathy that crossed Roman’s face.  

 

“I mean, I guess that makes sense, it’s just...fascinating,” Roman continued.  Virgil bristled.

 

“Glad to know my existence is so interesting to you,” His voice grew a little hard, but Roman just rolled his eyes.

 

“That’s not what I meant, Mr. Dark and Gloomy, I mostly meant the fact that you two can physically interact with each other.”

 

“Wait, does that not come with ‘the sight’ or whatever?” Virgil asked, hating that Roman knew more about spirits than Virgil did.  Virgil was the dead one after all. Roman shook his head.

 

“No, try it,” He said, holding out his arm to Virgil.  Cautiously, Virgil reached out his hand. Much like with his parents, his hand passed right through Roman, who shivered a little bit at the chill.  “See? All I can do is see you and talk to you.”

 

“So why am I different?” Patton asked.  Roman shrugged.

 

“All I have are guesses, I don’t know for sure.”

 

“What guesses?” Virgil asked, trying to seem as uninterested as possible.  He didn’t want Roman to know how curious he actually was about all this stuff, stuff he felt he should know already.  

 

“I mean, people joke that twins have some sort of psychic connection, right?” Roman suggested.  “That could be why you two are sort of connected. Why Patton can see you when he doesn’t have the Sight.”

 

“Ooh!  Twin powers!” Patton clapped his hands together excitedly.  “Virge, maybe we can talk telepathically!”

 

“I don’t think you want me to be able to broadcast my thoughts to you all the time, Patton,” Virgil countered, but Patton waved him off.

 

“You can do that anyway, no one else hears you.  I think it’s you who doesn’t want  _ me  _ to be able to talk to you all day,” he returned with a smug grin.  

 

“It would be a punishment worse than death,” He agreed, deadpan.  Patton pouted until Virgil sighed and leaned against his shoulder.  There was silence for a minute. Until Patton grew impatient and shifted to sit upright.

 

“So, who wants to play a game?”

 

* * *

 

“Admit it, he’s fun to be around!” Patton flopped back on the bed, grinning at the glare coming from Virgil.  Roman had left an hour ago, just before dinner, and Patton hadn’t gotten the chance to tease Virgil yet.  

 

“Just because he’s not actively trying to hurt either of us doesn’t mean I suddenly like him,” Virgil shot back, but Patton wasn’t so easily swayed.

 

“Yeah, but you had fun,” He turned on his side to face Virgil.  “And if you had fun, then you don’t hate him. And if you don’t hate him then you basically like him already and c’mon just admit he’s kind of a friend now!”

 

“I’m not calling him my friend, Patton.”  Virgil rolled his eyes.  

 

“But you don’t hate him!” Patton seemed slightly smug, and Virgil glared at him from behind his bangs.

 

“Never said that.”

 

“You didn’t have to, I know you,” Patton grinned widely.  Virgil scoffed.

 

“Obviously not as well as you think you do, because I definitely still hate him.”

 

“Sure you do, you little angel of darkness,” Patton ruffled Virgil’s hair before his brother could shove him away.

 

“Stop calling me that!  I am  _ not  _ an angel,” Virgil protested, scowling in a way that Patton would describe as more pouting.  

 

“Right, right, of course you’re not, you’re a big tough mean ghost who’s gonna insist he has no friends despite being wrong,” Patton leaned in fast to poke Virgil’s nose, causing him to let out an undignified yelp as he almost fell off the bed trying to scoot backwards.  He sat back up with a huff.

 

“He’s not  _ awful _ ,” He acquiesced with a shrug.  “That’s all you’re getting.”

 

“I’ll take it!” Patton clapped his hands together.  The two of them sat back against the headboard of the bed in silence, until Patton broke it with a giggle.

 

“What’s so funny?” Virgil asked.  Patton sighed in mirth and pushed his glasses back up his nose.  

 

“I was just remembering lunch again,” He laughed.  Virgil looked at him in confusion.

 

“And that makes you laugh?” He asked, ignoring that most things made Patton laugh.  

 

“Well, I was mostly remembering Logan’s reaction to all that…” Patton amended, and Virgil’s face cleared as he nodded in agreement.  

 

“Ok, yeah, that was pretty funny.”

 

“Roman said he’s been trying to convince him for years!” Patton let out another snort of laughter.

 

“That poor guy is gonna be on his deathbed years from now, turn into a ghost because of some mysterious reason, and finally realize that he’s been wrong his whole life,” Virgil shook his head.  “I do not want to be there when that happens.”

 

“Maybe his unfinished business will  _ be  _ realizing that ghosts are real, and so he doesn’t actually have time to be mad about it?” Patton suggested.

 

“For his sake, I hope that’s it,” Virgil laughed softly.  Patton grinned smugly.

 

“Virgil, is that... _ affection _ in your voice?  Do you like Logan too?  Is he your friend too?” He teased.  Virgil flushed as much as he could, his face going the slightest bit pink.  

 

“What?  No! He can’t even see me, why would he be my friend?” He protested.

 

“Aha!  You’ve stopped arguing against Roman being a friend!”

 

“ _ No I haven’t!”  _ Virgil’s voice went up about two octaves, and he immediately pulled his hood over his head and pulled the strings until none of his face was visible.

 

“Aw c’mon, there’s no need for hoodie town, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about!” Patton lightly nudged Virgil’s shoulder, but his brother didn’t react.  “Virge? Are you gonna leave your hoodie?”

 

“No.” 

 

“Not even to sleep?”

 

“I don’t need to sleep.”

 

“Fine, I’ll stop teasing you about actually having friends,” Patton rescinded, pouting.  “How about now?”

“Virgil can’t come to the phone right now,” The voice through the ghostly hoodie was muffled.

 

“Why?”

 

“Because he’s dead,” He replied, barely holding back laughter.  Patton wasn’t as successful.

 

“Stop using that joke!” He tried to be mad, but was laughing too much to be convincing.  “It’s getting old!”

 

“Yeah, that’s not happening,” Virgil finally loosened the strings of his hood and pulled it back down, grinning a little as Patton flopped against the pillows.

 

“Ok I’ll leave you alone if you admit one thing,” Patton said.  Virgil sighed, but leaned back till he was laying beside Patton.  

 

“What?”

 

“It’s nice having someone to talk to besides me, isn’t it?” Patton’s voice was soft, affectionate and understanding.  Virgil wanted to say no, because Patton was the only person he  _ needed  _ to be close to and talk to.  But he knew that Patton wouldn’t take an affirmative answer as Virgil not needing him.  Patton knew that even if the rest of the world could see Virgil, if he was alive, they would still be thick as thieves.  Virgil couldn’t lie to Patton no matter how much he wanted to. When he answered, his voice was quiet.

 

“Yeah.”  He whispered.  “It is.”

 

* * *

 

Winter break came with barely any fanfare, and the new friend group had settled into a fairly easy routine.  Patton would go about his life as usual, sitting at the usual table at lunch and studying with Roman after school.  Virgil would keep following Patton around because he did genuinely want to learn, but he occasionally left Patton alone if either Roman or Valerie started talking to him.  It didn’t stop him from worrying about Patton while he wasn’t there, but nothing bad ever happened and so Virgil slowly grew more okay with it. Roman would occasionally talk to Virgil in the hallways, or write his own notes during classes, and he hung out with Patton and Virgil after school more often.  And Logan...Logan continued to bring books and tune them out during lunch as they ‘prolonged the childish charade’ of talking to Virgil. It became almost humorous, the adamancy that he retained no matter how long they kept talking at an empty seat.  

 

So because of this new routine, it was rather common for the doorbell to the Sanders’s house to ring with Roman standing behind it.  Virgil always complained, but he did like having someone else who knew he was there and could actually look at him. Patton had long since stopped pushing him to admit that Roman was a friend, letting Virgil insist he was  _ Patton’s  _ friend and merely an annoyance of Virgil’s.  

 

However, what wasn’t common was Roman ringing the doorbell on a day which he knew perfectly well that Patton wasn’t home.  Patton had felt bad about seemingly excluding Logan from their conversations, however happy he seemed to bury his nose in a book the size of his head, and so he had asked the other boy if he wanted to hang out over the break.  The two of them were off somewhere, Virgil hanging back so that Patton could be completely detached from the ghost ‘ruse’. And yet, here Roman was, at noon on a Saturday, standing on Virgil’s front step as his mom opened the door.  

 

“Ah, Roman!  I’m afraid Patton isn’t home today, if you were looking for him,” She said.  Virgil was sitting on the couch, listening intently despite his eyes trained on the TV.  He didn’t take offence to his mom not mentioning him, because she had bought completely into the idea that Virgil and Roman weren’t friends.  Which was true, of course! Virgil and Roman weren’t friends! Virgil didn’t need any more friends, and certainly not ones who could talk to him!  So it was only natural and totally correct for Virgil’s mom to assume Roman was there for Patton. So why did he reply saying that he was there to hang out with Virgil?

 

Virgil poked his head over the couch just in time to see the slightly confused but pleased look on his mom’s face as she let Roman into the house.  Roman’s eyes then fell on Virgil as he peered over the back of the couch, and he waved slightly. Virgil’s eyes narrowed but he reluctantly raised his own hand in response.  He got up slowly off the couch, his hood falling down to his shoulders, and made a show of tiredly stretching as if to make sure Roman knew he wasn’t expected and was intruding on time that Virgil could spend sleeping.  Not that he was sleeping, but he could have been and that was the point. But Roman waited as patiently as he could, staring around the living room with his foot tapping a lively beat onto the carpet until Virgil groaned and told him to cut that out.  

 

“You know where my room is, why didn’t you wait up there?” He grumbled as he started leading Roman up the stairs.  Roman shrugged.

 

“It would feel weird being in there without you or Patton,” he said.  Virgil fell silent, annoyed by the validity of that answer. It wasn’t until he was leaning back against his wall while sitting on his bed, Roman sitting on the end of the bed, that he spoke again.

 

“So why are you here?” He asked.  Roman looked at him.  

 

“What, I can’t visit my friend while his brother is off pacifying my skeptic bestie?” He asked in response.  Virgil frowned a little.  

 

“No, you can’t, because your friend is the one pacifying Logan.”

 

“Huh?  No, Virgil, I meant you,” Roman clarified, causing Virgil to sigh.  

 

“You and Patton are friends.  We aren’t friends,” He stated.  It was a little blunt, sure, but it was the truth.  At least, Virgil knew it was the truth until Roman’s face seemed to fall.

 

“I- we aren’t?” he seemed stunned, or maybe a little hurt.  Virgil’s frown suddenly deepened for a different reason. He never wanted to make Roman  _ upset _ .  He just didn’t want Roman to care about him!  He was dead, he didn’t need friends! But Roman’s genuine confusion had thrown him.  

“...no?” He said, but his voice was less sure than it had been.  Roman pulled his legs up onto the bed and faced Virgil.

 

“Why?” He asked, and Virgil looked down at the sheets.  This was just perfect. A talk about emotions! Virgil’s least favorite thing.  

 

“Because you’re annoying,” He started, “and just because you can talk to me doesn’t mean I’m gonna throw myself at your feet and beg to be your friend.  I don’t do friends, anyway.”

 

“Oh.  Is Patton your friend?”

 

“He doesn’t count.” Virgil couldn’t imagine not being close to Patton.  They both needed each other. Roman hummed in response.  

 

“I like having friends,” Roman said.  “Even if it’s not the same level of friendship with each of them, they all mean something to me.  And it’s nice to know that I mean something to them.”

 

“I know what you’re trying to do, Roman, and it’s not going to work.” Virgil rolled his eyes.  

 

“I’m just saying!  It’s nice to matter to someone that you’re not related to.”

 

“I don’t  _ matter _ , Roman,” Virgil’s eyes shot up to glare at Roman, some hot anger suddenly flaring to the surface now that Patton wasn’t there to diffuse it.  Now that Patton wasn’t around for Virgil to worry about, to distract himself from everything he didn’t like to think about. “I am  _ dead,  _ for  _ fuck’s _ sake, and I will never truly matter to anyone who isn’t my parents, or Patton for the remainder of his hopefully long and happy life!  I’m fine with that, so stop trying to make me wish for something I can’t have!”

 

The room echoed with the silence after Virgil stopped talking.  Roman was watching him, and Virgil couldn’t look for fear that he would see pity in the other boy’s eyes.  He couldn’t handle pity right now. Not from Roman.  

 

“...You matter to me,” Roman said, hesitant to break the quiet.  Virgil rested his head on his knees.

 

“Don’t, Roman.  Just...don’t.”

 

“No.  I won’t let you sit there and assume that you’ll be stuck following Patton like a lonely puppy for decades!” Roman insisted.  “Why would I keep talking to you during class or lunch and letting Logan think I’m either insane or messing with him if I didn’t care at all about you?  It’s been months since I thought you were evil, if I didn’t  _ want  _ to talk to you, I wouldn’t!”

 

“Why on earth do you care about me?  I’m a ghost, and I feel like I’m one bad thing away from snapping and going vengeful.” Virgil was always terrified of that possibility.  He was also terrified that his fear was the only thing actually keeping him from losing himself. Roman scoffed a little.

 

“You?  Vengeful?  Don’t get me wrong, storm cloud, vengeful spirits are a dangerous bunch and I avoid them at all costs.  But they also usually have a distinctive pattern to when they snap. I mean, there are exceptions for sure, but generally the reasons are pretty similar.  They’ve either been a spirit for too long with nobody to talk to and go stir crazy, they grow tired of trying to finish whatever business they need to do, or that business becomes impossible to complete,” Roman explained, moving a little closer to try and get Virgil to lift his head.  “With Patton and I around, the first one is impossible, and the other two just don’t seem likely. Granted, I don’t know what your unfinished business  _ is _ , but I doubt Patton would let you just stop trying.”

 

“But-”

 

“-As for the ghost thing,” Roman cut him off, “who cares?  I’ve talked to spirits my entire life, it’s old hat to me by now.”

 

“I just...don’t get it.” Virgil absolutely hated how quiet and pathetic his voice was.  It was nice to know that Roman didn’t think he would go vengeful, but he still couldn’t wrap his head around why the other boy actually wanted to be friends with a dead kid.  And Virgil couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that Roman actually seemed to be helping a little bit. After his outburst, Virgil had expected Roman to realize what a handful he was to deal with, unloading all the things he never told Patton.  The fact that he sometimes wasn’t entirely okay with his pseudo-life. But Roman was actually  _ comforting him _ .

 

Was this...something a friend did?  

 

“Honestly?  I don’t quite get it either,” Roman admitted, finally making Virgil look up at him in confusion.  “I mean, I’ve never had a friend quite as...angsty as you. But I like talking to you, I like watching the way you interact with Patton, and I would like to  _ keep  _ talking to you and hanging out with you.  Even without Patton.”

 

Virgil had no response.  

 

“Also, be my friend or I tell Patton you said the fuck word,” Roman said, shrugging.  Virgil groaned and wished he could slap Roman upside the head.  

 

“Are those my only options?” He grumbled.  

 

“Yes.  Do you always curse when he’s not around?  Because that’s hysterical,” Roman continued.  

 

“I know, I’m laughing so hard right now,” Virgil glared at Roman.  “I still don’t like the idea of friends.”

 

“Alright, listen,” Roman sighed, running a hand through his hair.  “I get that you don’t feel like you can mean something to someone who’s alive.  But death doesn’t take away what makes you  _ you _ .  And you seem like a guy who, despite looking like a reject from the emo convention, cares a lot.  And I get now that what I first saw as anger was actually fear, because high school is scary and you were protecting Patton, and I get that.  I’m an older sibling too. Just...everyone deserves a little light, and thinking that you can only be close to Patton is cutting you off from yours.”

 

Virgil didn’t know what to say.  Roman was really trying this hard to convince him that he cared?  He didn’t want to, but he felt himself cave. He had ‘lived’ thirteen years with no one to talk to but Patton and no one who cared but his family.  He didn’t need anything else.

 

But maybe...maybe he wanted it. 

 

“Fine,” He mumbled.  Roman lit up.

 

“Really?”

 

“Fine, yes, we’re friends.  You can’t take that back now,” Virgil tried to hide the shakiness of his voice, hoping that Roman couldn’t see that he was actually very nervous about Roman changing his mind.  But Roman just grinned and laughed.

 

“You can’t take it back either, alright?  You’re stuck with me now,” He winked. Virgil groaned and rolled his eyes.  

 

“I want a refund.”

 

“Sorry, you need the receipt for a return, and also we don’t do returns.  Have a  _ great  _ day.”

 

Virgil covered his hand with his mouth to stop from snickering.  He and Roman continued their snark-off until the sun began to set, when Roman sighed and said he had to go home.  He smiled at Virgil, this one not teasing but just soft.

 

“I’ll see you later, friend.”

 

Virgil rolled his eyes, but found himself almost smiling back.

 

“Yeah.  See you...friend.”

 

Virgil watched as Roman walked down the stairs, and he was struck with a thought.  

 

He hadn’t worried about Patton in hours.  Patton was away from him, out of his sight, and Virgil was... _ happy _ .  There were no panicked glances at clocks or long minutes spent pacing the hallways.  Virgil stared at the wall.

 

Maybe a friend really was a good thing.

 

* * *

 

“So, I’ve been meaning to ask you something,” Roman started, laying back on the grass.  The two of them were lying in the field next to the school, hanging out while Patton had gone off to the library with Logan to read.  Or something. Those two had been hanging out a lot more, something which had made Logan stop spending the entire lunch period reading and had made Patton and Roman switch seats so that the two of them could talk easier.  Logan still sent annoyed glances at Roman as he talked to Virgil, but he was mostly preoccupied by Patton. Now that summer had arrived and they were no longer in school, the library had become the meeting place for the four of them, but more often than not it was only used by two at a time.  

 

“What?” Virgil replied, mirroring Roman’s position in the grass.  His hood was pulled down over his eyes so that the sun wasn’t too bright.  Even still he could just sense that Roman was doing something stupid like making a flower crown with the small white weeds scattered through the grass.  

 

“It’s just...why  _ do  _ you just follow Patton around all day?  I mean, I get the protection thing, I do, but even the last week of school when literally nothing was happening in classes, you still stuck around instead of going and like, talking to other spirits?” He asked.  “I’m just curious.”

 

Virgil frowned.  He didn’t really get what Roman was asking.

 

“What else am I going to do?” He asked back.  He heard Roman sit up.

 

“Well, the other spirits around the school are mostly really nice.  Or...I don’t know how much you’ve looked into your unfinished business but I’m sure some of them would be happy to help you.  I could help you too, if you want.” 

 

Virgil sighed, holding back a laugh at Roman’s expense and sitting up.  He took his hood off to look at Roman. He briefly noticed that there was indeed a small chain of weeds in Roman’s hand, but that wasn’t important.  

 

“Have you really not realized what my unfinished business is yet?” He asked.  At Roman’s confused look, he shook his head. “Unbelievable.”

 

“Well I’m sorry that you don’t give many hints about it!” Roman defended himself.  “If it’s difficult, then maybe I can help!”

 

“Roman, I died when I was one, how complicated could it possibly be?” Virgil was finding it hard to not start laughing.  His business had been obvious to him as soon as he realized that it existed.  

 

“Well alright then, what—”

 

“—You dramatic, theatrical,  _ idiot _ ,” Virgil rolled his eyes, trying not to sound too mean and more teasing.  “It’s  _ Patton _ .”

 

“Oh.” Roman was quiet.  

 

“Yeah.  I might not have been old enough to actually know him when I died, but we were already connected.  I’m here because of him, I’m here because I’m supposed to be with him.” Virgil remembered the night that he told Patton this.  His brother had instantly started crying, and he had hugged Virgil while insisting that they would both live full lives as best they could.  Patton promised that he would make sure he didn’t have any unfinished business, so that when he died and Virgil moved on, they would be together wherever that took them.  Virgil thought that sounded nice.  

 

“Your unfinished business is to...live,” Roman seemed fascinated by that, and Virgil let a wry smile quirk onto his face.  

 

“As long as Patton is safe, we both get to grow up together,” He said.  “I think I got a pretty okay deal, all in all.”

 

“Well, I’m glad that means you’ll be around for a while,” Roman lifted his arm as if to punch Virgil on the shoulder, but then he paused and put his hand back down.  Virgil frowned and his gaze dropped to the ground.  

 

“Yeah, I will be.  And I’m gonna help Patton be great.”

 

“Aw, look at that.  Virgil’s got a big ol’ heart, huh?” Roman grinned.

 

“Shut up, I’m not allowed to care about my brother?” Virgil rolled his eyes as Roman turned back to his flower crown.  

 

“Yeah, yeah, sure, you only care about Patton.  Tell that to when you found Logan’s glasses for him and put them right by his books.  Bet you thought I didn’t notice that? You even care about him and he’s never said a word to you.  Doesn’t that bother you?” 

 

“No.  It’s not his fault, if I were in his position I probably wouldn’t believe you either.” Virgil shrugged.  “Pretty sure that if he could interact with me, we could get along.”

 

“Softie.”

 

“I hate you.”

 

“No you don’t.”

 

“...Whatever.”


	10. Now You See Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snake Boy makes a Big mistake....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and this is where deceit is in this for .005 seconds but he manages to make a big impact
> 
> super early upload today bc im going on a trip, and itll be early again this saturday but i hope yall enjoy!!!

Sophomore year started out fine.  Patton, Roman, and Logan were all pleased to find out that they shared quite a few classes, which made Virgil happy too.  In classes that Patton shared with Roman, Virgil was able to talk to both of them, muttering remarks in order to try and get Roman to laugh while keeping Patton from getting in trouble.  It became a hobby of sorts.  

 

Patton and Virgil’s house became the spot for the four kids to hang out, mostly because Virgil didn’t like going to new places and so Patton always made excuses which Roman always backed up.  Logan didn’t seem to mind, never complaining much. Virgil did find it a little awkward to have everyone hanging out, because at least when Patton and Roman were the only ones there, Virgil could have his own piece in whatever board game they picked.  Patton liked board games a lot, and so did Virgil. Unfortunately, so did Logan, which meant that they played games a lot when Logan was around, and Virgil had to just watch and whisper tips to Patton and ignore glares from Roman when he got too loud with his cheating.  But Virgil didn’t mind, because he knew it wasn’t Logan’s fault. And Patton always made time to hang out and talk with him after Logan left, making sure Virgil didn’t feel left out.  

 

Virgil could feel himself calming down a little.  Sure, school in general was going to make Patton stressed, and therefore Virgil too, but other than that nothing bad had ever happened while Patton was at school.  He still kept an eye out, but both him and Patton were getting a little more relaxed. The school was familiar now. Virgil knew which pathways would get Patton out of the building quickly in case of emergencies, which stairwells to avoid in order to preserve Patton’s innocence, and which teachers he should advise Patton to avoid when picking classes.  School was something he felt he could handle now. Virgil even stopped glaring away every other spirit, letting them smile at him as they passed him in the hallways.  

But that didn’t mean that Virgil completely let his guard down.  He was still vigilant about protecting Patton, despite never actually having anything big to protect him from.  

 

Until today.

 

“Pat, take the other hallway,” Virgil warned, walking back to where Patton was getting his stuff out of his locker.  It was the end of the day, the hallways were packed, and Patton taking the other way would add a good five or maybe ten minutes to their trip home.  But Virgil had a very bad feeling.  

 

“Huh? Why?” Patton muttered quietly.  Virgil crossed his arms and leaned against the wall.  

 

“I see Dee.  He doesn’t look happy.”  Virgil had been thrilled when the rest of their freshman year had been free of that jerk.  He hadn’t been happy to lose Patton as an easy member of his posse to make fun of, but he didn’t try anything.  However, Virgil saw him lurking in the main hallway, and his face was dark. Whatever put him in a bad mood didn’t matter, Virgil didn’t want Patton having to deal with an angry Dee.  

 

“Virgil, I pass Dee in the hallway every day!” Patton whispered as he swung his backpack onto his shoulder and closed his locker.  “I think he’s forgotten me, honestly.”

 

“Patton, I just don’t think it’s a good idea to pass him right now, he seems really pissed off.”

 

“I get that, and I’ll keep my head down, but remember Roman and Logan were gonna come over today?  We don’t want to keep them waiting for us!”

 

“For  _ you _ , in Logan’s case,” Virgil corrected, sighing.  “Just...be quick. Go in the crowd.”

 

“I will.  Thanks for the heads up, Virge,” Patton gave him a small smile before making his way through the pack of students all desperate to get home for the weekend.  He adjusted his backpack before rounding the corner, lowering his head so he was shorter than most of the people in the hallway. Dee was right where Virgil had seen him, leaning against the wall of lockers with a dark scowl on his face and two of his cronies on either side of him.  His sharp eyes were scanning the waves of students, looking for trouble. Dee specialized in trouble, one of the many reasons that Virgil was happy Patton had stopped hanging out with him. Luckily, Dee seemed to pass right over Patton as he made his way in front of his sneering former friend.  Virgil let out a sigh of relief, and Patton gave him a small grin.

 

“See?” He whispered.  “Easy peasy, lemon—”

 

“—Hey, Sanders!” Dee’s loud voice cut through the murmur of the crowd, causing Patton to stop in his tracks and Virgil to pale.  Patton hadn’t gone as unnoticed as either of them had hoped. At the sound of the boy’s voice, the other students in the hall picked up the pace, knowing that it was smarter for them to clear out than stay and possibly get dragged into it too.  

 

“Hey, Dee!” Patton smiled brightly, despite the slight whitening of his knuckles around his backpack straps.  “How was your summer?”

 

Dee stopped in front of Patton with a sinister grin on his face.  His eyes, one dark brown and the other nearing a golden color, narrowed as his smile widened.

 

“My summer was just  _ fantastic _ , Patton.  Now care to fill me in on why I see you, walking totally alone in this hallway as neither one of your shiny new friends is around, yet still...talking?  I saw your lips move, yet there was no one with you. Do you...talk to yourself?” Dee asked, his voice holding no pretense of actual interest. Virgil put his hand on Patton’s shoulder, knowing that if he was alive, his heart would be beating out of his chest.  

 

“I- well, I wouldn’t exactly put it like  _ that _ , per se, but…” Patton struggled for what to say, but Dee didn’t seem to really be listening.

 

“See the only two options I see here are simple.  Either you talk to yourself, which is weird and frankly something that would make me wish I had kicked you out of my group before you left.  Or you see things that aren’t there. Are you crazy, Patton?” Dee taunted. Virgil tried not to tighten his grip on Patton’s shoulder in anger, but from the light wince, he wasn’t successful.  

 

“Look!  He flinched,” one of Dee’s cronies laughed.  Virgil didn’t care enough about him to remember his name.  “That’s practically an admission right there!”

 

The hallway was mostly empty at this point, with a few brave souls sticking around and peering around the corner.  Virgil wished they would step in, but he understood not wanting Dee’s glare turned on them. Still, Virgil wished he could do something more to help than stand behind Patton like a horrible guard dog.  

 

“So that’s it, hm?” Dee sneered.  “Seems like Patton’s got something funky going on with his brain, hm?  He’s a little psycho?”

 

“I’m not crazy!  But besides that, some people really do see things that aren’t there and it’s not something to use as an insult, it’s a serious thing!” Patton stepped only slightly backwards, just enough that he was more in contact with Virgil.  His eyes were scared, but determined. Virgil couldn’t help but sigh. Of course being considerate would be what caused Patton to talk back to Dee.  

 

“Oh is it now?” Dee said in mock surprise.  “I’m  _ so sorry _ , Patton, I care  _ so much  _ about that.”

 

“You should!  It’s not nice to use serious mental illnesses as insults!”  Patton just wasn’t stopping. Dee stepped forward, until he was around a foot away from Patton.  

 

“Y’know, I’m glad you decided to leave our little group for your new band of idiots,” He said, causing Virgil to scowl.  Only  _ he  _ got to call Roman an idiot.  And calling Logan an idiot was just factually incorrect.  “After all, now I don’t even have to pretend to be nice to you.  I can call it like it is. You’re just a naive, stupid boy who talks to himself because he can’t actually make friends.”

 

And then he put his hand on Patton’s chest and shoved.  Patton tried to grab Virgil’s hand as his feet tangled beneath him, but Virgil was preoccupied with glaring at Dee.  The instant Dee had pushed Patton, Virgil saw red. And he felt something new, something that had never coursed through his ghostly body before today.  Something fresh, invigorating, red-hot, and  _ terrifying _ .

 

Rage.  He was so  _ furious _ .  He felt it coiling in his stomach like an angry snake, hissing and raring to bite.  He felt it boil, bubbling to the surface and manifesting in a furious sneer on his face and hell in his eyes.  He was willing to let it go when Dee claimed Patton was crazy, because everyone important knew that it wasn’t true.  He was even willing to let Dee insulting Roman and Logan go. But  _ nobody _ called Patton stupid,  _ nobody _ talked like that to his brother, and absolutely  _ nobody _ touched Patton like that.  Virgil couldn’t even look at Patton sprawled shocked on the tile, his eyes glued to Dee like bullets.  

 

The rage built the longer Dee smirked.  It roared, it flamed, and it spread through Virgil’s entire body.  Patton was his world, the whole reason he existed.

 

Virgil would never let anyone hurt him.  

 

He noticed something was wrong when Dee’s face changed to one of shock, confusion, and terror.  He knew something was wrong because nothing scared Dee. But then Virgil realized where he was looking.  Where  _ everyone  _ was looking.  

 

Everyone was looking at Virgil, and Virgil felt powerful.  They could all see him, for once they all knew where he was, and he was going to take full advantage of that.  He stepped forward, feeling the springs of his body so tightly wound and heated beyond the breaking point that he wouldn’t be surprised if they snapped and sent his fist right into Dee’s face.  But they didn’t, and he stopped inches away from a frozen Dee. His burning fury seemed to thaw him a little, and Dee tried to step back. But Virgil sharpened his glare, rooting him once more to the floor.

 

“ _ If you fucking touch him again, _ ” Virgil hissed, his voice deeper than he was used to and echoing through the air, “ _ I will fucking kill you _ .”

 

The good news was that Dee scrambled backwards and, in his haste, fell directly onto his ass.  If Virgil was in any clearer of a state of mind, he would have laughed at that. But he wasn’t, so he just stared as Dee got to his feet and ran.  The bad news was that as soon as he and his goons vanished in terror around the corner, Virgil wanted to follow them. He wasn’t satisfied with Dee feeling scared, he wanted Dee to hurt like he tried to hurt Patton.  He felt his hand curl into a fist, the flame of his rage flickering and urging him to just end it and make sure Dee could never hurt Patton again. It would be easy. Virgil could do things that the living couldn’t, after all.  

 

Yes, that was what he had to do.  Patton needed him, after all, and right now he needed Virgil to make sure that this wouldn’t happen again.  That was Virgil’s job. The protector, the avenger, the one who did what ensured Patton’s safety.  

 

He took a step forward, but a hand wrapped itself around his wrist and pulled him back.  He whirled around, glaring at whoever would dare keep him from his revenge, seeing—

 

Patton.  Patton was looking him in the eyes, silently pleading.  The glare softened the instant he looked at his brother’s scared face, but he still tried to tug his arm out of his grip.  

 

“Hey, it’s okay now!” Patton was urging, voice quiet like he was trying to soothe a caged animal.  “I don’t think Dee is gonna try that again, you don’t have to follow him!”

 

Virgil was going to respond, inform him that he  _ had  _ to, he had to make sure Dee couldn’t hurt anyone ever again but most importantly Patton.  But his eyes caught on something over Patton’s shoulder. Two somethings. Two somethings that he knew.  

 

Roman was striding over towards him, some spark of determination in his eyes that overrode whatever fear he felt at seeing Virgil so infuriated.  Virgil didn’t want to listen to him, he didn’t need Roman’s ‘expertise’ about spirits. He knew that he was more powerful now than he was before, and he needed to use that for something before it went away!  Roman stopped next to Patton and put his hand out to rest as close as he could get to Virgil’s shoulder, but Virgil ripped away from him. Neither of them knew if Roman would be able to touch Virgil when he was like this, but Virgil didn’t care enough about that to let him try.  

 

“Virgil, you need to calm down,” he said softly.  Virgil didn’t answer, he just glared at Roman. “I’m serious, you’re losing control here.”

 

“I’m  _ fine _ ,” Virgil snapped, but just having the two of them so close to him was starting to make the fiery rage shrink a little.

 

“Virge, I’m alright, I’m not hurt.  Thank you for standing up for me, but I really just want to go home now, I don’t want you to hurt them,” Patton insisted, an affectionate smile on his face as he moved his hand to entwine with Virgil’s, rather than grip his wrist.  

 

“There we go,” Roman said, and this time Virgil didn’t fight back when he moved his hand so that it passed briefly through Virgil’s arm.  The chill seemed to reverberate through his body, reaching the burning pit of rage inside of him and beating it back. Virgil had felt corporeal earlier, when he was threatening Dee, but now that Roman couldn’t touch him, he figured he must have flickered back out of view for everyone else.  Virgil’s breathing slowed. “You had me scared, storm cloud, you almost went vengeful on us.”

 

That made the fire vanish in a puff of metaphorical smoke.  Virgil turned to Roman with wide eyes.  

 

“...I did?” He whispered.  That was what that was? That was what going vengeful felt like?  No wonder some spirits got trapped like that. It was intoxicating.  “But I thought...you said…”

 

“Yeah, I did, but I guess it can happen if you get angry enough. But, we seem to be fine now.  Are you okay?” Roman asked, and Virgil hesitated before nodding. He felt fine, but...it turned out that it was a lot easier than he expected to snap like that.  All it took was...okay, no, not thinking about that. Even just thinking about it made him start to be angry again.  

 

“Can...can we go home?” Virgil asked Patton, who nudged Virgil gently with his shoulder and nodded happily.

 

“Of course!  We have a movie night to get to, after all.” Patton motioned towards the exit with his head, but all that accomplished was alerting Virgil to the lone figure standing in the doorway.  

 

Logan looked shellshocked.  Putting it lightly. He was looking frantically between Patton and Virgil, his eyes wide and confused and curious with only a little bit of fear.  Virgil couldn’t help the sympathetic smile on his face. 

 

“I think we might start movie night a little later than expected, Pat,” he said, and Roman followed Virgil’s gaze with a wince.  

 

“Oh.  Right.  I forgot he was there.” Roman waved awkwardly at Logan, who took that as his cue to turn on his heel and walk out of the school.  “Aw man, alright, he’s gonna be stubborn about this. Come on you two, we’ve got some explaining to do if he’s willing to listen.”

 

Patton and Virgil followed Roman hastily out the door to find Logan waiting for them against a pillar.  He was silent, meeting Roman’s eyes before starting to walk again down their normal path. Roman sighed and sped up until he was next to Logan, with the two twins taking the back of the formation.  

 

“So…” Roman started, running a hand through his hair.  “I hope this means you believe me now?”

 

Logan seemed to flounder for words for a moment.

 

“I mean, it still makes no scientific sense, but I trust my own senses.  I saw what I saw, which was…”

 

“A spirit.  His name is Virgil.” Roman stuck his hands in his pockets as he tried not to look like he cared too much about the conversation.  But his eyes gave him away, frantically flicking between Logan and his various surroundings.  

 

“You really weren’t tricking me all these years,” Logan mused, his arms crossed and his eyes locked on the ground.

 

“He wasn’t,” Patton added.  “But I get why you thought he was.  It’s kind of a lot.”

 

“You can...see them too?” Logan asked, glancing back quickly at Patton, who chuckled.

 

“No.  Just Virgil, because we’re twins.  But I can’t see any others.”

 

“...Right,” Logan frowned briefly as he looked forward again. Virgil knew that with his inquisitive nature, that topic would be revisited once Logan had gotten the chance to absorb all the information.   “I believe…that I owe you an apology, Roman.”

 

“No, Logan, you really don’t.” Roman waved him off. “I shouldn’t have pushed it so much, it was only normal for you not to believe me.”

 

“Still.  I apologize, Roman.  I should have trusted you on something this important to you,” Logan looked over at Roman.  “Especially after years had passed.”

 

“Really, Lo, it’s fine.  I’m honestly just happy that now I can explain things to you and you’ll know I’m not pulling it out of thin air.” Roman gave a small grin.  

 

“I have many questions,” Logan said. 

 

“We have answers,” Patton replied with a bright smile.  

 

“And all this took to happen was me almost losing control,” Virgil added wryly, messing with the sleeves of his hoodie.  Patton reached over to take his hand again.

 

“I probably would have done the same thing if someone hurt you, don’t beat yourself up about that, Virgil,” Patton assured him.  “Although, we do need to have a discussion about your language.”

 

“Oh boy,” Virgil groaned.  Roman turned with a grin.

 

“Did Virgil curse again?” He asked, meeting Virgil’s eyes teasingly.  Virgil scowled at him, already sighing as Patton’s jaw dropped and he turned on Roman in disbelief.

 

“ _ Again _ ?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh logan........finally am i right


	11. The Guardian Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's not just Logan who knows about Virgil...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> early upload again! hope you enjoy :)

“So, wait, you said you were twins?” Logan asked, his face lost in thought as his foot tapped absently on the ground.  It had been an hour since Logan was brought up to Virgil and Patton’s bedroom to explain everything. Logan had been...surprisingly accepting of it all.  But it made sense, since he actually did  _ see  _ Virgil.  The brothers decided not to share that detail with their parents yet, since neither of them wanted to remind their parents that they didn’t know what Virgil looked like.  It was a fact that Virgil sometimes forgot, and one that made Patton wish he was better at art.  

 

“Yeah, identical,” Patton answered patiently.  There had been a few speed bumps when Logan got lost on a tangent about the scientific aspect of it all, something that none of the other boys understood, but he at least seemed interested in it all.  Roman had explained the whole situation from earlier in the day, repeating a few parts at Logan’s request, and the concept of Virgil’s anger leading to him losing some control seemed to fascinate him. Virgil wasn’t thrilled with that area of discussion, but at least Logan didn’t think he was fake anymore.  

 

“Is that why he is still here?  The, to put it mildly convolutedly, intertwined nature of your relationship?” Logan asked, and Virgil smirked.

 

“Pat, tell him that he got it in one, and that it took Roman months to figure that out,” He said, causing Roman to pout.

 

“That’s not fair!  I wasn’t thinking about that!” He protested, but Patton ignored him in favor of passing on Virgil’s message and then high-fiving his brother.  Logan raised his eyebrows at Roman.

 

“Really, Roman?  And here I thought you were supposed to be an expert on this.” 

 

“I never claimed to be an  _ expert _ ,” Roman said, his face flushing a little.  “I just know more than the three of you.”

 

“Humble, too,” Virgil remarked at the same time as Logan.  Virgil knew that Logan couldn’t see the quick grin sent his way, but he still did it.  

 

“It’s just a fact!” Roman rolled his eyes.

 

“Who’s the dead one here?” Virgil asked, and Roman scoffed.

 

“ _ Please _ , that doesn’t give you knowledge automatically.”

 

“And yet, somehow, I’ve survived this existence for years before your Royal Annoyance showed up,” Virgil shot back. 

 

“Do you have  _ any  _ gratitude for the information I’ve given you over the past year?” Roman asked.

 

“Of course I do!  Weird though, it all seemed to have been localized to one spot, it seems to be my middle—”

 

“— _ Virgil! _ ” Patton interrupted Virgil with a light swat on the arm and a disapproving look.  Virgil sighed and lowered his hand, meeting Roman’s eyes with a slight grin. Roman was frowning, but the rest of his face showed his amusement.  

 

“Fascinating,” Logan said, looking back and forth between Roman, Patton, and the spot that they were both looking at, where Virgil sat.  Virgil suddenly felt a little self conscious from Logan’s observing, but he knew that it wasn’t meant badly. “So, hypothetically, if the thing tying Virgil to this plane wasn’t simply his connection with Patton, would he be trying to move on?”

 

Logan was mumbling to himself, but Roman reached over and nudged his shoulder.

 

“Lo, you can ask him yourself, y’know,” He whispered loudly.  Logan cleared his throat.  

 

“Oh, yes, I suppose you’re right.”

 

“Don’t bother, I know the answer,” Patton said, smiling at Virgil.  Virgil knew that their answers were the same. “And it’s a pretty emphatic ‘no’.”

 

“Really?  If I might ask, why not?” Logan leaned forward in his chair.  Virgil reached down to the floor and grabbed the whiteboard from where it had been discarded after his last conversation with his parents.  He didn’t take long before he turned the board around to face a wide-eyed Logan, revealing four simple words.

 

_ I’m not leaving him. _

 

“Ah.  That makes sense.”

 

“Wait, Logan, say I had gotten Virgil to use that board earlier, would you still think it was a prank?” Roman interrupted the train of thought, looking mildly affronted.  Logan shrugged.

 

“Probably.  It would be entirely my sense of denial kicking in, which I can admit was responsible for much of my disbelief over the years, but I would most likely have found a way to blame you,” He answered, causing Roman to laugh and shake his head.  “To be honest, the reason that I was forced to see the truth today was because you were right with me when I...saw Virgil. There was no way that you could be behind that, because you walked in with me.”

 

“Well then I’m glad I didn’t go meet Patton at his classroom,” Roman said.  Patton grinned.

 

“I don’t think Dee will be bothering us anytime soon either,” He giggled.  Virgil dropped his head into his hands, groaning.

 

“Ugh, I forgot how many people saw me,” He grumbled.  “They’re all gonna be talking about me on Monday.”

 

“At least they can’t talk  _ to you _ about it, Virge,” Patton tried to cheer him up, “instead they’ll be directing all the questions at me!”

 

“Because that’s better,” Virgil huffed.  “I guess you’re right.”

 

“I’m always right!” Patton beamed.  Logan scoffed.

 

“That is incredibly factually inaccurate.  Just the other day you insisted that flamingos are pink because humans wanted to make them look pretty,” He said, crossing his arms.  

 

“Well, I’m still right in my mind,” Patton replied, causing Logan to sigh.

 

“That’s not how science works, Patton,” he sounded like he had been through his exact conversation far too many times.  Virgil could empathize.

 

“Someone tell Logan that I know his pain,” He said.  “And that I have many embarrassing Patton stories should he want them.”

 

“ _ Roman don’t you dare—” _

 

“Logan!” Roman barely avoided the flying Patton that was trying to tackle him, instead hiding behind Logan’s chair as he hastily passed on Virgil’s message with a bright grin.  Patton was scowling playfully, stealing Roman’s seat with a pout. Logan turned to the spot that he had deduced was Virgil’s, a small grin playing on his face.

 

“I will absolutely take you up on those stories, Virgil.”

 

Virgil felt that he was completely correct on his earlier assumption.  He and Logan were going to get along fabulously.

  
  


* * *

 

“There he is!”

 

“Do you think it’s there?”

 

“I heard it had red eyes.”

 

“ _ I  _ heard It was as tall as two people!”

 

“No way, that’s impossible.”

 

“This is all impossible!”

 

“Shh!  He’s coming closer!”

 

Virgil had pulled his hood tight around his ears the instant they reached school property, but the rumors reached his ears anyway.  Students were clustered into their friend groups, staring as Patton walked closer to the school. Sure enough, word of the confrontation with Dee had spread like wildfire, alerting the whole school to the existence of Virgil.  He just wanted them to stop. To stop talking about him, stop theorizing about him, just  _ stop _ .  But the whispers continued.  People just kept talking, and talking, and staring, and whispering.  

 

So much staring.  

 

“I hope no one finds us,” Roman said as he sat down on the stairs.  They had all decided to eat lunch away from the cafeteria after seeing how many eyes were consistently trained on Patton throughout every class.  So they snuck Patton into one of the more abandoned stairwells, with Virgil causing a small distraction by just shutting off the lights in the hallway.  They knew that as soon as they left after lunch, the eyes would be on them again, as Roman was also a target of interest due to him clearly talking to Virgil.  They all just wanted a little peace and quiet. Just half an hour.

 

“Honestly?  This is worse than when Dee was being a jerk,” Virgil groaned, leaning back against the wall.  Roman shrugged.

 

“I don’t know, Dee actually could have done something.  They’re all just curious out there. I think they’re all scared of you, Virgil.”

 

“Heh, imagine being scared of Virgil,” Patton giggled, and Virgil gasped indignantly.

 

“Excuse you!  I am plenty scary!  I’m a literal ghost!  People dress up as me for halloween!”

 

“Sure, I see so many little kids traipsing around on halloween in oversized hoodies and MCR t-shirts,” Roman grinned.  

 

“I do not wear MCR shirts!  I’m not emo!” Virgil crossed his arms with a huff.

 

“You kind of are, though,” Roman rebutted.  “Y’know, with all the black. And the angsty attitude.  And kind of the whole spirit thing too.”

 

“Well this isn’t my fault, I can’t change this.” Virgil gestured down at the same outfit he’d been wearing for fifteen years now.  It had undergone small changes over the years, like growing bigger as he and Patton got older, or the addition of the small pride flag on the back after he and Patton had a serious discussion the previous year.  The flag that had appeared when Patton put a matching one on his backpack. But mostly, it stayed completely the same.  

 

“Have you tried?” Logan said, after Roman had caught him up on the spiritual side of the conversation.  Virgil suddenly fell silent. Admittedly, he hadn’t. Did he want to change his look? He kind of liked the black, and he loved the hoodie.  It made him feel comfortable, and safe. So that was staying. But Roman was right, it was a  _ lot _ of black.  

 

“No one tell Logan he was right,” Virgil said, immediately hearing both Patton and Roman telling Logan that he was right.  “I hate you both.”

 

“Stop lying, you love us,” Roman waved away Virgil’s protests, as Patton nudged Virgil with his shoulder.

 

“No pressure, Virge!  We’ll love whatever you decide to do, and even if it doesn’t work, you already look great!” He encouraged with a grin.  Virgil gave him a small smile.  

 

“Thanks, Pat.  I’ll think about it.”

 

Virgil was honestly surprised at how quickly Logan became acclimated to Virgil’s existence.  Patton and Virgil had introduced him to the system that they use in their house, and so Logan had spent some time asking Virgil some questions by himself while Patton and Roman talked.  The whiteboard had also come in handy, but the curiosity of Logan was the biggest help as they got Logan used to the idea of a friend he couldn’t see.  

 

Yeah, Logan was a friend.  Virgil had realized that as much as he had protested against it, he did want friends.  And that was something he could have! Even if Logan couldn’t hear him or see him, he was still willing to talk to him, and Virgil realized that being friends wasn’t out of the question.  Hell, if he and  _ Roman  _ could be officially friends…

 

But that's not entirely true, because Virgil actually really liked having Roman as a friend.  What was once annoyance became amusement, and what was suspicion became affection. Roman would risk detention or strange looks just to roll his eyes at Virgil mid-class, and he would invite Virgil to watch the theater rehearsals while Patton was busy.  Virgil had yet to take him up on that, but he was tempted at times.  

 

Virgil had friends.  And he was wondering how he thought he could make it through this facsimile of a life without them.  

 

* * *

 

“Ok, this is getting annoying,” Patton grumbled as he dropped his backpack on the floor as ignored the stares from the rest of the class.  It had been three days. Not one person had spoken to Patton about the incident last week, they just whispered, watched, and waited. Waiting for what, neither he nor Virgil could figure out, but it was finally getting on Patton’s nerves.  

 

“It’s been annoying.  What are you thinking about doing about it?” Virgil replied, sitting on the edge of Patton’s desk.  Patton thought for a moment as he got his things out and arranged on his desk, before pulling a blank page out of his notebook and scrawling a note in the top corner.

 

_ Go big or go home, right?  _ He wrote.  Virgil frowned.

 

“Patton?  Patton, what does that mean?  Between go big or go home, I will always advocate for  _ going home _ ,” Virgil tried to meet Patton’s eyes, but Patton was paying a suspicious amount of attention to the teacher.  “Patton look at me. Don’t go big. Don’t do it.”

 

_ Too late, my mind is set :P _

 

“Putting a fun little face at the end of your sentence doesn’t make it any less ominous, you know that right?” Virgil raised his eyebrows.  “I know you know that.”

 

Patton didn’t answer.  Virgil sighed, stewing for a minute before crossing his arms in a huff.

 

“Fine.  Do what you want, they’re all staring at you anyway,” He scowled.  “Is your plan to tell them all the truth?”

 

_ Not all of them.  Just Talyn. _

 

“But they write the-  _ oh _ ,” Virgil put his face in his hands.  “If you tell them, they’ll tell the entire school.”

 

A nudge to his side was his confirmation.

 

“It’s smart, I guess.  Doesn’t mean I like it,” He sighed.  “Just...don’t tell them everything.”

 

There was silence, but Virgil could tell exactly what question Patton was asking him.

 

“I don’t know,” he replied.  “Maybe don’t tell them that I’m your brother?”

 

The tip of Patton’s pencil broke as he pressed too hard in surprise.

 

_ Why?  _ He wrote in the margins.   _ I mean, of course if you don’t want me to, but why? _

 

“It just feels, you know, personal,” Virgil muttered.  “It’s our  _ thing _ , y’know?  And anyways, if everyone knows I’m family, then they might not take it as seriously when it’s me protecting you.”

 

A small nod from Patton and a small smile on his face came as an answer.  Virgil felt relief flood through him. Patton always took his fears seriously, and Virgil could never thank him enough for that.  

 

After class, Patton was weaving through the crowds to catch Talyn before they left for the day.  But he quickly found them leaning against a wall by the main entrance, and they looked up as Patton approached.  Their face immediately brightened in recognition and their eyes widened.

 

“Oh!  H-hey, Patton, right?  Hi! I’m Talyn!” They exclaimed, excited.  Patton laughed.

 

“Yeah, I wanted to talk to you,” He said.  

 

“Do you want an interview? I could totally make a spot for you in the next issue of the—”

 

“—No, no, no interview!” Patton waved away the offer.  “Sorry, but I - um, we...don’t want that.”

 

“Thank you,” Virgil said.  Talyn’s eyes had narrowed in interest at the use of ‘we’, however.

 

“So, what  _ did  _ you want to talk to me about?” They asked, not-so-subtly taking a notepad out of their backpack pocket.  Patton shrugged.

 

“I just wanted you to set the record straight for everyone!” He stated.  “There seem to be a bunch of rumors flying around, and some of them are down-right weird.”

 

“Have you heard the one where it’s actually a space alien that can turn invisible and is mind-controlling you?” Talyn grinned.  “That’s my favorite.”

 

“Ok first off,” Patton said, giggling a little, “it’s ‘he’, not ‘it’.  Second, how on earth did someone come up with that?”

 

“I don’t know, but it’s funny,” Talyn shrugged.  “So, what’s the real story?”

 

“Well, I mostly don’t want anyone to be scared, because he’s not gonna hurt anyone!” Patton started emphatically, but Virgil groaned.

 

“Pat!  We want them to still know I’m protecting you!”

 

“I’m getting there!” Patton whispered, attracting the interest of Talyn once more, but they didn’t say anything. Patton turned back to them with an apologetic smile.  “The thing is, he’s here to protect me. That’s why the incident on Friday happened.”

 

“Ah, when Dee was being...himself.”

 

“Um, yeah,” Patton frowned a little.  “Anyway, that’s basically it. I just don’t want people to think he’s gonna hurt anyone.  Especially for no reason.”

 

“Makes sense,” Talyn agreed, writing a note on the pad.  “Does he have a name?”

 

“No.” Virgil crossed his arms.  At a side-eye from Patton, he sighed.  “The attention being on you is annoying but bearable, I don’t want the whole school knowing my name!”

 

It was a little petty and a little childish, but Virgil was annoyed enough that everyone knew about him.  At least he could control  _ what  _ they knew about him.  Patton gave him a small, understanding smile and turned back to Talyn.  

 

“Yeah, he does,” He started, ignoring the indignant look that Virgil was glaring through him.  

 

“Patton, seriously, I—”

 

“—It’s Rain.”

 

The protests melted off of Virgil’s face, replaced instead with something resembling light nostalgia.  Memories of quiet attic nights, of loud storms and bonds formed in the dark. Of a scared boy finding his brother, years before they knew they were blood.

 

When the next school paper bore the headline ‘ _ PATTON SANDERS’S GUARDIAN ANGEL - NO RAIN OF TERROR HERE!’ _ , Virgil couldn’t even find it in himself to be annoyed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heads up: i might miss the tuesday upload this week? Maybe . But ill update as soon as i can!
> 
> Also, to the very lovely person who sent me an ask on tumblr about this fic: i am v e r y sorry that i didn’t see it!! i need to check my inbox more often :/. but thank you so much i’m glad you love the story!!!


	12. A Spark of Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new ally makes an appearance?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> theres a character in this chapter that i dont want to spoil but uhhhh,,,,,I cannot write him. so sorry about that, I wish i had a better grasp of his character! anyway, i hope you enjoy :)

The newspaper article did wonders for the random stares that both Patton and Roman were getting in the hallways.  Even just the simple act of knowing that yes, there was something weird going on and yes, it was safe seemed to make everyone calm down a little.  Instead of hushed mutterings and harsh stares across the classroom, Patton got small smiles from strangers and intrigued glances in the hallways. Roman had managed to get completely ignored after Patton talked to Talyn, people mostly forgot about his involvement after they got a few more answers.  Virgil thought that he was lucky, but he seemed to be a little jealous of all the attention that Patton was getting, which was absurd. Virgil also got looked at, but it was small glances of sympathy and support from the other spirits in the halls. He wasn’t all that opposed to that development.

 

Then there was the actual downside.  

 

“Hey, Patton,” A random kid stopped by Patton’s desk before math started.  Patton glanced up at him and smiled.

 

“Hey there!  What can I do for you?” He asked.  The kid paused and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

 

“I was just, uh, wondering...when did, um,  _ he  _ appear?” The kid was clearly nervous, which almost made Virgil feel bad for him if he wasn’t so annoyed by the question.  It almost made Virgil wish that Patton had done a full interview with Talyn, but unfortunately neither of them were comfortable with that.  Patton, however, didn’t show any annoyance he might have been feeling, instead smiling lightly at the kid.

 

“Rain’s been there as long as I can remember,” He answered, and the kid nodded.  He didn’t ask anything else, he just thanked Patton and rushed off to his seat in the back of the class.  

 

This was the aftermath of Virgil’s existence being confirmed by Patton.  People weren’t staring and theorizing, which was great, but instead they were actively coming up to Patton and asking him questions.   _ Strangers _ were asking things about Virgil, and Patton was answering them!  Granted, he was being as vague as he could, and he never said Virgil’s real name or that they were twins, but still.  It put Virgil on edge.  

 

Patton had just sighed when Virgil told him that, replying that  _ everything  _ put Virgil on edge.  Just because it was true didn’t mean Virgil had to like the answer.  

 

However, another upside to Patton having to answer all these curious questions about Virgil was that Virgil sometimes wanted to be anywhere but where Patton was.  Usually he kept following his brother, doing his job and watching out. But on the occasions where Patton got swarmed by a few insatiable students, Virgil just couldn’t handle all the questions.  So he gave Patton an encouraging pat on the back and got the heck out of there. And as soon as he was out of Patton’s earshot, he got the  _ hell  _ out of there.  He found wherever Roman was, and he hung out there until he thought the coast was clear.  

 

Oftentimes Logan would be there too, and Virgil soon discovered a new favorite pastime.  Working together with Logan to roast Roman. Logan knew all the embarrassing Roman stories, and happily traded them for embarrassing Patton stories.  Roman was the begrudging go-between, forced to listen to Logan recount his tales, and then dragged by both of them into repeating Virgil’s story for Logan.  

 

For the story of Patton getting stuck in a fence trying to pet a dog, Virgil got the story of Roman not realizing a girl was hitting on him until she got so fed up that she just left.  Roman was particularly defensive of that one, since she ‘really should have known I was gay, seriously!’

 

“Yes, Roman, we know,” Logan sighed, leaning against the classroom wall.  The two of them were in history, and had been paired for an assignment that Logan already finished, letting the two of them talk with Virgil unnoticed.  “You’ve only asked us to tell you what parts of your personality point to heterosexuality five times now.”

 

“Like you can talk, Mr. ‘It’s scientifically proven that boys are prettier’,” Roman scoffed.  

 

“I had  _ facts _ .”

 

“You wrote a twelve-page thesis that boiled down to your teenage sexuality crisis, Logan,” Roman corrected.  “One of your sources was listed as ‘common sense’.”

 

“Common Sense is a pamphlet written by Thomas Paine before the American revolution,” Logan stated.  Roman just frowned at him, crossing his arms.

 

“Were you quoting Thomas Paine in your essay?”

Logan sat in silence, stewing under Roman’s gaze for a few moments before caving.

 

“...No.”

 

“Exactly.”

 

Virgil did wish sometimes that Logan could see him, or at least hear him, but he knew that he was lucky to have the friendship that he did.  He would make do with the limitations that he had, since Roman had regretfully told him that there was no way he knew of to give someone the Sight.  Logan would just have to live with the fact that he had a friend he couldn’t see or hear or feel. And Virgil would have to keep using either Roman or Patton to talk to him.  

 

But he wasn’t lonely, even when Patton wasn’t there, and so he was fine.  

 

* * *

 

“For real?” The girl lit up at Patton’s answer, and he laughed.

 

“Yeah, I can talk to him.  We’ve gotten close over the years,” He elaborated.  The girl seemed thrilled at the answer, and thanked Patton again before rushing out of the empty classroom.  Patton had come up with this idea earlier in the day. Rather than keep being interrupted by people with questions throughout the day, he would just spread the word that he would be after school to talk to whoever wanted to talk to him.  Virgil obviously wasn’t a fan, but he was less of a fan of the random interruptions, and so he sighed and agreed that it was a better plan.  

 

The room was empty for only two minutes until another girl shyly poked her head into the room.  Patton greeted her brightly, like he did everyone, and she slowly relaxed as she made her way into the classroom and sat down across from Patton.  

 

“So, whaddya wanna know?” Patton asked, leaning slightly onto the table.  From looking at him, you would never be able to tell that he was also nervous about this whole thing.  But Virgil knew. And so he wasn’t leaving this time, he stayed behind Patton with a hand on his shoulder for the whole hour he stayed after school.  This girl was the last one today.  

 

“Oh, um, does your family know about him?  Or is he like, a secret?” She asked, her voice almost a whisper.  Patton glanced at Virgil quickly before smiling at the girl.

 

“Yeah, my family knows.  I’d say at this point, he’s basically a member of the family.”

 

Patton chuckled, unable to stop himself as he skirted around the fact that Virgil was  _ actually  _ a member of the family.  Patton had told Virgil that he wouldn’t tell anyone, but if someone figured anything out and asked him about it directly, he wasn’t going to lie about it.  Virgil hadn’t been happy, but he understood why Patton wanted that to be a rule, and so he wasn’t going to fight him on it. Not when he knew everything that his brother had done for him over the years.  

 

“That sounds nice…” The girl whispered, looking down at the table.  Patton shared a small, worried look with Virgil.

 

“Are you alright?” Patton asked.  The girl hugged her arms close to her chest, but looked up at Patton with a wistful smile.

 

“Yeah.  I’m alright,” She said.  “I just wish I had someone like that protecting me.”

 

“I’m sure you have someone looking out for you, even if you don’t know it,” Patton reassured her, reaching out to place a hand over hers.  The girl closed her eyes briefly.

 

“I hope you’re right,” She said.  Then she stood up and left the room, leaving silence in her wake.  Patton was still for a few minutes, staring at the closed door until Virgil lightly pulled him out of his seat.  

 

“C’mon, Roman and Logan are waiting,” He said softly.  

 

“But—”

 

“—I know, I get it.  But...there’s nothing we can do.”  Virgil, in his mind, was thinking of every bad scenario that could cause that girl to wish for a ‘guardian angel’.  Every horrible situation she could possibly be in. But if he was acting as a guardian, then part of that job was protecting Patton from those thoughts too.  And so he would hold onto them, even though it hurt to think about, because he was used to it and could handle it. Patton didn’t deserve to have to worry about that girl, not when he had plans to go to the park with his friends.  

 

That didn’t stop Roman and Logan from instantly noticing that something was wrong, however, and so they ended up recounting the story to the two of them.  Roman was sympathetic, while Logan became quiet and thoughtful. But once the story was told, Patton seemed a little more himself, and by the time the four of them made it to the park, he was smiling brightly once again.  

 

“Patton!  I bet you I can make it up that tree first!” Roman called, jumping off of his seat on the picnic table and breaking off into a run with Patton quickly at his heels.  The tree in question was the largest in the park, with large winding branches that made quite the ladder to the top. It was decorated for every season, currently wrapped in multicolored fairy lights that flickered and flashed in the halloween spirit.  It would be a few more weeks before they were changed to Christmas lights.

 

“That’s not fair!  You had a head start!” Patton called after him, trying to regain his lost ground.  Virgil sighed.

 

“Neither of you had better fall and die, or I’ll kill you!” He shouted.  He heard Patton laugh loudly.

 

“If I die, I’ll be sure to come back for you, Virge!” He yelled back.  Virgil tried to keep the scowl on his face, but the genuine conviction in his brother’s voice caused it to flicker into a smile.  Logan turned to face the spot that he had been told contained Virgil.

 

“Don’t worry, if Roman dies, I’ll take the responsibility of bringing him back and killing him again.  You can take Patton,” He said with a wry grin. Virgil couldn’t help a laugh, knowing that Logan couldn’t hear it.  He reached down to Patton’s discarded backpack and pulled out the whiteboard, setting it flat on the table.

 

_ Good to know.  I don’t know if I’d want to deal with trying to reanimate Roman.  His zombie would be too dramatic. _

 

Logan pushed his glasses up his nose, his eyes flashing with amusement.

 

“I’m picturing him using his own skull to reenact Hamlet.  I wouldn’t put it past him.”

 

_ Honestly?  I’d pay to see that. _

 

“It would be quite creative, if literally impossible.”

 

_ Careful, Logan.  You know how Roman gets when he hears you say the ‘i’ word.  _

 

Logan looked up hurriedly to see Roman halfway up the tree, Patton hot on his heels but struggling on the taller branches.  Roman was calling something down to him, but the two boys at the table couldn’t hear any of it.  

 

“Virgil?” He asked.  Virgil wrote a question mark on the board and quickly erased it so he had room to write.  Logan looked over, frowning a little. “Forgive me if this is too personal, but I have been wondering.  How did you die?”

 

Virgil paused, not expecting that.  His lips flickered into a frown, turning to the whiteboard, the empty surface as blank as his life.  As empty as his potential.  

 

_ Murder.  _ He wrote, following his instinct and deflecting.  Logan reeled backward.

 

“What?  Murder? You were...killed?”

 

_ Yep.  Stabbed in a Denny's parking lot.  I was twelve. It was just like ‘this might as well happen’ y’know. _

 

Logan read his words with a deep frown.

 

“I’m beginning to think you’re messing with me,” He said, looking back at Virgil.  Virgil chuckled and erased the words with his sleeve. It wasn’t that big of a deal, was it?  Sure, it was his death, but death was all he knew. It wasn’t anything huge, it was just a thing that happened that he couldn’t remember that has since impacted the entirety of his existence. 

 

_ Yeah, sorry.  Honestly, it was nothing big.  I was only 1. _

 

“Oh.  I’m...sorry.  You never even got to- sorry, I shouldn’t talk like that.” Logan cut himself off, which Virgil was thankful for.  He was all too aware he never got the chance to live, he didn’t need any more reminders of it.  

 

_ Thanks.  It’s fine. _

 

“If it helps, I’m glad that we can still be friends,” Logan said.  “If the circumstances were different, who is to say that this friend group would have been formed?  I think that your existence as a spirit has brought us all together. So, thank you.”

 

Virgil stared.

 

_ You’re...thanking me? _

 

Logan looked at him as if he was missing something big.

 

“Yes, of course.  Don’t tell Roman, but I’ve been worried for quite some time now that we would be each other’s only real friend.  I find it hard to connect with others, and he can come on...a little strong sometimes. There are only so many times one can fail at making a real connection before one just...gives up,” He explained.  “If you didn’t exist and draw Roman to Patton, then the four of us would not be friends. And we all would have missed out on something rather nice.”

 

Virgil didn’t know what to say.  If it was Patton, he would just hug him, but that wasn’t an option here.  Logan couldn’t even see the emotion on his face the way Roman could. So he settled for the best he could do.

 

_ In that case, you’re welcome for me dying.  _ He wrote.   _ I’m glad you and Roman are my friends too. _

 

He wanted to erase the words as soon as he wrote them, the admission feeling too powerful, like the instant he wrote the word ‘friends’, his connection to Roman and Logan would vanish in the wind.  Would leave him nearly alone again, no longer able to live with just Patton in his life. Having known something more, forced to go back to only having his brother at his side. But Logan just smiled.  Logan didn’t  _ smile _ too often.  Not like this.  It was a smile more reminiscent of Patton, one that told a story of honest emotions.  To see it on Logan’s face was something new, but Virgil felt honored that this was the first time he had seen it, and it was directed at him.  He just wished that Logan could see the honest smile that was sent back his way.  

 

It was then that Roman came jogging back to the table, boasting about his victory and asking how the ‘table nerds’ were doing.  Patton, having taken longer to climb back down the tree, snuck up behind Roman and jumped onto his back, bringing the both of them toppling to the ground.  

 

As Virgil laughed at Roman struggling to get out of Patton’s grip, he was glad that he had gotten to know something more than the lonely life he was living beforehand.  He was a part of something, and that felt good.

 

* * *

 

“Alright, last person, Pat!” Roman called into the room, closing the door behind a boy who sauntered over to the table and dropped into the seat.  Virgil frowned in his direction, the boy was wearing  _ sunglasses _ .  It was four in the afternoon, and they were inside.  

 

“Who wears sunglasses inside?  He looks like a tool,” Virgil muttered.  The guy smirked as Patton grinned brightly at him.  Patton was tired, it was clear. It had been a long day, with two different tests, but Patton had still wanted to stay after and answer questions.  The visitors had been slowing down as people got their answers, but there were still a handful of people every day Patton stayed after. It had become kind of a routine, and Virgil was still annoyed by the repeated questions, but less so than he had been.

 

“Hi!  Do you have a question?” Patton asked, trying to keep his voice chipper despite his tiredness.  

 

“‘Course I do, isn’t that why everyone is lining up to talk to you?” The guy raised his eyebrows over his sunglasses, his eyes still infuriatingly covered.  Patton giggled.

 

“Yeah, I guess so.  What is it?” 

 

“Well, I was curious how it felt to see something that no one else could,” The boy asked.  Patton frowned.

 

“Huh.  That’s an interesting question.”

 

“This is an interesting situation, hon,” The boy leaned his chin on his folded arms, somehow staring at Patton through his sunglasses.  

 

“Yeah, I guess it is,” Patton said.  “To answer your question...it can be weird.  When I forget that not everyone can see him and I want to talk to him, I have to remind myself and stop myself.  He’s so real to me that it’s so easy to forget that until two weeks ago none of you knew he existed.”

 

“Woah,” The boy said.  “That’s deep, girl.”

 

“Mostly though?” Patton continued.  “Mostly it’s just sad. Because he’s awesome!  He’s so kind, and caring, even if he doesn’t like to show it, and he just wants to be normal!  But y’know what? Normal is stupid.”

 

“Damn straight!” The boy grinned.  Patton, however, wasn’t finished yet.  The brightness in his eyes was dulled by his tired demeanor, but he pushed through with his answer.

 

“What even is normal?  Who deserves to say what’s normal?  Rain isn’t normal, but he’s one of the best people I’ve ever had the luck to know!  Sure, none of you all can see him, but I know he’s there, and I know how great he is, and so most of it is just me wondering what I did to deserve a brother as great as he is.” Patton crossed his arms to emphasize his closing statement.  He didn’t realize what he said until Virgil whispered a quiet curse that he must have thought Patton didn’t hear, and until the boy across from him frowned in confusion.

 

“Brother?” He asked.  Patton froze, his eyes widening.

 

“I mean, um, I- he’s not—”

 

“—Woah, hey, chill out there,” The boy waved his hands.  “I won’t tell anyone. You wanna keep it a secret, I’ll keep it on lock.  But, uh, now that I know...that actually makes this a whole lot more interesting.  I didn’t just come here to ask you that. Lemme give you something.”

 

The boy reached into his leather jacket and pulled out a card.  He slid it across the table like he was in a spy movie, staring at Patton.

 

“This card belongs to my cousin.  He’s been interested in spirits and all that junk for years now, and he’s been working on something that might interest you cats,” He said.  “Don’t worry, he’s not tryin’ to become a ghostbuster or anything like that.”

 

“What do you mean? What is he doing?” Patton managed to ask, mostly sitting stock-still in shock.  The boy shrugged.

“His main project right now is to bring a spirit back to life.  I thought that might interest you.” The boy pushed the card once more towards Patton, took his hand away, and lowered his sunglasses to wink.  Looking right at Virgil. Virgil gaped as the boy pushed his sunglasses back up and reached down into his backpack.

 

“Are you serious?  Is this real?” Patton was staring down at the card, enthralled.  The boy pulled something else out of his bag and leaned back onto the table.

 

“Real as Rain, my good man,” he grinned.  “But, I get you don’t know me and that your protector over there probably doesn’t trust me.  So I come bearing gifts.”

 

“Gifts?” Patton asked, exchanging a quick look with Virgil, who was still staring in shock at the boy across the table.  He was right, Virgil didn’t really trust him, but mostly he was still thinking about that wink.

 

“Well, ‘gift’, singular.  But yeah. I do my homework, hon,” The boy shrugged.  “I saw you and your little group, and I noticed that one of you seemed a little...disconnected from the spiritual member.  So I talked to my cousin and he made these.”

 

Pulling his hand up onto the table, he revealed a pair of eyeglasses.  He was holding them gingerly, touching them with his sleeve rather than his hand, and Virgil realized that the glasses were the same style as Logan’s.  Patton’s eyes widened and he reached out to take the glasses, but the boy pulled them away.

 

“No can do, there’s a trick with these,” The boy said.  “My cousin is good, but he’s not a miracle worker. If someone touches them before he does,” he pointed to Virgil, “then it all gets messed up.  I dunno how it works, but I know that it  _ does _ .”

 

“I don’t know, Logan does actually need his glasses to see,” Patton frowned.  The boy shrugged.

 

“They’re his prescription.”

 

“What?  How?” Patton floundered.  His eyebrows furrowed as he stared at the boy.  The boy chuckled.

 

“Told you.  I do my homework.  Spirit boy, hold out your hand,” He said, snapping Virgil out of his trance.  He stepped forward, gently taking the glasses out of the boy’s hand. He still couldn’t believe that this was happening.  First the boy could see him, then he said there might be a way to  _ bring Virgil back to life _ , and now he was helping Logan see Virgil?  This felt too good to be true.  

 

“I- this is...I don’t even know.  Thank you,” Patton said, and the boy leaned back in his chair.

 

“No big deal.  This helps my cousin too, he gets to make sure these glasses work.  Give him a call if you want, he’s really into all this stuff,” He said.  “Good luck with those.”

 

Then he got up, grabbing his bag off the ground, and strode purposefully to the door.

 

“Wait!” Virgil called, knowing that he would but still feeling a little surprised when the boy stopped at his voice.  The boy turned, lowering his sunglasses once again to look at Virgil intently. Virgil looked down at the glasses in his hand and then back up.  “I- What’s your name?”

 

He hadn’t cared about this kid until he realized he could see Virgil.  But now, it was one more person he might have on his side. The boy grinned.

 

“Remy.  See ya ‘round, girl.” 

 

Remy nodded at Virgil, gave a small, two-fingered salute, and then he was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jeez i cant write Remy,,,,,,,,and i know this might sound like its all too easy but uhhh, it wont be.   
> I hope you liked it though!


	13. Don't Make Me Want This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A deal is made.

When Patton handed Logan those glasses, Virgil didn’t want to get his hopes up.  He didn’t want to think about what might happen if Logan put those on and could see him, because then it would only hurt him when the glasses did nothing.  He didn’t want to hope, because this was something too good to hope for.  

 

But he still watched, holding a breath that he didn’t need to take, watching as Patton told Logan to try on the glasses.  He didn’t say anything about where he got them, never mentioning Remy and the business card that the brothers had yet to talk about.  Patton was smiling though, clearly getting his hopes up. Roman crossed his arms with a frown, watching in confusion as Logan took his normal glasses off and slid the new ones onto his nose.  

 

At first, nothing happened.  There was no gasping, no enlightened epiphany, no soft realization.  Virgil felt his small grin fall flat as Logan looked between Patton and Roman in confusion.  His mouth opened as if to ask Patton what was  _ supposed  _ to happen, when he looked a little to the right of Patton and froze.  

 

“Wait…” He said, and Patton followed his gaze giddily.  Logan met Virgil’s eyes for the first time. “Virgil?”

 

Virgil gave a small smile and a wave.  “Hey, Logan.”

 

Logan frowned and adjusted the glasses.

 

“I suppose it makes sense I can’t hear him still,” He said, his voice sounding resolved but still slightly disappointed.  “Is this real? I’m not dreaming, am I?”

 

“I can punch you, if you want,” Roman offered.  Logan pursed his lips.

 

“I’m pretty certain it’s ‘pinch’, Roman.” He didn’t look at Roman as he corrected him, too busy staring at Virgil.  Roman shrugged.

 

“Same difference.  Punch is more effective in my opinion.”

 

“You’re not dreaming, Logan!  They’re really working!” Patton was smiling widely, looking between Virgil and Logan as they looked at each other.  

 

“You know, I’ll say this only once,” Logan said.  “Roman, you were right.”

 

“Wait really?” Roman’s eyes widened.  “About what?”

 

“He really is quite emo,” Logan finished, a small grin flickering on his face as Virgil scowled at him.  Patton stopped him from making a rude gesture, but Logan got the gist.  

 

“I told you!  I’m glad you can finally see the shadowy figment of adorable darkness that is our Virgil,” Roman crossed his arms proudly.  Virgil broke his eye contact with Logan to glare at Roman.

 

“Patton, can you cover your ears?” He asked.  Patton pouted and shook his head.

 

“No.  I don’t want to know what you’re gonna say if I do, but you’re not gonna say it.”

 

“I’m just gonna say a few quick words, nothing bad I promise,” Virgil said, but Patton wasn’t having it.

 

“We still need to talk about your language, Virge, don’t go cursing Roman out now.” Patton nudged Virgil back towards Logan, sharing a small smile and a wink with Roman.  Virgil didn’t want to be distracted away from getting mad at Roman, but Logan was watching him with curiosity. Virgil cocked his head questioningly. Logan frowned.

 

“Virgil, do you know sign language?” He asked.  Virgil sighed and shook his head. He had no reason to know it, and no real way to learn it.  Logan nodded.

 

“I figured.  Would you like to learn?  It would help us communicate now,” He offered, and Virgil seemed to brighten.  He smiled a little, nodding to Logan with interest and intrigue in his eyes. Logan seemed thrilled to have someone to teach, and immediately moved to sit closer to Virgil, talking aloud as he began to show Virgil some basic signs.  Patton watched them as he moved to stand closer to Roman.  

 

“So where did you get those glasses again?” Roman asked.  Patton shrugged.

 

“A kid at school.  I’d tell you all of it, but Virgil and I haven’t even had time to talk about it yet and we really need to,” He said.  He wanted to show Roman the business card and gush about the possibility of bringing Virgil back to life, but at this point Patton wasn’t even positive if Virgil would want that.  If he had been dead for so long that life wasn’t something he was interested in anymore. Patton would be okay with whatever Virgil wanted, since it was his undeath that they were proposing, but he would have to be honest with himself.  He really wanted his brother alive again. And if it was at all possible...

 

“Some kid,” Roman replied, watching Logan and Virgil talk the best they could while sitting in the grass.  He wanted to be nervous, he wanted to be suspicious of those glasses and the kid that gave them to Patton. But Logan was watching Virgil with a look that Roman knew all too well, the look he got when he started a new project or when Roman finally understood something that Logan had been trying to teach him for hours.  A bit of excitement, a bit of pride, and a whole lot of affection. Roman had gotten used to how hard it was to get Logan to show he cared, and so he had learned to appreciate the small moments, the small smiles and favors that Logan insisted he didn’t have to repay. This, right here? This was a big moment. Logan was happy, and Virgil looked relaxed as he watched Logan’s signs intently.  Both of them looked as close to thrilled as either of them got.  

 

Roman couldn’t take that from them.  He might be the hero if he brought up the suspicion of the glasses, but he might be the villain too.  

 

And he didn’t know if being the hero was worth it if it meant wiping the smiles off of his two most sullen best friend’s faces.  

 

* * *

 

“So, Virge,” Patton started.  He took the business card out of his bag and put it on the bedside table.  Virgil looked up and saw where Patton was looking, sighing.

 

“I don’t know, Pat.  I know the glasses were legit, and that’s...amazing, it really is, but that research?  I don’t know if I like it,” Virgil said, crossing his arms around himself like he did when he got more scared than nervous.  Patton sat down next to him and put his hand on Virgil’s leg.

 

“Why not?  Do you...not want to—”

 

“—Pat, stop that.  Don’t think for a freaking  _ second  _ that I don’t want to be alive again, okay?” Virgil gave Patton a sharp, but not mean, look.  “Of course I want to  _ actually  _ grow up with you.  It’s not that. It’s just that I don’t understand how it’s even an option!  How is Remy’s cousin the only person to think of doing this and to be able to do it?”

 

“Well from what Remy said, I doubt his cousin can do it yet,” Patton said.  “But maybe with our help, he could figure it out?”

 

“There is so much that can go wrong, Patton,” Virgil sighed.  “What if it works, but I’m not the same? What if it doesn’t work and it backfires or something and it hurts you somehow?  What if it hurts me instead of bringing me back? What if this was all a trick and Remy’s cousin just wants to use me for something?”

“Woah, slow your roll there, Virgil,” Patton pulled Virgil’s arms away from his chest, where they had tightened into an aptly-named death grip.  “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. We don’t have to decide this now.”

 

“Do you think I should do it?” Virgil asked, his voice barely a breath.  Patton chuckled.

 

“I’m not answering that, kiddo.  This is about your situation, it’s something you have to decide.  You can take your time, I’m not gonna rush you,” Patton assured him.  Virgil took a few steadying breaths, staring at the card that seemed to call to both of them.  His eyes were dark and troubled.  

 

“Not now.  Let’s not call now.” Saying the words seemed to send a flood of relief through Virgil, and he relaxed into Patton.  “I don’t know when, but I need to think about it for a while.”

 

“Alright.  Just let me know when, or if, you feel like you want me to call,” Patton said, smiling proudly at his brother.  He knew that even keeping the option on the table would cause Virgil stress, but he was doing it because he still wanted to think about the possibility of being alive again.  Patton had a good feeling about it.

 

“Hey, Pat?” Virgil asked.  

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Why the heck did you call me ‘kiddo’?”

 

* * *

 

“You and Logan are getting close,” Roman observed, weaving another violet stem into his flower crown.  Virgil shrugged, searching the grass for more flowers to add to the small pile next to Roman.  

 

“Yeah.  He’s cool,” He replied.

 

“‘Cool’ isn’t a word I’d use to describe Logan, but I’m glad you two can hang out on your own now.  I knew you guys would get along.”

 

“If I remember correctly, and I know I do because I don’t forget things,” Virgil said, peering up at Roman, “It was me who said that.”

 

“Semantics.”

 

“Semantics my ass,” Virgil scoffed, causing Roman to huff a laugh.

 

“Do I need to tell Patton he needs to have another talk with you?” He threatened, and Virgil groaned, falling backwards into the grass.

 

“No!  Please, no.  We finally had that conversation last week, and it was  _ awful _ .  It took an hour and a half.” 

 

“How on earth did he stretch it out for that long?” Roman asked, incredulous.  

“He had diagrams,” Virgil’s voice was muffled as his hands covered his face.  “They looked like Logan’s handiwork.”

 

“Oh no, I know Logan’s diagrams.” Roman winced in sympathy.  “He once lectured me for two hours on why I ate pizza wrong.”

 

“He’s right, you eat it like a heathen and I don’t even need to eat.” Virgil shot Roman a glare.  “Only  _ heathens _ eat the crust first.”

 

“How do you say ‘heathen’ in sign language?” Roman asked.  Virgil shrugged.

 

“We haven’t gotten that far, he’s only taught me the basics.  There’s only so much I can learn in two weeks, Roman.” He sat up with a groan.  “He did teach me this, though.”

 

Virgil then made a shape with his hand that Roman did actually recognize as the letter ‘b’, and then tapped the side of his index finger against his chin.  He then gave Roman a smug grin.

 

“What does that mean?” Roman asked, interested.  Virgil’s smirk widened.

 

“Bitch,” He said.  

 

“Ah, so cursing counts as the basics?” Roman shot back indignantly.  

 

“Of course it does.  Logan knows what’s gonna be important to me,” Virgil replied.  “Patton can’t get mad at me for cursing if he doesn’t know I’m doing it.”

 

Roman chuckled and shook his head, turning back to his flower crown as the two of them lapsed into another comfortable silence.  They had been hanging out alone a lot more, especially as Patton and Logan grew closer, but neither of them minded much. Virgil thought he would mind a lot more than he did, but Roman was a lot more subdued in smaller company.  His dramatics seemed to stem from a larger audience. They had a lot more to talk about than either of them expected, too. They talked about spirits, obviously, with Roman sharing his knowledge and Virgil sharing his experience.  They also talked about books, as reading was one of the easiest activities for Virgil to do. They had similar reading tastes, and once spent hours arguing over Harry Potter.  

 

They talked about the night Patton and Virgil had met, and how that was the first memory Virgil had.  But there was something they hadn’t talked about, something that Virgil was curious about. He let the silence go on for a few more minutes as he added more wild violets to Roman’s pile.  Then he leaned against the tree and looked out at the clouds.

 

“Roman?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“When did you first start seeing spirits?” He asked, seeing Roman pause out of the corner of his eye.  A small frown formed on his face.

 

“Well, do you want to know the first spirit I saw?  Or do you want to know when I realized that they were spirits?” Roman clarified, and his voice was already quieter with the memories.  Virgil looked over at him.

 

“Both?  If that’s okay with you.”

 

Roman sighed.

 

“It took me years to realize that this memory was of a spirit, but the first one I saw was actually when I was an infant.  I’m pretty sure that most people don’t remember things from right after they were born, but this stuck with me for a while.” His voice grew wistful as his hands slowed in their crown-making.  “It was the first thing I saw.  _ He  _ was the first thing I saw.”

 

“Your first sight was of a spirit?” Virgil asked, and Roman nodded.

 

“Not just any spirit,” He continued.  “It was my dad.”

 

Virgil wanted to say something comforting, but it was difficult for the dead to express sympathy for death.  He gave Roman a small, soft smile, trying his best to convey the right message, and Roman smiled back.

 

“It’s okay.  I never actually knew him.  But the very first thing I saw was him smiling down at me, and then him melting into golden dust.”

 

“He moved on?  Right then?” 

 

Roman laughed, the sound thick with emotion.

 

“Yeah, he did.  I’m pretty sure that  _ I  _ was his unfinished business, Virgil.  So...he was there when I opened my eyes, and then he finally felt at peace.  It wasn’t until years later that I realized he was a spirit, and that not everyone could see all the friendly people on the street.  The people that always looked so surprised when I waved at them.” Roman smiled wryly at nothing, his eyes firmly locked on the waving grass that was swaying in the light breeze.  

 

“I can imagine people thought you were crazy,” Virgil added, remembering the fateful conversation that Patton had with their parents, where Virgil’s existence was called into question.  Roman looked at Virgil, eyebrows raised.

 

“Thought?  Virgil, I’m friends with you, I’m  _ clearly _ insane,” Roman teased, forgetting for a moment that he couldn’t touch Virgil and trying to nudge the other boy with his shoulder.  He often forgot he couldn’t touch Virgil. More so than any other spirit. The chill from coming into contact with Virgil nearly wiped the grin from his face, but then Roman looked at Virgil.  And he felt himself freeze.  

 

Virgil was  _ laughing _ .  Not chuckling, not giving a short exhale out of his nose, but full on laughing.  And it was a rough sound, louder than Virgil’s normal volume, but Roman couldn’t find it in himself to care.  He couldn’t even bring himself to tease Virgil when he let out a small snort as he was laughing. Because a thought struck him as he watched Virgil laugh, a thought that he realized he couldn’t argue against even if he wanted to.  

 

Virgil was handsome.  Sure, he had bags under his eyes, and his cheekbones were gaunter than those of the living, but it added to a certain charm that he had.  And when his eyes lit up with interest or mirth, or they crinkled at the edges like they were doing right then...well that made Roman lose his breath.  

 

Virgil looked up at Roman, the last of the giggles fighting their way out of his throat.

 

“Y’know, you’re right.  You  _ are  _ crazy,” he grinned, pushing his hair back with one hand and letting his bangs fall back into his eyes.  Roman realized his face was burning, and he laughed while hurriedly facing forward again.

 

“Of course I’m right, I always am,” he deflected, his hands busying themselves once more with the crown in his hands.  

 

“Roman?  Are you okay?” Of course Virgil would notice him acting weird.  Roman cursed Virgil’s hyperawareness.  

 

“Yeah, I’m fine.  Just got cold all of a sudden,” Roman lied.  Virgil frowned.

 

“You need to stop forgetting you can’t touch me,” He replied.  “Why do you keep forgetting? You’ve had spirit friends before, I know you have.”

 

“Yes, I have, but-” Roman sighed and put the almost finished crown on the ground beside him.  “You’re different, Virgil. It’s easier for me to distance myself from other spirits, because I know that they’re going to move on soon.  And then they’ll be gone.”

 

“But I won’t be,” Virgil finished.

 

“I might have had spirit friends, Virgil, but I never let myself get close to any of them, because then it would only hurt when they moved on,” Roman admitted.  “They were more like acquaintances than anything. But then I met you, and then I found out that you would be around for a long time. And the next thing I knew...it was harder and harder to think of you as just a spirit instead of a friend.”

 

“Oh,” Virgil muttered.

 

“So when I say you’re different...I mean it,” Roman’s voice got quiet as he looked at Virgil again.  The other boy was staring straight ahead, watching the clouds on the horizon, his arms folded on his knees.  Roman had tried so hard to ignore the signs, but he was running out of ways to deny. Even Logan had noticed, as feelings-dense as he was.  Roman was going to have to accept it, pain and all.

 

Roman wanted to curse himself for getting a crush on someone he couldn’t even touch.  

 

Virgil glanced over and saw Roman staring at him.  His face flushed as much as it could, getting a tinge of pink on his cheeks as their eyes met.  Roman couldn’t believe the depth to those eyes, despite their deadness. They may not be alive, but they certainly weren’t empty.  

 

Roman, not for the first time, felt jealous of Patton.  Patton’s bond with Virgil transcended the mortal plane, allowing him to hug Virgil and hold his hand.  Roman’s gift did not. All it did was let him look at Virgil, let him hear his voice and his laugh. But it would never let him cross that final barrier.

 

For the first time, Roman was starting to think that his Sight might be a curse.  

 

His hand moved on its own, apparently deciding to try one more time.  It rested gently on top of Virgil’s hand, phasing through it and sending a chill up Roman’s arm.  But he didn’t care, because Virgil looked down at their intersecting hands and the imperceptible pink flush on his cheeks darkened a little.  

 

But then he frowned and he pulled his hand away.

 

“Don’t do this, Roman,” He said, his voice almost too soft to hear.  Roman’s hand somehow felt colder.

 

“What?” Roman asked, preparing himself for heartbreak.  It wouldn’t be the first time he was rejected. But this might be the worst.  

 

“Don’t  _ do this _ ,” Virgil repeated, holding his own hand close to himself.  “I can’t do it, I can’t let you do it.”

 

“Let me?  Virgil, what do you mean?  If you don’t feel the same, I understand, I do,” Roman said quietly.  Virgil shut his eyes.

 

“ _ Stop! _   I can’t- I don’t want this for you.” He was practically curling in on himself.  “Just stop forgetting that I’m  _ dead _ .”

 

“I’m not forgetting!” Roman protested.  “It just doesn’t matter to me! Didn’t we just finish saying that I’ve been friends with spirits my whole life and that you’re special?  I don’t care that you’re dead, Virgil.”

 

“But you should!” Virgil’s eyes snapped open to stare at Roman.  “You should care because you deserve someone who’s alive.”

“What if I don’t want that someone?” Roman asked softly.  Virgil shook his head.

 

“No.  You have a life, Roman Prince, you need to live it.  Don’t get held back because of me.”

“Explain to me how you would be holding me back?  The way I see it, you’ll be with Patton for the rest of his life, and I never plan on not being Patton’s friend, which means we would never be too far apart.” Roman moved a little closer to Virgil, who noticed and scooted the other way.  

 

“I’m  _ dead _ , Roman!  It is a very small amount of people who can see me, and even less who can hear me!  How do you expect to make anything work? No one is going to believe you,” Virgil argued.

 

“That doesn’t matter.  Spirits are as real to me as living people, it doesn’t matter what other people think,” Roman shot back.  “Being around you makes me happy, Virgil. And I fight for what makes me happy.”

 

“Don’t fight for me, Roman, there’s nothing to fight for.” Virgil’s voice lowered until Roman could barely hear it.  Roman sighed.  

 

“What if I want to, Virgil?  Will you stop me if I want to?” He asked.  Virgil was quiet.  

 

It wasn’t that Virgil didn’t like Roman.  Patton had confronted him less than a week ago and asked him about it, forcing Virgil to realize what he had been avoiding for months.  It wasn’t something he wanted to be true, but he couldn’t avoid it anymore. Roman had stubbornly refused to let Virgil remain alone except for Patton, and firmly planted himself into Virgil’s ghostly life.  He had an aura about him that was just impossible to not fall for. But that didn’t mean Virgil could act on it. Because Virgil was already pushing the envelope. He was dead, but he had a family. He had friends who loved him and who genuinely wanted to be around him.  That was more than he should have ever gotten. Who was he to tempt fate by trying to have romance too? Something would go wrong. Roman would realize that it was too much work, too much effort to date someone he couldn’t take on normal dates, or treat like a normal date.  Virgil couldn’t even hug him for god’s sake! Virgil had managed to squirrel his way into having friends, but having a boyfriend would be pushing his luck beyond the limit.  

 

He had to make Roman see that.  Because if Roman kept this up, Virgil would give in eventually, and Virgil  _ couldn’t want this _ .  Virgil couldn’t want the thing that would ruin everything he’d built.  But he wanted it so badly.  

 

“Please, Roman,” He asked again, “don’t do this.  Don’t make me  _ want  _ this.”

 

“I don’t understand why, though,” Roman replied.  “Why don’t you?”

 

“I just can’t, Roman, okay?  I can’t hold you back like this!” Virgil hated that he felt the sting of tears in his eyes, even though he knew Patton would say it was alright.  Virgil didn't want to cry, because that meant he really did care about this. And it was easier if he didn’t care.  

 

“How about we make a deal?” Roman asked.  Virgil glanced up at him.  

 

“What kind of deal?” He asked, hesitant.  Roman was frowning, but he seemed more confused than anything.  Virgil could tell he was sad though. At least a little.  

 

“You don’t want to hold me back, right?  Well, I promise that if I meet someone who makes me as happy as you do, I won’t push aside any feelings for them because of you,” Roman said.  “But I also promise that what I  _ do  _ feel for you will never fade.  Because like I keep saying, you’re different, Virgil.  And so if one day you change your mind, or when the day comes that we are in the same plane, we can figure things out then.”

 

“If you even still like me then,” Virgil murmured.  Roman chuckled exasperatedly.

 

“Virgil, how many times are you gonna make me say it?”

 

“Until I believe it.”  Virgil wasn’t looking at Roman anymore.  “It could be decades, Roman. Who even knows what happens once I move on, what if there’s nothing?”

 

“Then I’ll find you in our next lives,” Roman shrugged.  Virgil dropped his head onto his shoulders.

 

“You can’t just  _ say  _ things like that!” He insisted, his voice slightly muffled.  “I’m serious, Roman, it could be decades until there’s even the possibility of us being on the same plane.”

“Okay.  Like I said, I won’t ignore anyone else because I still like you, but I’m not gonna stop liking you.” Roman shrugged.  “As long as you’re still around and we’re still friends, I’m gonna like you.”

 

“And you’re really okay with that?” Virgil asked.  

 

“Are you?” Roman returned.  Virgil was quiet for a moment.

 

“It’s something to look forward to, I guess,” He whispered.  “When me being dead isn’t something that holds us apart.”

 

Roman didn’t point out that he didn’t care about that, because it was clear by now that it  _ very  _ much mattered to Virgil.  Roman didn’t understand it, he didn’t get why Virgil would put himself through pain when Roman was perfectly willing to work around the spiritual barrier, but just because he didn’t understand it didn’t mean he was going to be a jerk and not work with Virgil’s fears.  So he just pushed aside his own mixed feelings about being temporarily rejected, and gave Virgil a small, wry grin.

 

“Wow, looking forward to my death?  Morbid, Virge,” he teased, hoping to break the somber tone that had settled over their conversation.  Virgil cracked a smile, small but there nonetheless.  

 

“I’ve looked forward to the day you’ll die since we met, Roman,” He teased back, his heart not completely in it.  Roman leaned against the tree and picked his flower crown back up.

 

“If it’s alright with you, the first thing I want to do when we’re in the same plane is kiss you.  Is that something I can promise?” He asked, glancing at Virgil for his agreement. Virgil thought for a moment, but gave Roman a shy smile.

 

“I’d say that gives me even more to look forward to,” he replied. 

 

“I just hope you can wait the years it’s gonna take,” Roman said.  “I plan on either dying young and heroically, or living till I’m at least a hundred.”

 

Virgil hummed, suddenly deep in thought.  His eyes were unfocused as he watched the clouds move overhead.

 

“Yeah,” He muttered.  “Years…”

 

When Roman and Virgil parted ways an hour later, with an awkward goodbye and some mumbled confirmations of their new promise, Virgil was lost in a daze until he stepped inside his house.  Patton was there, watching television on the couch, and he looked up as Virgil entered. He immediately noticed that Virgil was out of it, and walked over to guide him to the couch.

 

“Virgil?  What’s wrong?” he asked quietly.  Virgil frowned slightly, but it seemed more determined than anything.  

 

“Nothing,” he said.  “But I need you to do something for me.”

 

“What?”

 

“I think I want you to call that number.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love these boys.....  
> next chapter: yet another character that i dont think im good at writing! we're getting into the home stretch tho!!!


	14. Take the First Step

“And you’re sure about this?” Patton asked as he pulled on his shoes.  Virgil took a breath and nodded, trying to seem more confident than he was.  But he knew Patton saw through that.  

 

“Yeah.  I want to feel things, I want to be able to actually talk to Mom and Dad, and I want to be able to grow up with you without just following you around all the time,” he reasoned, partially reminding himself why he was doing this.  Thinking about the good outcomes, and trying very hard to follow Patton’s instructions and not think about the bad.  

 

“And Roman,” Patton added with a small grin.  Virgil looked away, embarrassed. Of course he told Patton about his conversation with Roman.  Why wouldn’t he? He had waited until after Patton had called and told Remy’s cousin that the two of them would stop by in a few days, but he did tell Patton what had made up his mind.  He knew that he would probably end up having Patton call anyway, if just because he _was_ curious, but that conversation with Roman had sort of...kickstarted things.  Before, Virgil had been coming up with reasons not to go, since he could interact with Patton just like a normal brother already, and he didn’t like people noticing him, so why risk the dangers?  But after that, Virgil’s excuses got drowned out. His half-hearted reasoning that his parents had never seen him and so they probably could go without ever seeing him, his excuse that now that he was better with the whiteboard and getting more fluent in sign language, talking to his parents and Logan was easier than ever so he didn’t need to think about the possibility of having a verbal conversation.  All of those were drowned out by Virgil desperately _wanting_ to be alive.  He could wish away his long-seated hopes of actually hugging his parents since those feelings had been around for years, and he could ignore his wanting of a normal life with Patton because he had gotten used to their incredibly abnormal situation.  But this wanting was new, this possibility of a bright new thing was so _recent_ and _strong_ , and it burnt away all of Virgil’s flimsy excuses to only focus on the risks.  

So Virgil was taking Patton’s advice, and he was focusing on the rewards this time.  And dang it, Virgil wanted to be alive.  

 

The walk to Remy’s cousin’s house took twenty minutes, winding out of the neighborhood and down by the forest.  But when Patton and Virgil stood outside of the building on the edge of the trees, Virgil found himself reaching out for Patton’s hand.  Patton looked over as he squeezed Virgil’s hand back comfortingly.

 

“It’ll be okay, Virge,” he said.  “Nothing is gonna happen, and if you really get a bad feeling then we can just leave, okay?”

 

Virgil took a breath and nodded, motioning to Patton to knock on the door.  Patton gave his brother one more encouraging smile before rapping on the door and stepping back.  It took a few moments for the door to open, but when it did, Virgil wondered if they were at the wrong house.  The man who opened the door did not look like a scientist. He was wearing a brown sweater vest with a light pink tie, and he smiled widely down at the two brothers.  Virgil frowned, but Patton waved brightly.

 

“Hi!  Are you Remy’s cousin?” He asked.  The man, who couldn’t be much older than 20, happily shook Patton’s hand.

 

“That I am!  Please, call me Emile,” He answered, moving aside to let Patton inside, with Virgil following.  Virgil hadn’t been able to tell yet whether Emile could see him, but by the way he looked at Patton after he was inside...he probably couldn’t.

 

“So, is your...spirit friend here today?” Emile asked, confirming Virgil’s suspicions.  Patton nodded.

 

“He’s here!” he replied, looking to Virgil for permission before continuing, “His name is Virgil.”

 

“Well, I don’t know where you are, but it’s absolutely fantastic to meet you, Virgil!” Emile shut the door and led Patton and Virgil into the house, revealing a living room that was full of scientific equipment.  The walls had been replaced with whiteboards, which had been covered in different mathematical equations and diagrams, and wires trailed across the floor with some taped to the ground and others waiting to trip unsuspecting feet.  There were a few machines, one with a big switch on it and another with some tubes and screens. All in all, Virgil had no idea what the heck any of it did.  

 

“What is all this stuff?” Patton asked, voicing Virgil’s exact question.  Emile laughed, strolling into the midst of his science-y chaos and sitting down in a rather rickety chair.

 

“Did Remy tell you what I’m working on?”

 

“Yeah, you want to bring a spirit back to life,” Patton answered.  Emile shrugged.

 

“It’s a bit more complicated than that, since I have to manufacture a way to give the spirit a corporeal form, but yeah, basically!” He said.  “All this stuff is what I have so far! My biggest setback has been finding a spirit willing to work with me on this, which has been difficult considering my lack of the Sight and my cousin’s lack of motivation to actually help me.”

 

“So what does it entail?  What do you need from Virgil?” Patton suddenly got a little defensive, as he tended to do when the topic of protecting Virgil came up.  Emile took out a notepad and started scribbling something.

 

“What I need from him is far less than what you’ll get if this is a success,” Emile started.  “I just need to examine his energy, to see what sort of wavelengths or frequencies he’s operating on to be here, so I can manipulate them!  Then comes the experimentation, but I promise I’ll make sure it’s safe before I ask to try anything with him.”

 

“But you will need to experiment with him?” Patton asked, voicing the question that was written all over Virgil’s face.  Emile made a face.

 

“Unfortunately, yes.  But look on the bright side!  If I can get the right information, and do all the math, we can mess with the currently insubstantial form of his body and force it into this plane of existence!” Emile sounded far too excited to mess with the fabric of reality, but the idea of bringing Virgil to the mortal plane still sounded nice.  

 

“Are you still okay with this?” Patton muttered to Virgil, who looked between Emile and the machines with trepidation.  He wanted to leave, he did. Every fiber of his ‘insubstantial form’ was screaming to go home where it was safe, where he knew what would happen and what he could do.  

 

But Patton’s hand was in his.  And Virgil had noticed a year ago that while Patton felt the chill of his hand...Virgil felt nothing.  He felt the weight of his brother’s hand, but there was no warmth that he could feel, there was no sign of life.  Virgil couldn’t feel the same way that Patton could. Virgil wanted to hold his brother’s hand for real, he wanted to feel heat and cold and soft blankets and sharp corners and sweaty palms and flushed cheeks.  

 

Virgil wanted to go home, but the deepest part of his core wanted him to live.  So he nodded at Patton. And Patton turned back to Emile.

 

“What do you need us to do?”

 

* * *

 

“So you don’t want to tell them?” Patton asked as the two of them waited on the couch.  Roman and Logan were due any minute for a movie night. Virgil frowned and shook his head.

 

“No, I don’t want them to get their hopes up,” He said.  He knew he meant Roman specifically, and he knew Patton knew that too.  He couldn’t handle seeing Roman get excited at the possibility of their promise being enacted years early, only for the experiments to fail and that hope be shattered.  He knew that Logan wouldn’t seem as excited, it was just who he was, but Virgil still knew he would be looking forward to the success. And Virgil just couldn’t see a future where this worked, at least not yet.

 

“I understand.  But Virge, this is gonna be good, I promise,” Patton gripped Virgil’s hand tightly.  Virgil sighed.

 

“I want to believe that, Patton, but it’s still a long shot.”

 

“I’ll believe for the both of us, then.” Patton gave a wide grin as the doorbell rang, immediately giving Virgil a quick hug before hopping up to answer the door.  Virgil peered over the back of the couch to watch, waving hello to Roman and Logan as they entered the house. Roman’s smile was a little softer than normal when he looked at Virgil, but Virgil found that he was surprisingly okay with that.  He thought that the reminders of what he was pushing away would hurt, and they did, but he also thought about Roman’s promise that the terrifying idea Virgil was pushing away would always be an option. Virgil, of course, was worried that Roman would be wrong, and he wouldn’t always like Virgil, but the look in Roman’s eyes had seemed genuine.  He would be there. Waiting for the day that Virgil found it not so terrifying. Or, unknown to Roman, waiting for the day that this eccentric man by the woods managed to pull Virgil out of the spirit plane. Because on the off chance that it worked...Virgil would have nothing to be afraid of except for his normal fears of the future. Planar gaps and incorporeal forms wouldn’t factor in anymore.  

 

Virgil was scared that his hopes might have risen a little, no matter how hard he tried to keep them low.  

 

“Virgil, are you alright?  You seem...paler than normal,” Logan commented, seating himself in the armchair to the right of the couch.  Virgil shook himself out of his thoughts, electing to forget about the experiments for tonight.  

 

“No, I’m fine,” He said, exaggerating so that Logan could read his lips, but signing along with it.  “I have a headache.”

 

“Spirits can get headaches?” Logan asked, curious.  Virgil smirked.

 

“Yes, this one comes and goes, though,” He said.  Then he gestured to Roman, who had taken the spot on the couch next to him.  “Mine just came back.”

 

Logan held back laughter as Roman grew indignant.

 

“Oh _I_ see how it is,” he pouted, “you two grumpy nerds are ganging up on me!  Patton, team up with me to fight them, our positivity can defeat their pessimism.”

 

Patton lit up as he replied, “Absolutely!  If anyone can brighten their outlooks, it’s us!”

 

“Sorry, but I’m perfectly happy with my ‘glass always empty because someone poisoned the water’ outlook on life,” Virgil said, and Patton crossed his arms with an exaggerated huff.

 

“I’ll get you one day, Virge.  One of these days you’ll see the optimist way and on that day, I will win,” He said, getting a high-five from Roman.  

 

“Good luck with that,” Logan said.  “And, likewise, good luck trying to change my mind.  I am a realist, and that will not change anytime soon.”

 

“Alright, alright, can we pick a movie now?” Virgil leaned back onto the couch.  “I vote for A Muppet Christmas Carol.”

 

“You just like that because it has spirits in it, don’t you,” Roman accused, and Virgil shrugged.

 

“I have a brand, I’ve gotta stick to it.”

 

“What about the new Ghostbusters reboot?” Patton suggested.  “That could be fun.”

 

“Also, Kate McKinnon is a gay icon,” Roman added, “which means I am absolutely down to watch that movie.”

 

“I suppose it could be interesting,” Logan acquiesced.  Virgil shrugged, and with that, the movie was chosen.  

 

By the end of the movie night, Roman’s hand had moved itself to right next to Virgil’s.  They weren’t touching, but they were close enough that they might as well have been. Virgil couldn’t stop himself from looking down at it, and once again he knew that he didn’t want to do anything until he knew that if he moved his hand, he would actually be able to touch Roman.  He couldn’t feel that sensation of having his hand _inside_ of Roman’s, not anymore.  It wasn’t enough, and all it did was remind him that he wanted something that he still couldn’t want.  Not yet.  

 

But Roman hadn’t left, despite Virgil being too scared of losing everything if he tried to get one more thing.  He hadn’t left, and he hadn’t been mad at Virgil.  

 

So Virgil moved his hand slightly closer, and kept watching the movie.

 

* * *

 

Virgil knew that it was a miracle he had gotten Patton to not spill the beans for this long.  His poor brother was practically vibrating constantly, and the fact that he had gone over three months without telling Roman and Logan about their meetings with Emile was frankly incredible.  But Patton understood how important it was to Virgil. And Virgil was starting to maybe, _maybe_ see a light at the end of these experiments.  It had been months, but Emile seemed to be getting somewhere, gathering information about Virgil each time they went to his house.  This time was no different.

 

“Ok, Virgil, can you grab that sensor for me now?” Emile said, jotting down numbers on his notepad as Virgil walked over to the machine in question.  He picked up the sensor, immediately seeing the readout on Emile’s computer change, registering his interference. Emile lit up, recording the changes with a glint in his eyes.  When he told Virgil to let go, he looked up at where Patton sat on the couch, and he was grinning.

 

“I think I’ve almost isolated the wavelengths of Virgil’s existence in the spiritual plane, and once I do that, we can try and manipulate that,” he said, excited.  Patton leaned forward, interested, while Virgil went over and sat down next to him.

 

“So does that mean that we might be getting close?” Patton asked.  Emile made an ‘eh’ gesture with his hand.

 

“Sort of!  This is a process, though, and we can’t just jump the gun.  Or, in this case, jump about fifty guns,” He said. “First, once I get this math done, I want to test it in an enclosed area, trying to just give a small part of Virgil’s body some more corporeal form.  Just a finger! Then we can try and make it larger scale, and permanent.”

 

“This is gonna take forever,” Virgil grumbled, leaning onto his knees.  Patton put a hand on his shoulder.

 

“And when do you think you’ll be able to start doing that?” He asked Emile, who thought for a second.

 

“I should be able to get the math done by this weekend if you want,” He said.  “I know that this is a very personal matter for you two.”

 

“This weekend?” Patton repeated, and Virgil groaned.  They had plans with Logan and Roman that weekend.  

 

“We can tell them we had to cancel, this is important!” Virgil said, and Patton turned to him, eyebrows furrowed.

 

“But we made plans!  And if we aren’t telling them about this, then what would we even say?” 

 

“I don’t _know,_ Patton, but if I’m gonna keep being okay with doing this, then I can’t let it be dragged out for years!” Virgil argued back.  “Maybe we can keep the plans, but have to leave early or something.”

 

“We can’t just tell them that, we need to tell them why,” Patton insisted.  Virgil shook his head sharply.

 

“No.  It’s bad enough that I’m getting invested in this, I can’t have them expecting a success too.  I just can’t,” he said. “It’s already going to hurt when this fails, but I can’t disappoint them too.”

 

“Virgil…” Patton trailed off.

 

“Just...fine.” Virgil pulled his sleeves over his hands and curled a little more into himself.  “Don’t cancel. Tell Emile we’ll be back on Monday.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“It’s that or lie to them, and I know you won’t do that.  But I don’t want to keep waiting for this, it already feels like it’s been years.”

 

“...Okay,” Patton said.  “But, Virge, I want you to know that they would never be disappointed in you.  They might be disappointed if we tell them and it doesn’t work, but it would never be directed at you.”

 

Virgil sighed.

 

“Somewhere, deep down, I’m sure I know that.  But it doesn’t feel like it.”

 

Patton pulled Virgil closer to him, giving him an impromptu side-hug, as he turned back to Emile.

“We’ll be back right after school on Monday,” he said.  Emile nodded with a smile.

 

“I look forward to it.”

 

* * *

 

The weekend came and Virgil was a mess.  All he could think about was the coming Monday, and the experiment that Emile was going to run.  Everything could go wrong. What if it somehow killed him? Again? What if it just blew up? Virgil couldn’t handle the sheer amount of ways that Monday could end with Patton dying or getting hurt.  And it was plain to see on his face.

 

“Woah, Virge, you don’t look too good,” Roman commented, hanging back as Patton and Logan got them a table for lunch.  Virgil shrugged.

 

“I’m fine, Roman.” His hood was up to try and cover the distracted, terrified look in his eyes, but that just made Roman more worried.

 

“I really don’t think you are,” he said.  “Did something happen? Are you feeling...angry again?”

 

“What?  No, no, Roman I’m not angry,” Virgil waved him off with a sigh.  “I’m not losing control again, trust me. I’ve just got a lot on my mind.”

 

“Care to get it _off_ your mind?” Roman offered.  Virgil appreciated the thought, but he was not about to dump all this onto Roman, especially not when the other boy didn’t even know about Emile and the experiments.  

 

“Sorry, Roman, but I can’t.” He may have been a little blunt, but no one ever called Virgil the tactful one.  Roman frowned.

 

“Oh.  Alright.  I hope you feel better,” He said, and Virgil immediately felt bad.  Of course he was being a jerk to one of the people that he was doing those experiments for.  That’s just what Virgil did. 

 

“...Thanks,” He muttered, spotting Logan and Patton finally and making his way over to the table, taking the seat next to Patton.  Logan cocked his head in Virgil’s direction.

 

_Are you alright?_ He signed.  Virgil appreciated the nonverbal query, as he didn’t want Roman or Patton chiming in, but he still couldn’t talk to Logan.  

 

_Fine,_ he signed back, _just worry._

 

Logan pursed his lips in thought but he nodded.  Virgil liked how Logan understood his anxieties and how they worked.  He rarely asked Virgil why something made him nervous, because half the time Virgil had no idea.  

 

Right now, Virgil had too many ideas.  He was scared of what he was doing with Emile, for so many different reasons.  Part of him wanted to back out, but the other part just kept reminding him why he was doing it.  He was trying to give himself back the life he lost. He was trying to be a brother that Patton could talk about to friends, or introduce to future partners.  He was trying to be a friend that Logan didn’t have to look at head-on for fear of turning his head too much and having Virgil vanish out of the view of his glasses.  He was trying to be a son that his parents could _see_.  He was trying to be a boy that Roman could like without blocking himself off from actual living people.  

 

He knew why he was doing the research.  He was terrified, but he knew why he kept going back.  But that didn’t change the fact that he was terrified.  

 

And Monday came all too soon.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i also cannot write emile i am sorry about that. i know hes kind of ooc but i just really loved the idea of mad scientist!Emile (altho hes not really a mad scientist just more of an eccentric one). also,,,,,holy crap there are only three chapters left???? thats weird and i dont like it. and, of course, the final chapter is scheduled to be posted on the exact saturday that i move back in to college :/ . so that might be a late upload, but ill get it done yall


	15. ...And One Step Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...sorry

“So, how did you start all this research?” Patton asked as Emile finished his final adjustments.  Emile thought for a moment. Then he began talking, his eyes still focused on his machines.

 

“Well, it all started when I found out about my cousin's Sight,” he started.  “You see, my aunt and uncle didn’t believe him, and when he became insistent on it, they doubled down.  It is not my place to share his story, but to cut to the end, he ended up living with me as soon as I turned eighteen.  His parents were not bad, but he felt more comfortable with someone who truly believed him about his Sight. It was Remy and his experience with the spiritual plane that made me interested in studying spirits.”

 

“So, Remy lives here?” Patton asked.  “How come we’ve never seen him?”

 

Emile paused in his adjustments.

“He...is not very comfortable around the living.  It’s a shame, but he has had more positive experiences with spirits than he has with living people.  So he spends much of his time wandering the town and talking with the spiritual population,” He said.  “I believe you are the first living person to know about his Sight since I found out. He must really have thought that I could help you.”

 

“Well, you’re trying your hardest to help us, and that’s what matters,” Patton smiled encouragingly as he spoke.  Virgil frowned.

 

“It would be nice if he succeeded, though,” He muttered, earning a small glance from Patton.  

 

“And I’ll try until it works, I promise you that,” Emile sent a grin over his shoulder.  “Now, Virgil, if you could come put your hand on this sensor, I’m going to try and shift your hand between planes.”

 

Virgil hesitated, glancing between Patton and the sensor, before an encouraging smile from his brother got him up off the couch.  He made his way over the wires criss-crossing on the floor, stepping carefully despite being unable to trip over them, until he stood next to Emile and in front of the indicated panel.  Now, Virgil knew he wanted this. Of course he did, for reasons that he’s told himself over and over. But that didn’t take away the harsh grip of fear in his chest. He knew that if it was just him, just his wanting, he wouldn’t be doing this.  Doing something this drastic and dangerous, just for  _ him?  _ No way.  But he wasn’t doing this just for him.  So his hand reached out before he could stop himself and was placed on the sensor that Virgil  _ knew  _ should feel cold.  But all he felt was the pressure of the metal against his hand as he stopped himself from phasing through it.  

 

Emile lit up as soon as Virgil touched it, and got to work on his computer with the coding and the manipulating.  Virgil watched as the readings on the machines changed with whatever Emile was doing, sensors fluctuating and converging on the one in front of Virgil.  Virgil waited, his unbeating heart in his throat and his hand deathly still against the panel. He couldn’t feel a thing, and as the time stretched on, he grew disappointed and angry at himself for ever believing that this could  _ work _ , why did he think that he would get a second chance?  Why  _ Virgil _ , after living this half-existence for fourteen years, after he followed his much better brother around like a shadow, after he—

 

— _ Sparks _ .  The panel under Virgil’s hand sparked, and he  _ felt it _ .  He froze, staring at his own hand in wonder as he felt the buzzing of the panel underneath his skin.   _ Skin! _   He heard a startled gasp from Emile as the man looked up from his computer to check its progress.  

 

“Oh now that is  _ weird  _ looking,” Emile mumbled, staring at what Virgil assumed was his disembodied hand on the sensor.  Then he grinned up at where he had calculated Virgil’s head to be. “But, good news, it worked! Bit touch and go there, the sensor almost didn’t pick up on you, but we got there!”

 

“It worked?” Patton asked, sitting up quickly and staring brightly at Virgil.  Emile seemed thrilled, turning back to his computer to make notes about what was going one.  “Virge, how does it feel?”

 

“I…” Virgil flexed his fingers against the panel before turning back to look at Patton.  “It feels weird, but it’s... _ tingly _ .”

 

“Huh,” Patton commented, relaying the information to Emile who jotted it down with interest in his eyes.  

 

“Now, Virgil, could you try taking your hand off of the panel?  Concentrate on trying to keep your hand corporeal,” Emile suggested, his pen ready to take notes as he watched Virgil’s hand carefully.  Virgil frowned down at his hand, trying to figure out how one concentrates on being corporeal. He stiffened his hand, concentrating on the weird feeling of touching the buzzing metal before he slowly lifted his hand off of the sensor.  He winced preemptively, unsure as to what would happen as he lost contact, but not really trusting it all not to blow up in his face. Then his hand left the panel.

 

And all the sensors went dead.  

 

Emile frowned, clearly disappointed, but wrote down his notes anyway.  Virgil sighed, crossing his arms and staring at the flat readings from the monitors, frowning.  Emile leaned back on his heels, making a determined huff.

 

“Well, let’s try again, shall we?  I don’t want to have to use more power than we need to, if you can hold the form on your own,” he suggested.  Virgil hesitated, not wanting to have it fail again, but ultimately steeled himself and put his hand back on the sensor.  

 

The machines buzzed back to life, and Virgil concentrated.

 

* * *

 

“Where have you and Patton been going after school?  You’ve been going off on your own a lot more,” Roman asked, and Virgil stiffened.  He knew Roman wasn’t being accusatory, just curious, but he still didn’t want to get caught in keeping things from him and Logan.  So he shrugged, trying to keep his shoulders relaxed and failing miserably.  

 

“We needed some brotherly bonding,” He said, which was technically true if you counted letting an eccentric young scientist experiment on your incorporeal form while your very much corporeal brother watched encouragingly from the couch as ‘brotherly bonding’.  Which knowing him, Patton did. Virgil would prefer something much less stressful. Roman didn’t look like he believed Virgil, but he just leaned back against the brick wall as the two of them waited for Logan. Patton had stayed behind to talk to a teacher, but afterwards, the four of them were taking advantage of Roman’s day off from theater practice and hanging out.  It was a beautiful early spring day, which meant going down by the river and enjoying the fresh air. But Virgil’s mind had been constantly scattered, only thinking of the work with Emile and how far they were yet how far they had still to go.  

 

“Hmm.  How’s that been going?” Roman asked.  Virgil worried that Roman was hurt, if he could tell that Virgil was keeping the truth from him and thought that Virgil didn’t trust him.  But he couldn’t think of a way to ask without having to tell him what was really happening. 

 

“Good.” He answered, wishing he had more to say.  They settled into silence, but this one wasn’t as comfortable as they usually were.  Virgil frowned, he was messing something up. He knew it. He didn’t want to, he wanted his friendship with Roman to stay the same until there was a breakthrough with Emile, but he was starting to worry that that was impossible.  He just hoped Roman could wait a little longer.  

 

“Ah, Logan’s here,” Roman said, pushing himself off the wall and waving so Logan could find them.  When he walked up, Logan looked around curiously.

 

“Is Patton still inside?” He asked, earning a nod from both Virgil and Patton.

 

_ Should be done soon,  _ Virgil signed to Logan.  Logan had been thrilled at how quick of a learner Virgil was, and Virgil really did enjoy learning sign language.  He knew that even if he managed to be brought back, he would still want to keep learning it. As long as Logan kept wanting to teach him, that is.  

 

“What was he even asking about?” Roman wondered.  “He gets good grades.”

 

“He had questions about the project,” Virgil said, signing as he talked.  “About what exactly his teacher wants.”

 

“How many of those are your questions?” Roman teased, and Virgil rolled his eyes.

 

“Just because I watch out for Patton doesn’t mean I’ll badger him with questions that I want him to ask—”

 

“—Virgil, you’re avoiding the question,” Logan smirked.  Virgil groaned and crossed his arms.

 

“Fine.  Most of them are mine.”

 

“Stop pestering my sweet baby brother,” Patton came up behind them, grinning slightly smug as Virgil smacked his arm lightly.

 

“Mom said  _ I  _ was older, and I am  _ not  _ sweet,” He argued, but there was no wiping the look off of Patton’s face.  

 

“Well, whoever is older, we still have plans?” Logan brought up, raising his eyebrows.  “Unless we would like to squander Roman’s day off by  _ not  _ leaving the school grounds?”

 

“Dunno, it could be fun,” Virgil shrugged.  “I hear the school is haunted.”

 

“Virgil, you’re haunting it right now.” Logan deadpanned.  Virgil gave a small grin.

 

“See?  I’m right.”

 

“Who wants ice cream?” Patton cut in before Virgil could keep making haunting jokes.  That was something Virgil might miss if he was alive again, but he would deal with it.  Good joke opportunities weren’t a good enough reason to stay dead if he didn’t have to.  

 

“That sounds perfect, Patton, let’s head out!” Roman got excited at the suggestion, grabbing Logan’s arm and pulling him along as Patton followed suit with Virgil.  It took a block for Virgil to extract himself from Patton’s grip, as Patton cheerfully tried to drag him to the ice cream shop. Like he needed incentive to want ice cream.  

 

“Virge, do you want your own?  Or do you want to share?” Patton asked as they approached the doors.  Virgil frowned.

 

“Let’s share,” He said.  Then he lowered his voice, “If Emile pulls through, we’re coming here so I can get my own cone, though.”

 

“Of course!” Patton grinned.

 

“And, as he’s so very generous,” Virgil started, “my lovely big brother will pay for it?” 

 

“I- oh  _ you _ ,” Patton chastised him.  “Don’t use my generosity against me like this!  I’m gonna make you get a ghost job, young man.”

 

Virgil just pushed Patton gently through the doors of the shop as a reply.  

 

As the four of them enjoyed their ice cream, sitting on a bench so that the workers didn’t notice the fourth spoon that occasionally floated, Virgil nearly managed to forget what was going to happen the following afternoon.  But it just wasn’t that easy. It was rather hard to forget the day that Emile was trying the real deal. The day that could mean the start of Virgil’s life.  

 

Patton’s hand found his on the bench, and their fingers interlocked.  He knew exactly what Virgil was thinking about. But now was a time for friends, a time for ice cream, and a time for heated friendly debates about topics that meant nothing.  

 

Everything else?  That could wait for tomorrow.

 

* * *

 

Patton gripped Virgil’s hand as they made their way to Emile’s house for what could very well be the final time.  His heart was pounding, beating with the hope that he could have his brother back, finally.

 

“How are you feeling?” He asked, and Virgil scoffed.  

 

“How am I feeling?  Horrible. I’m nervous, scared, terrified, and did I already say nervous?” He had his hand that wasn’t currently occupied by Patton’s curled up into his sleeve, his nails digging right through the fabric and into his palm, where he felt no pain.  Patton gave him a soft smile.

 

“It’s gonna be okay.  Emile put a lot of work into this, I have a good feeling.”

 

“Your good feeling versus my bad one, who’s gonna win?” Virgil tried to lighten his own mood, but it didn’t work.  Patton grinned, though, lightly nudging Virgil closer to the house.

 

“Mine, clearly!  C’mon, this is gonna be good, I just  _ know  _ it.”

 

Virgil gave in and let Patton pull him up the steps to Emile’s house.  Out of the corner of his vision, Virgil could see Remy sitting against a tree out in the woods, but he either didn’t see Virgil or didn’t care.  Either way, Virgil just turned his attention forward again as Patton knocked on the door. It was a few moments before it swung open to reveal a very excited Emile.  

 

“There you are!  Are you excited?” he asked as he let Patton and Virgil inside.  Patton chuckled.

 

“I am, but he’s got his worries,” he said.  Emile shrugged.

 

“There is certainly a validity to his nerves.  I have faith in my science and the work we’ve done, but this is a new procedure.  However, if we never try, then we never succeed!” He finished with a clap and a bright grin in the twins’ direction.  Patton nudged Virgil with his shoulder.

 

“Exactly!  You still good to try, Virge?” He asked the question with a light smile and open eyes, but Virgil knew his brother.  He knew that Patton wanted this as badly as Virgil did, and that if Virgil decided to give up, he would put aside his own sadness in his support of Virgil’s decision.  But Virgil was doing this for Patton too, and so he sighed and nodded. One more try. One final experiment. If this worked…

 

If this worked then Virgil would be alive.  

 

“So how is this gonna work?” Patton voiced, and Emile waved him over to the couch, where more wires than normal were laying across the cushions.  

 

“Ok, well, like last time I’m gonna have Virgil hooked up to a lot of these wires.  We need to read as much of his body as possible so that when I shift the energy levels and wavelengths we don’t accidentally miss a finger or something,” Emile explained as he fussed with said wires.  “This time, however, I’m gonna be using a bit more power. Forcibly moving him to this plane with nothing but energy and science is gonna be more of a guessing game than anything, but I have a good feeling about this one.”

 

“Me too!  Are we ready to start?” Patton fell back onto the couch, on the cushion not covered in wires.  Emile grabbed his computer, made sure all the connections were working, and sat down in the chair across from him.

 

“As long as Virgil is,” he responded.  “Whenever you’re ready, if you could help him attach the wires?”

 

Virgil cautiously sat next to Patton, and started to pick up the wires and wrap them around his body.  It was reasons like this that he was ever so thankful that Patton had forced him to get used to lifting heavy objects, because it meant that he was able to make his form solid enough to hold up the wires without nearly passing out from the energy loss.  There were so many wires, more than there were on the trial run they had done the past weekend. Virgil had one wire wrapped around each bicep, each thigh and calf, his chest and neck, another one around his head and ending dangerously close to his eyes, and two more in either hand resting lightly against his wrist.  He knew that the metal of the wires should feel cold, and he tried to stop himself from hoping that at the end of this, he would feel that chill. The readings on Emile’s monitors started going wild the instant all the wires were touching Virgil, and Virgil could feel the strain from holding all of them up. But he grit his teeth and ignored it, nodding at Patton to tell Emile to start.

 

He just wanted this over with.  

Emile began rapidly typing, adjusting the readings and causing a mild tingling sensation to spread through Virgil’s body.  As usual, Virgil felt the small thrill that came from merely  _ feeling  _ something, but this time it was lessened by his anxiety as Emile got up and crossed the room to a switch by the monitors.  Anything that required the flipping of one big switch was bound to cause Virgil anxiety, especially when it was something this important.  

“Alright, Virgil, this is going to send the energy pulses through your body.  It might hurt a little bit, but hopefully they do their job and force you into this plane,” He explained, his hand resting on the switch.  Virgil only had a split second to process what Emile had said, and only one thought managed to pass through all his nerves.

 

Virgil had never felt pain before.  What exactly was a ‘little’ pain? What did pain feel like?  Sure, he probably felt pain before he died, but he couldn’t remember that, much less what it felt like.  He had, unfortunately, seen Patton get hurt, but that still didn’t give him any idea of what to expect here!  Still, he had to get through it. He settled for tightening his grip on the wires in his hands and locking eyes with Patton.  Patton was here, right next to him. His eyes were soft, watching Virgil with intensity, wordlessly saying that it would all be okay.

 

And Virgil trusted him.

 

Emile flipped the switch.  For a second, nothing happened.  Virgil could feel the electricity traveling through the wires, coiling through the piles on the floor, stretching across the rug, reaching his body and-  _ oh _ .   _ That’s  _ what pain felt like.  Virgil felt himself double over, his eyes screwing shut as he tried not to scream.  He tried so hard not to scream, he didn’t want to scare Patton, but it hurt so  _ much _ .  It felt like someone was carving into his body with a knife, starting from the points where the wires connected and continuing all over his body.  Or rather, it felt like how he imagined that would feel. Was this a ‘little’ pain? Did living people feel worse than this on a regular basis? How would he survive being alive if he couldn’t handle this?  Or, worse, was Emile wrong and this was all going wrong and everything was horrible? That’s what it felt like, with the burning fire in his veins and the sparks on his skin.  

 

“I think I can see him!  I think it’s working!” Virgil vaguely heard Emile shouting in glee, but he was finding it harder and harder to draw the breaths that he didn’t need but desperately wanted.  Then, suddenly, the energy lessened for a moment, drawing back into the wires and giving Virgil a few seconds of reprieve. Virgil remembered that Emile had set it up to pulse with the energy, and he took a break in preparation.  In hindsight, Virgil wished that he appreciated those seconds more. Because when the energy started again...it was worse.  

He didn’t know what was different this time, but it was as if the dial got turned all the way past the maximum.  The energy arced through his body, wire to wire, and it only seemed to burn hotter. Virgil thought he heard Patton shouting at Emile, but he couldn’t focus on anything other than the horrible feeling that seemed to be centering now on the twin wires held in his hands.  The pain of the sparking wires concentrated on his wrists as it grew more intense, and Virgil suddenly couldn’t take it anymore.

 

Virgil screamed in pain, and the room went dark with a  _ crash _ .

 

* * *

 

“Virgil?   _ Virgil! _ ” Virgil could hear a voice, pleading his name into the void, but it sounded like it was coming through water, a muffled cry that barely reached his ears.  It didn’t help that he couldn’t even place the voice. It sounded so distorted that he couldn’t tell who was speaking. It kept calling for him, but Virgil couldn’t see anything other than darkness.  That voice though, he felt like he knew it. He had to know it, why else would it sound sad? As it called his name, it sounded scared, and sad, and shaken to the core. But Virgil felt calm for once, in this dark expanse.  There was nothing here, nothing that could hurt him. It felt nice, and Virgil wasn’t sure he wanted to leave. He couldn’t remember what he was leaving behind, but surely it couldn’t be more calming than this empty void? He was curious though, what had created this nothingness.  What had happened? What brought him here? He crossed his arms over his chest, causing a static spark to burst on his wrist.  

 

Oh.  That.  

 

“Please, wake up!  You  _ have  _ to be okay!” The voice was louder now, and Virgil’s eyes widened as he realized that it was clearly Patton.  How had he not recognized Patton’s voice? His brother was terrified, it was obvious in his voice, how did Virgil not notice that?  He looked around at the darkness and suddenly needed to get out. No matter how peaceful it was here, he needed to get to Patton. This void wasn’t where he belonged.  So he concentrated on the voice, and the thought of his brother, and soon he was peeling his eyes open to reveal the terrified face crouched in front of him.  

 

“ _ Virgil!”  _ Patton crushed him in a hug as soon as his eyes opened, but Virgil pushed him off with a wince, realizing that his arms still hurt.  He was still feeling pain. He didn’t want to let himself hope, but the roots were there already, and he felt it grow as he registered the soft burning still present in his arms.  But as he looked over at Emile, the man was only watching Patton, his eyes never straying to Virgil. The room around them was dark, all the monitors had shut down and the bulbs overhead were shattered.  Virgil didn’t want to think about the obvious reason for that.  

 

“Did it…” Virgil couldn’t finish the question, not wanting a bad answer, but Patton didn’t even need to say anything.  The sudden sadness in his eyes was answer enough. Virgil curled his knees up into his chest, leaning against the leg of the sofa and holding his legs tight.  It failed. It failed, Virgil was still dead, and it still  _ hurt _ .  Virgil almost didn’t hear the light gasp from Patton, but he definitely felt as his brother pulled one of his arms away from his body, revealing something that Virgil hadn’t noticed.

 

Launching from the spot that the end of the wire had laid, the very root of his wrist, was a jagged mark.  A scar, spreading like lightning down his arm to his elbow, branching outward and arcing across his skin. The scar was raised slightly, discolored and messy, and it was softly throbbing with a much lighter pain.  Not light enough to be unnoticeable though, not when Virgil still wasn’t used to pain. Virgil hesitated before checking his other arm, noting with a sinking feeling in his gut that both his arms were scarred by the failure.  This would never leave him. The scars felt like chains, keeping him tied to his afterlife.  

 

Why did he ever think that it would work?  

 

Staring at the new bolts now marring his spectral form, Virgil felt a new form of pain as his heart broke to pieces.  In the self-inflicted darkness of Emile’s living room, with lightning on his arms and his brother watching him sadly, Virgil shattered.

 

He cried, and he was forced to notice that his tears didn’t feel wet.  

 

He cried, and he realized just how much he had wanted to be alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wHOOPS that went well, huh. when you try your best but you don't succeed...
> 
> as we get down to the last two chapters, I want to just thank all of yall for commenting and supporting me :) it means a lot and every comment i get just brightens my day. This won't be the last fic I write for sanders sides, even tho i wasnt planning on even writing this one oof, but ill wait until the last chapter to tell you about the other ones i have in the works rn. 
> 
> See you on tuesday :)


	16. Faith, Trust, and Pixie Dust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the wake of heartbreak.

There was no talking in Emile’s living room as the three of them saw the aftermath of the experiment.  For Emile, it was the burnt-out monitors and laptop, the shattered lightbulbs and the ruined wires. The physical destruction that surrounded them in the darkness.  For Patton and Virgil, it was the emotional destruction, the spiritual scarring, the broken hope. Patton was holding Virgil’s hands, his fingers tracing the new scars on his brother’s wrists, as his eyes traced the tears falling down his ghostly face.  No words were spoken for a long time, and even as Patton helped Virgil to his feet and walked him over to the door, there was merely a nod exchanged between him and Emile. No words were needed. Patton and Virgil might be back whenever Emile had his monitors working again.  Or they might not. There was no certainty of anything at that moment.  

 

As Patton and Virgil stumbled into their home, their parents were in the kitchen.  He tried to get up to the attic before they noticed something was wrong, but they must have heard Patton make a noise as he shifted Virgil higher onto his shoulder.  His brother was still silent, vacant, nearly catatonic. Their mom was the first to see Patton, the position he was in that clearly meant he was holding something, the sorrow and fear in his eyes, the dried tear tracks on his cheeks, and her hand flew to cover her mouth.  She ushered Patton to the couch, where he helped Virgil sit down and then he took a seat next to him. His mom took his hands in hers and met his eyes. She asked him what happened, using only her expression. The silence remained intact. Patton looked at Virgil, then back to their mom.  He shook his head lightly. He didn’t want to talk about it without Virgil. And his brother needed space from what just happened.  

 

They were so close.  Emile had  _ seen him _ .  His brother was there, in the mortal plane, for a few seconds.  And somehow that made the failure even worse.  

 

Patton felt new tears sting at his eyes, but he just blinked rapidly and laced his fingers with Virgil’s.  Virgil’s eyes stared at nothing, but his hand twitched as Patton took it.  

 

For the first night in...perhaps ever, the twins didn’t sleep in the attic.  Their mom called the school, and told them that Patton was out sick, and then she made both of them hot chocolate.  Patton sipped at his, but Virgil’s remained untouched. Patton didn’t know when Virgil slipped into sleep, but it was earlier than he had ever fallen asleep.  The sun had barely set. Patton let a small smile flicker onto his face, and then he lay down on the rest of the couch, praying for better dreams to help him forget about what had happened.  

 

He awoke in the morning to Virgil lightly shaking him.  Patton was so happy that his brother seemed to be feeling better that he forgot to be annoyed at being woken up.  He launched upwards, wrapping Virgil in a hug and burying his face in his neck.  

 

“How are you feeling?” he asked.  Virgil sighed, hugging him back briefly before extracting himself from Patton’s arms.  

 

“I don’t think I can try again, Patton,” he said.  His voice was quiet and full of a pain that Patton never wanted him to feel.  

 

“We were close, Virgil,” Patton said, equally as quiet.  “We were nearly there.”

 

“No, I- I  _ can’t _ ,” Virgil insisted.  “I screwed up, I let myself get my hopes up.  I wanted it so badly, and look what happened! It’s never going to work, Patton.  We were close, but it’s never going to work.”

 

“You can’t think like that, Virge,” Patton said.  “If you really want this that badly, then we shouldn’t stop at anything until you’re with me on this plane.”

 

“...Do you want me to go back?”

 

“I’m not answering that.  This isn’t about me. It’s about you, and what you want, and what you’re comfortable with.”

 

“But do you want me to go back?  I know you do.” Virgil was nearly whispering.  Patton sighed.

 

“Yes, you know I do.  But I am not going to make you go back, you have to know that too.”

 

“I do.  I don’t think I can.”

 

Patton gave a small smile, one that tried not to show his own sadness.

 

“Okay then.  You don’t have to,” He said, squeezing Virgil’s hand.  “We need to tell mom and dad what happened, though. Mom was really worried last night.”

 

Virgil winced, remembering what he was like the previous night, but he nodded.  

 

“I hope she’s not disappointed,” He muttered.  Patton’s smile grew a small bit more genuine.

 

“She won’t be.”

 

Patton was right.  He called their mom out to the living room and told her the story while holding Virgil’s hand, and she wasn’t disappointed at all.  She was heartbroken at the effect that the failure had on her sons, but she understood why Virgil hadn’t wanted to tell her. And unbeknownst to her sons, the thing she was disappointed about most was that she couldn’t hug her son to help him feel better.  But she looked meaningfully at Patton, and he motioned to where Virgil’s hand rested on the couch cushion, a good place for her to rest hers on top of it.  

 

“Virgil,” She said.  “I am very proud of you.  You tried so hard, and you did it not only for yourself but for Patton too, and that is very selfless.  If you don’t want to go back, then all of us support you.”

 

Their mother was also disappointed that she couldn’t even tell when her son started crying again.  

 

* * *

 

“ _ Shit. _ ” Virgil hissed, the sound coming sharply from where he was huddled in the corner of the room.  Patton almost instinctively chided him on his language, but held his tongue. He could give Virgil a few passes.  Especially when he looked over to see his brother glaring at his forearms and their most recent addition.  

 

“What’s wrong?” He asked, getting up and moving to sit next to him.  It had been a few hours since they woke up, and the time had been spent in quiet relaxation, with both of them needing to ease their minds.  Patton had left his phone plugged in up in the attic, and he felt bad since he knew that Roman and Logan would be texting him to ask if he was alright.  But today was for him and for Virgil. Tomorrow they could see if they were up for socializing.  

 

Virgil looked up at him and tucked his arms against his chest, a frown on his lips.

 

“I can’t make them go away,” He muttered.  Patton frowned.

 

“What are you doing to try?” He asked.  Virgil sighed.

 

“I’ve been trying some things on my own, to try and change how I look, like Logan suggested.  All I need to do for that is concentrate,” he said. “But now matter how hard I try...these stupid scars won’t go away.”

 

“You really hate them, don’t you?” Patton reached out and pried Virgil’s arm away from his body, pushing up his sleeve to reveal the marks.  Virgil scowled.

 

“How could I not?  After what they symbolize...I just want them  _ off of me _ .”

 

“What do they symbolize?” Patton cocked his head curiously.  He knew what Virgil was going to say, but he needed to hear it.  Only then could he try and help Virgil. Virgil clenched his fist, staring at the scars.

 

“What do you think?  Yesterday...we failed.  I let myself  _ want  _ it, and it failed, and it hurt,” He spat.  Patton traced his fingers over the lightning marks once again, smiling softly.

 

“It did fail, yes,” He admitted, “but that’s not how I see these.”

 

“How are they anything else?”

 

“Because, Virgil, for fourteen years, nothing has hurt you.” Patton locked eyes with his brother, showing him the sincerity in his eyes.  “Believe me when I say that I wish you could go your whole life without being hurt, but this can be seen as something good, too.”

 

Virgil frowned, but the anger had softened in his eyes.  Instead, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

 

“What are you saying?” He asked, his voice quiet.

 

“Virgil, you were alive!  For a few seconds there, long enough for the electricity to scar you, you were  _ alive _ ,” Patton gripped his brother’s hand as his smile grew a little wider.  “I understand where you’re coming from, thinking of these as a sign of failure, a sign that it will never work, but I don’t believe that.”

 

“What are they a sign of, then?” Virgil was looking up at Patton, still unsure.  His other arm was still covered by his sleeve, Virgil had been even more diligent about pulling his sleeves down since the experiment, but Patton gently took that hand too and pushed up the sleeve so that both his arms were visible.  He looked back at Virgil with nothing but hope in his eyes.

 

“Life, Virgil,” He whispered, warm and affectionate.  “They’re proof that you can live.”

 

Virgil’s eyes dropped to his arms with doubt still swimming throughout them.  He stared for a while, tracing each centimeter of the marks carefully and committing them to memory.  Patton watched him fondly.

 

“They rather look like trees, don’t they?” He suggested, seeing Virgil pause in his motions as he spoke.  The scars could be trees, if one looked at them the right way. Virgil wasn’t sure he would ever be able to think of them as anything other than lightning, but he appreciated the second option.  

 

“Trees are nice, but they still look like lightning to me,” he muttered, and Patton chuckled.

 

“Is lightning that bad?  It’s an important part of storms, isn’t it?”

 

“And?”

 

“I think that storms are nice,” Patton said with a soft smile.  “After all, that’s how we met.”

 

Virgil couldn’t argue with that.

 

* * *

 

Patton called in sick the next day too.  He did text both Roman and Logan back, assuring them that he and Virgil were alright, and would probably be back at school the next day, but also asking them to not come over.  Patton knew that explanations were in order, but Virgil came first. And his brother was getting better, but he wasn’t quite okay yet. He still pulled his sleeves down obsessively, but he didn’t scowl at the scars anymore.  Patton was happy about that. But Virgil was still quieter than normal. And that was saying something. Patton knew it had something to do with what they had dubbed The Incident, but he wasn’t sure what they hadn’t talked about yet.  He was getting to the bottom of it, though.  

 

Mom and Dad had been trying their best to get their sons back on their feet after The Incident, with encouragement and affection, but Patton knew that if someone didn’t talk it through with Virgil, then his brother’s thoughts would only let him think the worst.  So in the afternoon, after spending the morning playing board games and just enjoying each other’s company, Patton broke the soft silence.  

 

“So, how are you feeling?”

 

Virgil looked at the rug immediately.

 

“Better,” He said, but his heart wasn’t in it.  Patton set down his game piece and leaned forward.  

 

“I wanted to ask you something,” he said, “and it might not be a question that you want to answer.”

 

“What is it, Pat?”

 

“Why don’t you want to go back?” He hated how sad his voice sounded.  He didn’t want to try and guilt Virgil into it, he was just trying to understand.  “I get that The Incident hit us both hard, but we were close. We can get it next time, I know we can.”

 

Virgil was quiet.  He was worrying his bottom lip between his teeth, fiddling with his game piece as he sat in the silence.  Then he sighed.

 

“You won’t agree…” He sounded defeated.  Patton frowned.

 

“Try me,” he said.  “Even if I don’t, it won’t be a stupid reason, not if it’s upsetting you this much.”

 

Virgil hesitated only a second longer before deflating and dropping his game piece onto the board with a  _ clack _ .  He murmured something that Patton didn’t catch.  He just waited, knowing that Virgil would repeat it when he was ready.  Virgil sat there, staring at the carpet like it held the secrets to his happiness, until he pulled his knees up to his chest and buried his head in his legs.

 

“I don’t deserve it,” He said, only a little bit louder than he had the first time.  Patton still thought he had to have heard it wrong. There was no way that Virgil really thought that, right?  

 

“What?  What do you mean?” he asked, growing worried.  Virgil hugged his knees tighter.

 

“I don’t deserve it, Patton,” He repeated.  “What makes me worthy of living again any more than the other spirits wandering the streets or haunting the school?  I did nothing with my life before I died that would prove I could make the world better by living. I did nothing period!  I was an infant!”

 

“Exactly!  You were an infant, you never got to live in the first place!  And you might not be more worthy than them, but if Emile can perfect this, then maybe some of them could get a second chance too!” Patton argued.  Virgil met his eyes over the tops of his knees.  

 

“So what, he’ll just bring back every ghost?  Sounds great for population problems,” he muttered.  “Patton, I can’t control my emotions even when I have no reason to care about the problems of living people.  I’ve lost control, I almost hurt people, I had  _ wanted  _ to hurt Dee.  I scared the hell out of half the school, I destroyed Emile’s equipment, do you get it yet?” His voice had risen to a desperate plea.  

 

“Virgil…”

 

“I’m dangerous!” Virgil was blinking rapidly, holding back more ghostly tears.  “I am one bad incident from flipping full vengeful, Patton. I can feel it. What happens when I’m no longer held back by the spiritual plane?  I don’t want to hurt anyone, Patton.”

 

Patton moved next to Virgil, the game abandoned next to them.  He wrapped his arms around Virgil, shaking his head.

 

“No.  No, Virge, you aren’t dangerous.  If you really did go vengeful, you would be able to influence the living plane anyway, and with the power of a spirit to go with it.  But that doesn’t matter. Because you aren’t like those spirits, the ones that lose themselves and lash out,” Patton insisted. “You  _ care _ , and you love, and you protect.  You have more heart than anyone, and you have me to keep you on track.  You would never hurt anyone unless they really deserved it, and even then I know you wouldn’t want to.  You’re a good person, and you deserve to live.”

 

Patton felt as Virgil started to shake, his emotions bubbling over again.  The whole house had been on edge since Patton carried Virgil home, with silence ruling over sound and sadness running rampant.  Patton was no stranger to tears, but the past two days have seen more of them than he ever wanted to.  

 

“I want to- I wanna  _ feel _ , Pat.” Virgil clutched Patton’s shoulder, and Patton pulled him closer.  “I don’t care if it’s pain, if it- if feeling hurts, anything would be b-better than this.”

 

“I know, Virge, I know,” Patton murmured soothingly.  “You will. If I have anything to say about it, you will.”

 

“Does this mean I have to go back?” Virgil’s voice was small, with fear laced throughout it.  

 

“You don’t have to do anything.  If you really want to be alive, then going back is our best bet, but I promise that if we do, I won’t let Emile do any more big experiments until he’s absolutely certain.” Patton wasn’t sure how he could do that, but he would promise anything to make Virgil feel better.  

 

“I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything more, and that scares me,” Virgil whispered.  “What if it never works? What if I really am stuck like this?”

 

“It will work,” Patton said firmly.  “But, if it doesn’t, you’ll always have me, and Mom and Dad, and Logan and Roman too.  If it fails again, it’s gonna hurt, yeah. But you’re not going through that alone, and you’ll never be alone.  Friends make us stronger, and you’ve got some of the best ones out there.”

 

Virgil was quiet.  He seemed to be thinking something through, and Patton sat back from the hug to watch his face.  It was sad.

 

“I think Roman is mad at me,” He muttered.  Patton frowned, confused.  

 

“What makes you think that?”

 

“I think he thinks I'm avoiding him.” Virgil stared over Patton’s shoulder at the wall.  “I still don’t think I can tell him about this.”

 

“He won’t be upset, Virgil,” Patton encouraged.  “If there’s one thing I know about Roman, it’s that he cares a whole lot about all of us.  He’ll be more upset that it upset  _ you _ .”

 

“I know.  I  _ know _ it will be fine,” Virgil groaned, dropping his head into his hands.  “But I don’t want to look at him and tell him that I failed. I don’t want to tell him that I  _ tried _ , but he’s still gonna have to live out his whole life before he even gets to hold my hand.”

 

Patton smiled softly, shifting to sit against the wall.

 

“You really like him, don’t you?” He asked.  Virgil glanced up, searching for teasing in Patton’s eyes, and when he found none he looked back down with a twitch of his lips. 

 

“I think so, yeah,” He said quietly.  “How can I not, after he promised to live his whole life with the thought of me, not letting it hold him back but still  _ there _ , waiting.  I think if he could, he would fight the spirit plane until it let me go.”

 

He chuckled softly, a smile pulling at his face.  Patton reached out to grab one of his hands.

 

“He’s a good one, that’s for sure,” Patton said.  “I think it’s sweet of you to not want him to stop everything and be with you, but I hope you know my opinion on the matter is that if he really likes you too, he’s not gonna find anyone else no matter how hard he tries.”

 

The smile on Virgil’s face flickered into a frown.

 

“That’s what I’m afraid of…” He sighed.  “I just don’t want him to have to deal with dating a ghost.  He doesn’t deserve that.”

 

“You aren’t something to ‘deal with’, Virge, don’t say things like that,” Patton frowned as he chided gently.  “I think that if anyone knows what they’re doing in regards to the whole spirit thing, it’s Roman. He’s a smart cookie, he can make his own choices.”

 

“Pat…”

 

“I’m not saying you should stop waiting, that’s up to you,” Patton assured him.  “I’m behind you no matter what, I’m just telling you my opinion. And about telling him?  If you want to wait a little longer, give it one more try, then I think he’ll understand.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Really.  Is this you saying that you  _ do  _ want to try again?  We still have at least a few days until Emile gets his equipment running again, so you have time to think.” Patton watched Virgil curiously.  Virgil thought for a moment, his eyes darting around the room as he went through the options, until they stopped on Patton. As his brother met his eyes, Patton smiled.  And Virgil gave a small smile back.

 

“As long as you’re there, I think I can try again,” He said.  Patton felt his heart light up, he  _ knew  _ that they could get it this time!  He leaned forward and wrapped Virgil in a hug.

 

“I will  _ never _ not be there.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last chapter this saturday, guys. Thats gotta be an Oof from me. I hope yall enjoyed this chapter, and I'll see you for the final one in a few days. I love all of u who read this, it means the World to me :)<3


	17. Out of Hiding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new chapter begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Roman, Chapter 7: If you are here, speak to us
> 
> Virgil: juST A CITY BOY
> 
>  
> 
> Have a very long final chapter everyone, i hope you enjoy!!

Virgil was happy to find out that Emile wouldn’t be ready to do anything until the next weekend.  He was upset and angry at himself, that it was his fault all the equipment was shorted out, but he couldn’t help the slight relief that it had bought him some time.  Time that he needed to sort some things out. Patton helped, as he always did, but Virgil needed a second opinion. He needed someone else to tell him that he wasn’t dangerous.  That if he was alive, he wouldn’t be as dangerous, his anger wouldn’t be as big of a deal. His fear and how easily it controlled him...it wouldn’t mean as much as it did now. It wouldn’t mean losing himself.  

 

Unfortunately, the only opinion he really wanted on the matter was the person who seemed perfectly fine avoiding him.  Although, Virgil couldn’t blame him. He had spent a bit trying to avoid Roman himself, so he wouldn’t cave and go back on his promise to let Roman live his own life.  It was his own fault that Roman was upset now, and so it was harder than it normally was to get Roman on his own. As it was, he had to get all four of them together and then get Patton to drag Logan off before Roman could realize what was happening.  Even still, Roman watched Logan hurry after Patton with a slight frown on his face.  

 

“So, you want to talk to me now?” he asked, and Virgil winced.

 

“I’m...I’m sorry, Roman.” He couldn’t look at Roman, he couldn’t see the expression on his face.  “I didn’t mean to make you upset.”

 

Roman sighed.  “I’m not  _ upset _ , Virgil, I’m hurt.  What is it, are you regretting our promise?  If that’s it, just tell me. I can take it.”

 

“No, no, that’s not it!’ Virgil insisted, leaning onto the table.  “I mean, the promise has something to do with it, but not like that.”

 

“Like what, then?  You’re pushing me away so that I find someone else?  That’s not what I thought our deal was.” Roman wasn’t looking at Virgil either.  Virgil sighed.

 

“No.  I was avoiding you so that I wouldn’t regret making that deal.  So that I wouldn’t regret telling you to wait.” He muttered, knowing that it was a weak excuse as he said it.  He could hear the frown in Roman’s voice.  

 

“Do you regret it?”

 

“No,” Virgil’s voice was quiet, “I don’t.  But that’s not all of it. I know I owe you an explanation, but I just need you to trust me for a little longer.  I...I can’t tell you. You deserve to know, but I just can’t.”

Silence.  The bench squealed in protest as Roman pulled his legs up beside him. 

 

“Why not?” His voice was still clipped, still upset.  Virgil hoped that soon, Roman could see him without his Sight and he would understand.  When Virgil answered, his voice was barely a breath. But Roman was close enough to hear.

 

“Because I don’t want to have to tell you that it was for nothing.  I don’t want to have to say that I failed.” Virgil hated lying as much as Patton did, but he also hated the sick feeling that came with telling a truth that he didn’t like.  A truth that he had said before, but never to the person in question.  

 

“That  _ what  _ was for nothing?” Roman asked.  “Does this have something to do with where you and Patton have been running off to?  Where have you two been going?”

 

Virgil leaned his head on his arms.  “Yeah, it has to do with that. But that’s what I can’t say.”

 

They both fell quiet again.  Virgil could feel that Roman didn’t like that answer.  But Virgil couldn’t give him any more. So he decided to get out with it, and ask what he needed to know.

 

“Roman?” he asked, hearing a questioning hum that told him to continue.  “Am I dangerous?”

 

Roman raised his eyebrows at the sudden subject change, but he saw the serious expression on Virgil’s face, and they lowered again.  He felt his lips twitch into a smile, as he almost forgot that he was supposed to be mad.  

 

“Where did that come from?” he asked.  “Of course you’re not.”

 

“What about that day in the hallway?  You thought it would be hard for that to happen, but it was  _ easy _ .  I could have hurt people.  What’s stopping me from doing that again?”

 

He had already been through this with Patton, but Roman had been around spirits his whole life.  He would know for sure.  

 

Roman laughed a little, his smile turning fond.

 

“Virgil, yeah.  Yeah, it was easier than I thought.  But...think of it this way,” He said, trying to think of how best to put it.  “You are just as dangerous as anyone else. I could hurt people too, it would be easy.  But I don’t  _ want  _ to, and that’s what separates me from the real dangerous people.”

 

“I  _ did  _ want to, though,” Virgil whispered.  “I wanted to.”

 

Roman hesitated. 

 

“Well, yes.  That’s how vengeful spirits work.  It kind of...overrides your values.” He watched Virgil, saw as he hunched in on himself at that answer.  “I don’t know what that feels like, since that is kind of a spirit-only thing, but I believe that it’s something you can fight against, if you know how.”

 

He saw Virgil perk up a bit, and he thought that it was at the thought of fighting against the vengeful thoughts.  Really, Virgil had latched onto the sentence about it being only a spirit thing. Humans didn’t feel that override.  They didn’t have that loss of sense when they got angry. Could it really be that easy? Virgil didn’t want to hurt anyone, and if he was alive then he wouldn’t feel the urge to  _ want  _ to.  

 

“Thank you,” Virgil said, finally looking at Roman.  Roman gave a small smile.

 

“Anytime.  Can I ask what that was about?  I didn’t think you were worried about that.”

 

Virgil frowned.  

“I can’t.”

 

“Can’t or won’t?” Roman asked, his fingers tapping on the table.  His smile was still there, but Virgil knew it would be gone soon. The reprieve was over.  They were back on rocky ground. Virgil pulled his sleeves down over his hands.

 

“Fine.  Won’t,” Virgil admitted.  “I don’t want to, not yet.”

 

“Alright, you won’t tell me, I’ll just get Patton to tell me.  If I ask him, he’s not gonna lie to me,” Roman said, and Virgil felt his fist clench. 

 

“No, don’t bring him into this,” he said sternly.  “If you’re mad at me for not wanting to tell you, then be mad at me.  He’s keeping it a secret because I want him to.”

 

“Do you think I would be mad or something?  If you told me? What could possibly be so bad that you won’t tell me?  I thought we were close, Virgil,” Roman said, and Virgil started as if he had been slapped.

 

“We  _ are  _ close, Roman, what are you talking about?”

 

“It doesn’t feel like it!  You’re avoiding me, keeping secrets, and how long have you been worried about being dangerous before you asked me?  What is going on with you, Virgil?” Roman was gesturing with his hands now, a sign he was getting emotional. Virgil crossed his arms, wrapping them around himself and squeezing.  

 

“Nothing is ‘going on’ with me, I—”

 

“—Bullshit!” Roman interrupted, his eyes sharpening.  “Something is going on, I know it. The only possible thing I can think of is that you don’t want our promise anymore, but you already said that wasn’t it, and so I have no clue what could possibly—”

 

“—Roman, I’m trying to  _ live _ !” Virgil blurted, the words ripping themselves from his throat before he could stop them.  He just needed Roman to stop thinking down that path. He couldn’t listen as Roman doubted him.  Silence rang in the wake of his words, Roman watching him in confusion.  

 

“What?” Roman asked, his voice an amalgam of confusion, affection, hope, and fear.  Virgil frowned, staring back down at his hands.

“That’s all I can say right now,” he said, his voice losing its fire.  “But…Patton was right, wasn’t he? If you really care about me, you won’t find anyone else no matter how hard you look.”

 

Roman frowned, but his eyes were as open as ever.  They spoke the truth.  

 

“Patton said that?”

 

“Was he right?” Virgil needed to hear it.  Roman flushed, looking at the table.  

 

“I think he was,” He admitted, finding the wood grain suddenly very interesting to avoid looking at Virgil face.  If he had, he would have seen a rare sight, Virgil’s own fond smile.  

 

“I don’t want to make you wait.  If it’s gonna be me no matter what, then making you wait is what’s really holding you back.” Virgil was thinking aloud a bit, but he found that he meant what he said.  And that was why he was going back to Emile’s. Well, that and a few other reasons.  

 

“Does that mean…” Virgil heard the hope in Roman’s voice, and he hated to take that away for a little longer.  But he was this close. Just a little longer.  

 

“Not yet.  But...hopefully soon,” He said softly.  There was quiet, but this one was more comfortable.  The tension had faded, and Roman nodded.

 

“Alright,” he said.  “I trust you. I’ll stop pushing.”

 

His hand was resting gently on the wooden table, unintentionally right in the middle of him and Virgil.  Virgil watched it, before his eyes flicked to the scene around them. It was spring, and Virgil was shocked at how fast Patton’s high school years had flown.  Their junior year was almost done. Soon he would be thinking about college, and then jobs, and then his life beyond that. Virgil wondered what he would do, if Emile managed to bring him back.  Would he even be able to go to college?  

 

He cut himself off of that train of thought before it got dark, instead focusing on the things right around him.  The grass, bright green and full of life. It looked soft, and Virgil wished he could feel it. The sky was the same shade as the water, deep and limitless across the horizon.  Empty of clouds but still full of something wonderful. Virgil looked up at it, the glare of the sun bringing him no pain, and he felt a small smile on his face. The world really was beautiful.  If he got a second chance, he was going to appreciate it with all he had.  

 

Virgil made a choice.  He didn’t like the feeling of touching those that he passed through, but he wanted to show that he wasn’t going anywhere.  He might not be ready to start anything until he knew if the experiments would fail or not, but he wasn’t letting Roman go that easily either.  So as his hand overlapped with Roman’s, the closest he could get to holding it, he saw the surprised smile on Roman’s face.  

 

And Virgil felt alright.  

 

* * *

 

“Patton, I’m okay.  I feel like I shouldn’t be, but I am.” Virgil was surprised by how much the past few days had helped him.  Talking to Patton, talking to Roman, and just hanging out with Logan...he was doing fine for once. Which was good, as they were on their way to Emile’s house.  Again. This was the second visit since Emile got his equipment working, and they were taking things slow. Emile wanted to figure out what went wrong the last time before he even thought about trying that again.  Virgil appreciated that.

 

“I know you are, I just wanted to make sure.  You’ve been zoning out more,” Patton said, his hands in his pockets as the two walked casually down the street.  Virgil shrugged.

“I’ve been...thinking.”

 

“About what?” 

 

“What I’m gonna do if this works,” Virgil answered.  Patton gave him a look.

 

“ _ When  _ this works,” He corrected.  Virgil sighed.

“Okay.  When this works.  I’ve just been wrapping my head around the fact that I’ll actually have to  _ do  _ things.  Like...is college an option for me?” He asked.  “I’ve been dead for sixteen years according to every legal record, so changing that will probably take a miracle.  I don’t even know what I want to do.”

 

“Virge, we are seventeen years old, we both have time.  You think I know what I want to do?” Patton laughed. “I have no clue what to do about the legal record thing, but we can ask Emile.  He might know. I mean, it’s not like they can say you’re not actually dead if you’re standing in front of them, right?”

 

“Remember Logan?  Denial is a powerful thing, Pat,” Virgil grinned.  Patton rolled his eyes as he smiled.

 

“Yeah, but DNA doesn’t lie.  If there’s one thing that Logan managed to teach me last year, it was literally everything about DNA.  I would have failed biology without him.”

 

“Yes, I know, I was in the room when he tutored you,” Virgil teased.  “I remember his scandalized face when I suggested I look at the teacher’s key and give you the answers.”

 

“It was pretty funny,” Patton chuckled.  “That suggestion was a joke though, right?  Because cheating is bad, Virgil.”

“Yes, Patton, it was a joke,” Virgil glared lightly at him.  “But seriously, what do you think I could do? I doubt I could even get into college at this point, considering I’ve never been to school in any official capacity.”

 

“Now let’s not be a debbie downer here, there’s still plenty you can do!” Patton grinned brightly.  “College isn’t for everyone anyway, and since you’re right that you’ve never officially been to school, it might not be the best option for you.”

 

“Are you thinking about college?” Virgil asked, his nerves spiking.  He tried to keep his voice even, but Patton noticed his hands curling around his sleeves.  Patton’s smile softened.

 

“Yeah, but don’t worry,” he said, “I don’t want to go far away.  There’s a good school only an hour away from here, I’ve been thinking about checking that one out.”

“It’ll be strange, if you go,” Virgil admitted.  “If you go and I’m not your spirit shadow.”

 

“We’ve never really been apart, have we?” Patton mused.  “The longest you haven’t been right at my side was...maybe a day?  It’ll be just as weird for me, so I expect you to visit a lot.”

 

“Already planning on it,” Virgil said.  “You’ll get sick of me visiting soon enough.”

 

“Never.” Patton reached out to take Virgil’s hand.  He meant it. Virgil had been such a constant in his life since they were two, he would never get sick of seeing him.  “And as for what you can do, well, you’ve always liked reading. And while you’ve never had the chance to do it, I think you would take a shine to writing if you put your mind to it.”

 

Virgil looked at him, calculating but hopeful.

 

“You really think so?”

“Of course I do!  Not to mention…” Patton trailed off with a smile.  “I’m sure a lot of people would love to read a first person account of life as a spirit.”

 

Virgil scoffed.  “If they even believe it’s true.”

 

“You’ve got five people to back you up on that, and worst case, you publish it as fiction!” Patton nudged Virgil with his shoulder.  “Don’t worry about the future, you’ve got a lot of options.”

 

“Thanks, Patton.” Virgil nudged his brother back.  

 

As Emile’s house came into view, Virgil felt something different in the set of his shoulders and the purpose in his stride.  Determination. He might still be unsure if this would work, despite Patton’s insistence, but there were people waiting for him.  People that he loved. He was ready.  

 

Virgil would rip a hole in the spirit plane with his bare hands if he had to.  

 

* * *

 

It took months, but Emile figured it out.  The day after school let out, as the four friends were celebrating their summer, Patton got a call.  He looked at his phone, looked at Virgil with not-at-all disguised hope in his eyes, and darted off to answer the call.  Roman watched him go but didn’t press it, something that Virgil appreciated, but Logan frowned.

 

“Where is he going?  Is everything alright?” He asked.  

 

“It seemed fine,” Roman said.  Virgil nodded.

 

“It’s a family thing,” He said, signing for Logan.  He had to be extra careful of his sleeves when he signed, or else the two of them would see his new scars, but luckily they hadn’t noticed anything.  “It looks like good news.”

 

Sure enough, Patton was grinning giddily as he spoke, too far away for any of them to hear what he was saying.  But nothing could block the joy in his eyes. Virgil felt it start to root in him too, his lips threatening to curl upwards as he watched Patton start pacing excitedly back and forth.  This was good. It had to be good.  

 

“He does seem happy,” Logan commented.  “Is it a private family matter?”

 

“Well,” Virgil made a face, “not exactly.  But if I’m reading his face right, you’ll find out soon.”

 

It took Roman repeating his words for Virgil to realize that he forgot to sign.  He wanted to joke that hopefully he wouldn’t need to do that soon, but the closer they got to success, the more he wanted to make it a surprise.  But, the closer they got, the harder it became to not tell them. Especially when Patton was exuding his excitement like it was sweat. Virgil could practically feel it in the air, like an aura of joy that infected the other two as well.  Even Logan was watching Patton pace with a slight smile on his face. Virgil almost didn’t want the phone call to end, for Patton’s joyful miasma to subside, but that just wasn’t feasible. It only lasted another half a minute before Patton hung up and bounded back over to the group.  Everyone had questions on their faces, but Patton only had eyes for Virgil’s. He grinned.

 

“Tomorrow, Virge,” He said.  Virgil wished he could feel his heart skip a beat, as he knew that would be its reaction to the news.  Tomorrow. Emile had cracked it, he had fixed the problem, and it was happening  _ tomorrow _ .  He felt a grin that bordered on giddy spreading across his face, and he could see the baffled expressions on both Roman and Logan.

 

“What is tomorrow?” Roman asked, and Patton turned with a small wince.

 

“Well, is it alright if we tell you tomorrow?” He returned.  “Why don’t you two come over tomorrow? Sometime after noon, I’ll text you?”

 

Logan and Roman exchanged a look, or rather a whole conversation of looks, before Logan nodded at Patton.

 

“Great!” Patton exclaimed.  “Now, what were we talking about again?”

 

The other three got back onto the previous conversation, but Virgil’s head was far away.  For the first time since the failure, he actually felt  _ good  _ about this.  Like maybe, just  _ maybe _ , the universe was throwing him a bone and giving him something good.  A second goddamn chance. A new life. It wasn’t often that he thought about the circumstances of his death, since it didn’t help that he couldn’t remember it, but whenever the thought crossed his mind he just got upset.  Because it wasn’t fair! Why did he have to get sick? Why was he taken when he was barely given time to be alive?  

Virgil didn’t like to think about that, and so he usually didn’t.  But with this second chance only a day away, he felt like it was the universe righting something that it had gotten wrong sixteen years ago.  His life was going to be just that. A life. And for the first time in a while, Virgil felt like he deserved that.  

 

Virgil rejoined the conversation with a new light in his eyes and a looser grip on his sleeves.  There was a new feeling in his chest, one that he knew very well from being in proximity to Patton, but had rarely felt himself.  One that made him reach out and link his hand with Patton, letting him know that Virgil was happy. A feeling that had him laughing a bit more than normal.

 

_ Excitement _ .

 

* * *

 

“So, you’re absolutely certain that you fixed what went wrong?” Patton asked Emile, the twins sitting down on the now familiar couch.  It was the early morning, and both brothers were tired, but neither of them could even think about sleeping when this was happening. Emile grinned from behind his laptop.  There were new lights overhead, and many of the wires underfoot had been cleared away.  

 

“I am!  Turns out, the energy levels would have worked, but there were too many wires.  So either we take some of the wires away, and opt for a more concentrated approach, or we lower the voltage and go for a slower process,” He explained.  Patton cocked his head.

 

“Would slower mean safer in this context?” 

 

“Not particularly.  Overall it’ll be the same energy levels, so it’s up to Virgil if he wants to go slow or get it over with.”

 

Virgil scoffed.

 

“My middle name is ‘get it over with’,” He said.  Patton nudged him.

 

“No, your middle name is Analise, Mom was really proud of that one,” He corrected with a smile.  Then he turned to Emile. “He’s pretty fond of not dragging things out.”

 

And so, ten minutes later, Virgil was sitting comfortably on the couch with only two wires.  One wrapped gently around his head, and the other around his chest, right over his heart. He already liked this layout better, it was far easier to hold up two wires than ten.  He was on edge due to anticipation of pain, but Patton grabbed his hand with a soft smile.

 

“Are you ready?” he asked, the look in his eyes saying that it was perfectly okay to say no.  But Virgil was done waiting. However, there was one last thing he needed to do.

 

“One thing,” he said.  “If this is really it, if this is the one, then I’m not having my first day of life be filled with Roman calling me emo.”

 

“What do you mean?” Patton asked, clearly confused.  Virgil grinned a bit nervously.

 

“I figure that a new life needs a new look, right?” He asked, and Patton lit up.  He leaned forward, nodding excitedly, waiting for Virgil to show him. Virgil suddenly felt self-conscious, but he closed his eyes and concentrated anyway.  He pictured the outfit that he had designed for himself, the hoodie he had altered and the small bit of brightness that he was proud of. He heard a light gasp from Patton.  

 

“Oh my gosh,” He breathed.  “Virgil, I  _ love  _ it!”

 

Virgil’s eyes opened and he felt himself laugh a little in relief.  It worked! Sure, it had worked before, but he had just held it for a few seconds, to look and edit.  Now, it was staying. His hoodie was suddenly filled with splotches of his favorite shade of purple, his shirt was a few shades more purple than black, and his shoes were now lace-up combat boots that he had seen online but just knew that Mom and Dad wouldn’t let him get because they were pretty expensive.  Well, they can’t stop him from getting them if they’re what he comes back to life in, right? Virgil prided himself on loopholes. And then there was his hair. Virgil had added that just a few days earlier. He figured, if his scars already made him less identical to Patton, then it was time to embrace that a little more.  It’s what Patton would want him to do. Virgil smiled at Patton through the veil of his now purple bangs, seeing the shine of tears fill Patton’s eyes.

 

“Hey now,” he said, “no crying until I’m alive, okay?”

 

Patton wiped his eyes and laughed.

 

“Sorry, I’m just a bit excited.  Should I tell Emile to start?”

 

Virgil took a breath.  And then another. And then one more for good luck.  

 

He nodded.  

 

Emile flipped the switch.  

 

Electricity shocked through Virgil’s body once again, but rather than double forward in agony, he was able to stay upright.  Ramrod straight and gritting his teeth, but upright nonetheless. He was gripping Patton’s hand, and he wanted to apologize for how hard he was squeezing it, but words weren’t forming in his mouth or brain.  All he could focus on was the pain. It was less, but it was still there and still so much more than he had ever known his whole existence. It didn’t fluctuate like it had the last time either, just a steady stream of energy flowing into his body at the designated points and spreading through his limbs like water through a river.  

 

He vaguely noticed Patton let go, shaking his hand lightly with an apologetic look on his face.  Virgil felt bad, he probably shocked him accidentally with excess energy, but he couldn’t find any way to form that thought.  

 

The lights overhead flickered.  Off and on, on and off, but never shattering.  The data on the new monitors was off the charts, flipping wildly between maximum and minimum, the graphs looking less like a line and more like a solid mass of color.  Virgil couldn’t help but shut his eyes as he held back a shout from the pain. He felt it in his wrists, arcing up and down his scars, the scars that this very same energy put on his skin, but it didn’t burn this time.  It settled, sparked, and sunk into his skin with a faint glow. He could see a glow everywhere, really. The corners of his vision was nearly white, sparkling and shimmering until—

 

Everything stopped.  The energy receded so fast that Virgil slumped forward and fell right off the couch.  He hit the floor with a thud.  

 

Something warm touched his shoulder.  

 

“Virgil?” Patton’s voice was soft, but drew his attention like a gunshot.  “Are you okay?”

 

Virgil cracked his eyes open, they felt sticky.  Like someone had glued them shut and he was prying them open a week later.  He coughed, his throat was dry all of a sudden.  

 

“Did it-” he was cut off by another set of coughing, as Patton carefully took the wires off of his head and chest.  “Did it work?”

 

He wasn’t asking Patton, not really, since Patton wouldn’t even know.  He could always touch Virgil, so there really was no way for him to distinguish if it worked or not.  But Emile could, and Virgil might have been excited and a bit hopeful, but faced now with the prospect of another failure?  He couldn’t try and ask Emile directly.  

 

Patton took Virgil’s face in his hands, feeling his cheeks with his hot hands.  Had Patton’s hands always been that warm? It was strange, Virgil didn’t remember them being warm…

 

Patton broke his thoughts by beginning to cry.  And Virgil finally put two and two together. He reached up, hesitantly, and put his hand over his brother’s.  

 

The very first thing Virgil felt besides Patton’s caring hands was the sudden chill of tears falling down his face.  

 

Patton gathered Virgil into his arms, hugging his brother for  _ real _ this time, and they shed tears of joy until Virgil shot upright.

 

“Mom and Dad,” He said, his eyes wide.  “We need to go see Mom and Dad.”

 

“They’re gonna be so happy,” Patton was smiling so wide that it hurt.  Virgil looked over his shoulder as Patton helped him up, meeting Emile’s eyes.

 

“Thank you,” he said.  “I literally owe you my life.”

 

“No,” Emile waved him off with a light chuckle, “you don’t.  It was my pleasure, really. And you helped me, too. Now go enjoy your life.”

 

Virgil didn’t have to be told twice.  He raced Patton home, getting used to the odd feeling of his body having weight.  His feet threatened to tangle underneath him, but the mere thought of getting home as fast as he could kept them from tripping him.  He felt the soft material of his hoodie on his arms, the heat from wearing layers in mid-June, adjusting to the sudden warmth of the summer sun.  He made the mistake of looking up at it to admire the sky, and he felt the sting in his eyes but he couldn’t bring himself to be upset. Feeling the pavement pound beneath his feet and the wind flap his hoodie around until it became a hazard to run with.  He felt like a kid, experiencing the world for the first time. And, in a way, he was.  

 

“Mom?  Dad?” Patton called as he opened the door.  “We have something that you need to see.”

 

The sound of footsteps rang in the hall until their parents appeared in the doorway.  Virgil met their eyes with a shaky grin. They were both frozen, staring at him with unreadable expressions on their faces.  He couldn’t tell what they were thinking, but Virgil found that he wasn’t scared.  

 

“Hi Mom,” he said, barely more than a whisper but feeling louder than anything he’d ever said, “hi Dad.”

 

The third major thing that Virgil felt was the loving feeling of being utterly crushed in a hug.  The kind of hug made by people who have just regained something that they thought they would never have again.

 

Virgil buried his face into his Mom’s shoulder, and he couldn’t help it as he gripped them both like lifelines.

 

* * *

 

It took half an hour for the hug to unwind and for the whole family to sit down on the couch with Virgil squished between the other three.  Patton happily explained what had happened at Emile’s house, his smile splitting his face the whole time.  

 

“So this...this is permanent?” Mom asked, her voice full of wonder and bewilderment.  Virgil leaned more into her.

 

“Yeah,” he said, his voice still fairly quiet.  “It’s pretty permanent.”

 

“Oh thank god,” She let out a breath, wrapping her arm around Virgil’s shoulder and resting her head on his, her forehead on his hair.  

 

“You’re all grown up now,” Dad noted with a smile, his eyes soft as they took in what Virgil looked like.  A mirror of Patton, with a few distinct changes. Mom had fussed over his scars, but he found now that he was alive...they didn’t bother him as much.  Sure, they weren’t all that pretty and they were noticeable if he didn’t pull his sleeves down, but when it was just him looking down at those lightning strikes shooting towards his elbow?  He got what Patton meant when he said they symbolized life.  

 

“You’re  _ skinny _ ,” Mom corrected with a small smirk, “which means you need to eat.  When was the last time you actually ate?”

 

“For nutrition or for fun?” Virgil clarified.  “Because if it’s the first one, then that was before I died.”

 

“Yeah, I’m making you a big lunch, there is no arguing here.” Mom sounded stern, but the joy in her eyes watered down the effect.  She didn’t seem to care much.  

 

“That sounds great, Mom,” Virgil replied, feeling something warm in his chest that bloomed outward and spread through his bones.  “Thank you.”

 

“Patton, you mentioned something about Roman and Logan stopping by later?  Should I make something for them too?” She turned to face Patton, who thought for a moment.

 

“No, I don’t think you need to,” He said.  “I haven’t even texted them to come over yet, so that can wait until after we have some time to ourselves.”

 

“I wonder how long it’ll take them to notice,” Virgil mused, and Patton giggled.

 

“As soon as you speak, Logan’s gonna put it together,” he said.  “There’s nothing you can hide from Logan for too long.”

 

“If I wasn’t actually thrilled to be alive again and to actually  _ meet  _ Logan face to face and voice to voice,” Virgil started, leaning forward onto his knees, “I would take that as a challenge.”

 

“If I wasn’t so excited to see the looks on their faces when they do realize it,” Patton replied, “I would take you up on that challenge.”

 

“You win this round, Pat.”

 

“I’ll take your sappy words to my own grave, Virge.”

 

“Appreciated.”

 

“You know,” Mom looked between the twins with a mischievous grin, “it’s nice to be able to hear both sides of the sibling banter.  Really adds some context.”

 

Virgil could feel her eyes on him, and he had to keep himself from starting to cry again.  It was just so much. So many feelings, so many emotions...he loved each and every one but they built up fast.  He felt a hand on his arm and he stiffened because Patton was across from him, and there was no way for anyone but Patton to—

 

Right.  Dad could touch him now.  Virgil relaxed into his dad’s embrace, taking a breath that finally appeased his burning lungs.  They actually needed him to breathe now, and they weren’t happy with his tendency to forget that.  He liked it, though, it was calming. Breathing in and out, it was regular and it was a pattern. Focusing on his breathing also made his heartbeat more prominent in his chest, and he loved feeling the steady beat underneath his skin.  He didn’t realize it would feel so... _ strong _ .  

 

“Virgil?” Dad looked down at him, and Virgil blinked.  Had he been speaking?  

 

“I- Sorry,” Virgil muttered.  “What were you saying?”

 

Dad just smiled understandingly, not chiding Virgil for spacing out.  “I said, are you doing alright? This must be a lot.”

 

Virgil couldn’t help but laugh a little, because he had  _ no  _ idea.  Being dead and coming back was one thing, but Virgil’s whole life had been his death.  He had no prior experience with gravity or the solidity of items or heat or cold, no experience with a heartbeat or breathing or actually needing to eat and sleep.  Everything he did for years was just to seem normal, or because Mom’s food felt like home despite Virgil being unable to taste anything, or because sleeping meant he didn’t have to think about anything.  Virgil knew more about being dead than being alive, and this was a completely new adventure for him. 

 

But Patton was there, watching him affectionately from his seat, and Virgil knew that everything would be okay.  So he gave his dad a small, tentative smile, and a nod.

 

“Yeah, Dad,” He said quietly.  “It’s a lot. But I feel great.”

 

Virgil found that he really did mean that.  He was feeling a lot of things, and great was one of them.

 

Virgil knew it was too good to be true that he had seemed to cry himself out.  Because the instant he took his first bite of the lunch his mom had made for him, he felt his eyes sting again.  It was just...he could finally taste it. And he suddenly wanted to go back to all those meals he had passed up or ignored or slept through, because he was missing out on  _ this  _ and he knew that his younger self would have loved this.  He felt bad, since his mom had refused to leave his side except to make the food, and she had to watch him cry again, but she just wrapped him in another long overdue hug and let him get used to what he had lost in death.  

 

Patton texted Logan and Roman an hour later, after Virgil had eaten and been sufficiently hugged by both parents.  Well, for now. They had a lot of lost time to make up for, after all. Sixteen years of lost time.  

 

“Do you want us here?  Or would you rather it be more private?” Mom asked as Virgil buried his face in the fluffy blanket on the couch.  When he replied, his voice was muffled.

 

“I want you here.  But I think it would be better if it was more private,” He said, sounding disappointed as he said it but not taking it back.  Mom and Dad nodded.

 

“We get it,” Dad said.  “Call us if you need anything, we won’t be far.”

 

He stood up and pressed a kiss to Virgil’s head, with his forehead currently covered by the soft fabric of the blanket.  Mom ruffled Virgil’s hair and gave Patton another hug, whispering yet another thank you into his ear before she left. Both of their parents felt like they did something wrong, that it wasn’t Patton’s job to work to bring Virgil back, that was something they were supposed to do.  But they were too grateful to Patton and too filled with love for their lost son that they didn’t want to dwell on that guilt. The past was the past. They had the future to look forward to now.  

 

Virgil sat there, his head buried in the blanket, until there was a knock on the door.  He felt his heart jolt at the sound, a feeling that made him let out a breathless laugh as he heard Patton get up.  A hand fell on his shoulder and he raised his head to meet his brother’s eyes.

 

“How do you feel?” Patton asked, his eyes flicking up to the door and then back down.  Virgil bundled the blanket in his arms, reveling in the feeling of the soft material against his skin, and he gave Patton a small smile that spoke a thousand words.

 

“Better than I ever have,” he said, honestly.  “Go let them in, before I lose the need to hug as many people as I possibly can.”

 

“Well you can hug us all as much as you want now.” Patton was beaming.  Virgil knew that, of course he did, but he kept feeling like maybe he’d wake up soon.  So he needed to do this, just in case he did. At least then he’d have this dream to keep him going.  Patton squeezed his shoulder lightly before walking to the other side of the couch and over to the door.  Virgil leaned onto the arm of the couch, knowing that he was slightly out of view except for the top of his head.  

 

“Hey guys, glad you could make it,” Patton greeted as he swung the door open.  Virgil heard Logan make a concerned noise.

 

“Patton are you alright?  You look like you’ve been crying,” He asked, and Patton let out a chuckle.

 

“I’m fine, Logan,” He said lightly.  “Really, I’m doing great. C’mon in, we’ve got some stuff to explain.”

 

It didn’t take much longer until the three of them made their way around the couch and Roman and Logan stopped and stared.  

 

Virgil gave a small wave, not speaking yet.  Roman’s jaw had dropped open, and Logan was scanning Virgil’s body with an inquisitive look.

 

“Virgil?” Roman asked, his voice soft.  “You did it! You changed your look!”

 

“It looks good,” Logan added with a smile.  “It looks like you.”

 

“He’s been working on it for a while now,” Patton said with a proud grin.  Roman frowned a little, his eyebrows furrowing.

 

“Is this what you’ve been so secretive about?  I don’t...I don’t get it,” he sounded a little hurt, “why didn’t you tell us?”

 

“That’s not it, Roman,” Patton cut in again.  “I know it seems like he was keeping secrets, but it’s more than just his appearance.”

 

Silence rang as Roman looked between the brothers.  Logan was still scanning Virgil, as if he could tell something was different just by looking at him.  Which, knowing Logan, he might be able to do just that.

 

“Well then what was it?” Roman asked.  “That’s why we’re here, right?”

 

Virgil felt a grin widen on his face as he opened his mouth.

 

“It’s this, princey.” He could hear his own voice, lower than Patton’s and scratchy from crying, but breathless and full of affection nonetheless.  He watched as Roman looked confused, and he saw as Logan’s hands flew to cover his mouth as his eyes widened. He was looking frantically from Virgil to Patton and back again, putting it together like they knew he would as soon as he heard Virgil’s voice.  Roman, however, needed a little more of a push. He was frowning, not sure what Virgil meant by that, when he turned and saw Logan staring in surprise and awe.  

 

“Logan?  What—”

 

“—I  _ heard  _ you.” Logan was barely whispering, but his words echoed in the room.  He reached up and he took off his glasses, not caring as the frames tumbled to the floor, settling on the rug as Logan kept watching Virgil with his blurry vision.  “You’re…”

 

“...alive?” Roman finished his sentence with a small gasp.  Quick as a flash, as Logan stood shellshocked with his eyes blinking like suddenly his vision would heal too, Roman was darting across the carpet to stand in front of Virgil.  His hand reached out hesitantly, halting less than an inch from Virgil’s cheek. His eyes met Virgil’s, full of questions and yet swimming with fear of the answers he didn’t want to hear.  He couldn’t move his hand the rest of the way. Virgil looked up at him, gave a brief hint of a fond smile, and leaned his face into Roman’s hand. Roman’s breath hitched at the contact, his eyes stinging as they began to well with tears.  “How?”

 

“It’s a long story,” Virgil started, the smile returning to his face and staying there this time.  “Sorry for not telling you.”

 

“It makes sense now, at least,” Roman admitted, “when you said you didn’t want to tell me you had failed.”

 

His eyes were still examining every inch of Virgil’s face, like he was worried it would fade away underneath his fingers.  Virgil stood up, feeling the pop of his knee and wincing a little at yet another sensation he didn’t know about. He stood eye-to-eye with Roman, only waiting a few seconds before wrapping his arms around him tightly.  Roman stood there, unmoving, and then suddenly he was pulling Virgil closer, holding him so tightly that Virgil almost knew what it meant to not be  _ able  _ to breathe.  But Virgil didn’t mind.  He buried his face into Roman’s shoulder, the warmth of his skin making Virgil unable to pull away.  

 

And when Logan finally joined in, his arm looping over Virgil’s shoulders, well then there was no leaving.  Virgil faintly felt Patton making it a full group hug, but he was so overwhelmed in a good way. He had never been overwhelmed in a way that made him not want to run away and hide in his bed, but here he was.  New sensations and feelings running him over like a steamroller, and he was willingly lying down in the street to wait for it.  

 

Virgil managed to not cry during the embrace, but as he finally pulled away and saw the looks on both Roman and Logan’s faces, his eyes began to sting again.  Crying was getting old, but he couldn’t bring himself to be upset about it. Logan stepped back, walking over to Patton to ask him in a hushed whisper to explain the full story, leaving Roman right in front of Virgil.  The two stood in silence for a minute, breathing the quiet air and each feeling the warmth of the other for the first time. Virgil never wanted to leave this moment. But his mind thought back to a moment a little less than a year ago, in the middle of a sunny field.  He wondered if bringing it up was a good idea, if Roman still felt that way. If he still remembered what he said. Virgil couldn’t forget even if he wanted to. Part of him wondered if this would be  _ too  _ much, after all that he’d done today, but he had waited this long already.  He would have waited forever, but it was right in front of him now, and he knew that if he let it fade away then Patton might just kill him.  And honestly, he’d let himself live as a ghost again if he was stupid enough to stay quiet right now. He second-guessed himself just once more, until the look in Roman’s eyes softened again and Virgil broke.  He caved, giving in to what he’d wanted and what he’d pushed away for months.

 

“So…” He started, his smile slowly turning mischievous.  “I think you made me a promise?”

 

A beat of silence before Roman was chuckling softly.

 

“I believe I did, storm cloud, I believe I did.”

 

And then they both hesitated, just a moment, before Roman leaned in.  

 

It was imperfect, inexperienced, and completely, utterly new.  It made Virgil’s heart beat with an intensity he didn’t know it could have, and it might have been painful had the procedure with Emile not been excruciating.  Compared to that? This was nothing, and yet it was  _ everything _ .  

 

Roman kissed Virgil, and Virgil knew that he made the right choice to wait all those months ago.  

 

It wasn’t ‘good’ by any arbitrary standard set by movies and television...but neither of them would have it any other way.  It felt perfect.

 

* * *

 

The following day saw the four of them sitting by the river and eating ice cream.  Patton, true to his word and his love for his brother, paid for Virgil’s, who was staring around at everything like he had never seen it before.  He had lived in this town his whole life, and this was his first time really being  _ in  _ it.  He was barely participating in the conversation, only chiming in with small bursts and then going right back to his careful examination of every blade of grass or light cloud that crossed the crystal blue sky.  

 

The past few hours had been spent wandering the town, with every brick house and cement sidewalk feeling like a brand new feature, and with Virgil realizing just how annoying it is when you can actually trip over things instead of just going through them.  He didn’t really mind though. How could he? He also realized while walking around the town that he retained the Sight that he had as a spirit. He was happy about that, he didn’t know if he would want to completely lose that part of him, not after so many years.  And, he supposed he would want to keep talking to the ghosts around the school. They were rather nice.  

 

The four of them had also made the walk around the perimeter of the town, passing along the edge of the woods as the twins pointed out Emile’s house.  They decided not to bother him, as he was most likely still working through the data that he had collected with Virgil, however they did spot Remy once again in between the trees.  Patton called out to him this time, and he raised his head to look at the four of them expectantly. It took him a second to notice what was different, but Virgil could see his eyebrows raise over the top of his sunglasses.  Then a grin flickered onto his face and he gave Virgil a nod. Virgil gave him a small wave in return, trying to convey all of his thanks into the one gesture. He hoped that Remy could maybe become one of Virgil’s few friends.  

 

After hours of walking, Virgil’s legs had nearly given out, not used to such vigorous use.  So he had claimed the spot by the river while the others went to get the ice cream. It gave him time to enjoy the soft lapping of the water against the rocks before conversation overshadowed it.  At one point after the ice cream had been finished, he lay back on the grass, feeling the sharper blades poke at his clothes, and the others followed suit. As he lay beside Virgil, Roman reached over and laced their fingers together gently, earning a soft look in return.  Logan, laying down next to Roman, didn’t even complain about the possibility of getting grass stains on his shirt. At a time like this, he couldn’t bring himself to care about that. Virgil wasn’t wearing his hoodie, opting to toss it on the bench that sat behind them on the grass.  He had never not worn his hoodie before. It felt strange, but not in a bad way. Not entirely, at least. He felt exposed, but with three of his favorite people right next to him there was no way for him to feel anything but safe.

 

Virgil stared up at the sky, tracking every cloud with his eyes and feeling simultaneously like he was flying up with them and also rooted to the ground in between his best friends.  He had been exploring every new sensation and feeling that he could, wanting to taste everything and see everything. At this moment, he realized something that he had felt this whole time, but couldn’t put his finger on.

 

Lying there, with the warm sun beating down on his bare arms and shining on his scars, with his brother on one side, his boyfriend on the other, and his best friend only a foot away, with his chest slowly moving with each breath he took, with his eyes growing drowsy from the warmth, and with his mouth curled into an affectionate smile...there was only one word to describe how Virgil felt at that moment.  

 

And, well, it might have been obvious, but it meant the absolute world to him.

 

Virgil felt  _ alive _ .  

 

And that wasn’t about to change anytime soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading this fic, I love everyone who commented and left kudos, it meant the world to me everytime. I hope you all enjoyed. Also, fun fact, Virgil 150% got the hiccups like,,,,,ten minutes after coming back to life bc he forgot he had to breathe, and that was a Fun experience im sure. 
> 
> Idk if you were interested from my note two chapters ago, but I do have two other sanders sides fic ideas that I'm currently figuring out! 
> 
> 1) Trying not to spoil anything: Virgil is on the run and in hiding from a pair of vampires. He lives with his best friend Logan, who is helping him stay under the radar and out of the vampires' hands, but nothing can stay safe forever. Will they be alone when Virgil's safety is compromised? or will they find help in the city, from someone else with a grudge against these particular vampires?
> 
> 2) Roman is convinced that he is a real life Disney Prince. After all, why else would random wild animals keep coming up to him and acting like pets? He knows he's right, and he will stop at nothing until Logan and Virgil see that he's not crazy. But why is Virgil *always* busy when he tries to show them? Will Roman ever get Virgil to see his animal-attracting Disney powers? Will Virgil ever tell Roman the truth about why he can never meet up when Roman plans to? 
> 
> Idea 1 is more plot oriented, and Idea 2 is a bit more romance-y. Idk how long itll take for me to get those finished, but I hope that it'll be soon!!! Hopefully those sound interesting to you guys. 
> 
> Again, thank you so much for reading this and commenting on it and I hope you guys liked the last chapter. See you on whatever I write next, hopefully <3

**Author's Note:**

> thank you VERY much for reading, i will try and upload every saturday :)  
> i know this first chapter was a little short, it had to set some things up but i hope you liked it!!!!


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